Orange County Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: what do you do after a fight?
Are things awkward for you and H for a while after a big gnarly fight/ heavy discussion?
What do you do to get past it? Do you do something nice to break the ice so to speak? Do you just give each other space? Obviously everyone is different-but I'm just nosey to hear what you guys do.
Re: Poll: what do you do after a fight?
H and I usually suffer a good day or two of awkwardness where we don't ignore each other per say, but we definitely give each other space. We just find stuff to do away from each other for a day or two then settle back.
It totally depends on the fight. If I think I was in the wrong, I will try to apologize and make it up to him by making dinner or buying him a little present. If I feel H was in the wrong, I get super pissy and don't speak to him until he apologizes. I know, very mature, right?
As far as getting past it, I'm a talker and H is not, so I usually want to discuss it and he blows it off. Which usually means we fight about the same shiit all the time. We usually make up within a day or two depending on how gnarly the fight it, but it doesn't mean we are over it, unfortunately.
Chart/Blog
Nothing breeds faster than Crazy
We go out to eat and drink and pretend like nothing happened.
Real healthy!
Well so far, we have not ever gone days without speaking. We are both more the types to deal with it right now and grind it into the ground until we reach a solution. Sounds great, but it usually means that we have epically long discussions that sometimes last hours and hours. If it is a minor tiff, we usually just kind of do our own thing for a few hours and typically when one of us gets hungry we end up just letting it blow over for the sake of food...LOL
This also dosent mean that we always premanently resolve the issues we are fighting about, sometimes it takes a few loooonnngggg discussions to resolve things.
We're lame & put notes on the animals like, "Dad says he's sorry he's a douchebag. Can you two grab dinner and make up?" or "Pregnancy hormones make Mom crazy, when you're done can you come upstairs for a hug?"
It's totally dorky but we rarely make it more than 30-40 minutes after a disagreement without resolving everything but it still gives us a bit of cooling off.
Socializing foster puppies since 2009
Chart for TTC#2 - BFP 6.10.12, m/c 6.17.12 @ 4w3d ? BFP 7.14.12, EDD 3.27.13
Beta @ 15DPO: 441, P: 15.1 ? 19DPO: 2,784 ? 26DPO: 28,886 ? U/S 8/2: One happy HB!
Elective U/S @ 15w5d - it's a BOY! Confirmed at 19w6d. ?
If it's a big fight, one of us leaves for a little while (like an hour or two, overnight or anything) then if it still needs working we talk it out. If it's something small we just ignore each other for a little bit and then everything is back to normal.
We don't have fights like that. I am the type to get mad, stomp around, give silent treatment, etc...but DH will not have it. Plus, he usually softens first and calms us both down and we then rationally discuss and move past it. That is the one thing I owe to DH...he has seriously calmed me down. I used to be a screaming fighter, and now I see it's not worth it.
What he does to difuse the situation is he talks really calmly no matter how upset I'm getting. He makes us get right to the point of what is wrong rather than yelling about things that don't have anything to do with what we are really talking about. Also, he apologizes if he is wrong, which in turn makes me apologize if I am wrong.
We don't have big fights since DH never loses his temper. If we are disagreeing on something we talk it through. One thing we refuse to do is go to bed angry, yell, or say things we'll regret later.
That being said, before I met MH I was a big fan of the silent treatment when I would fight in other relationships.
We have big fights every once in a while. DH will leave the house and go for a drive or a walk. And then he'll come back and we'll discuss it instead of argue.
Little fights are short. He's making me laugh with in a few minutes. I can't stay angry at him.
Nothing ever lasts more than a day.
I'm divorced. So, no, we don't get past it.
Ditto. We've never fought. DH is one of those guys that just stirs his coffee really fast when he's angry. We have a discussion, and then do something fun together.