Wedding guest rant

Temp663997437501443 · May 2009

Yes, dear friends. It's wedding time again. And, yet again, I have received a total faux pas for a wedding invitation recently. The formal wedding invitation was addressed to Mr. 315 and guest. After being married almost three years, I would think I warrant my own place on the invitation. I keep asking H who he's bringing. The groom is a friend of H's from HS, but he most certainly has met me and can see my name very clearly on FB.

Also, I didn't see any info about accommodations. I managed to find a Knot webpage for their Upstate NY wedding. Rates for the resort where their reception is: $355/ night with a 2 night minimum. And that's the group rate. WTF. There are other less expensive places listed but it's not clear if there are transportation arrangements. I'm thinking this is going to be one that we decline.

Liza3394 · May 2009

Oh boy - how awful!!!

We only have 3 this year (just had the first last weekend) - but I know they will be interesting.

And this is always my pet peeve - I know I spent A LOT of time double checking etiquette, names, who's with who, etc etc for our wedding. And yes I think we had an amazing wedding - that was great for our guests not just us. It drives me bonkers when I see other people ignoring those things for reasons of either being lazy, ignorant or whatever.

naylon511 · May 2009

Wow.

We were invitied to a wedding last year by someone H and I knew equally as well - we met him together in a class we took - and it was addressed to Mr. DH and Guest. ?We were engaged and living together. ?I told him I wasn't going to the wedding. ?I ended up going but I still bring it up - it was the height of rudeness as far as I'm concerned. ?

To the PP who got the invite about "big dreams and a little house" ?- WOW. ?That might take the cake. ?"We still rent", would have been a good reply as would have been "don't have a big wedding, then", or simply "elope"

BelgiumBride · May 2009

I was thinking about this, and realized that when DH and I moved in together, we got an invite--to a wedding in which he was a groomsman--to Mr. DH and guest. I marked it down to classless people--still don't like them.

But I agree--asking for money on the invite, that takes a special kind of self-centered brashness. When the boat goes down, those two are stealing all the life-preservers.

I also recently got a housewarming invite using DH's last name instead of mine--the strange thing is this is someone I've known since I was 13, so she had to do some work to figure out DH's last name and replace mine. In her case, too much attention to ettiquette, in a well-meaning way.

MrsKocal · May 2009

DH got an inviation to a wedding once addressed only to him. Not even "and guest". And we were engaged, and living together in NY - he MOVED to NY to be with ME, everyone knows that, so OBVIOUSLY he has a signficant other. Even if this person didn't know we were engaged, he had to know we were living together because he knew that DH was living in NY because that's where he sent the invite. And the wedding was in Cali. So, this "friend" expected DH to fly back to Cali solo to attend this wedding, and leave me at home. He didn't go.

Whiterose006 · May 2009

We had the same situation. DH's friend was getting married and the invitation said Mr. John Smith and guest. We did n't go to their weeding , surely my husband was not going with a guest and well - I was not invited. DH thought I was making a big fuss though as no one knows how to spell my name. Given that I have a unique- ethnic name, the least they could have written Mr. and Mrs. John Smith - some of our other friends have done that. I am glad I am not the only one who got offended.

dnagal · May 2009

YOu know, a fairly common theme here is "a friend of DH" Have any of you received an invitation to YOU "and guest", probably not, because women pay more attention to these things-like the names of their girlfriends' partners. Guys are clueless, and are likely to give their fiance'es partial information, or not be as concerned about the details (like your NAME) etc. Granted, the bride should get him to get the appropriate info, but with some guys, it's like pulling teeth.

budgetbride2007 · May 2009

I know where you guys are coming from. DH and I are attending a wedding next month in which our DD will be a flower girl . They were great to buy her dress hair accessories but we are still shelling out way too much money. They had an e-party last year which we got them a gift for, they just had their jack & jill shower about 3 weeks ago (another gift), DH and I each had to shell out $150 for their bachlor/bachlorette parties which will be this saturday just to go on a party bus to a lounge, and then their wedding will be about 3 weeks later and we'll have to give them cash for that, I think we usually give a generous gift but it will be substantially scaled down now. I tried to give suggestions to lower the cost of the bachlorette party but I got shut down. I also don't want to make waves because the groom is one of my DH's good friend, I don't have any issues with the bride and we thought it was really sweet of them to have our daughter as their flower girl and pay $150 for her dress but I just wish they'd be a little more considerate of everyones pockets especially when the know DH was laid off.

marie427 · May 2009

Now that we're married, I'd be annoyed if we got an invitation that didn't at least have Mr. and Mrs. DH-first-name Our-last-name.

Next month will be wedding #3 for us within the first half of 2009 - the first was ours though, but I figure that counts. Next month's wedding is gonna be a trainwreck thanks to groom's-sister-zilla and her antics.

While I didn't think our winter wedding was ideal because I was so scared about the potential for a blizzard (it ended up being GORGEOUS and a bit on the mild side for February that day), we did have some guests tell us they were happy that our wedding was during the winter because they didn't have to attend any other weddings anywhere near ours. A married couple we're good friends with attended TEN weddings in 2008, none of which they could really decline since they knew all the couples fairly well. Two of them were on back-to-back days - a Thursday, July 3rd wedding and a Friday, July 4th wedding.

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