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(pg related) How did you know you were ready? does this mean I'm not ready? (long)
On some of the other boards, I see nesties who want a baby so VERY badly. Some haven't even started ttc yet but it's all they can think about. It's completely full blown babie rabies. I on the other hand don't have rabies but I like the thought of getting pregnant this year. I love the thoughts of DH playing with our children one day in the future. I would be devstated if I ever found out that we couldn't have our own children. I don't feel cheated or envious, or that I'm missing out by not being pg right now, but if were pg, I would be very happy (just not, OMFG I"M PG! #!@*!!!) I feel calm and happy about the whole thing for the most part.
But because I wouldn't be shouting from the roof tops if I got pg, do you think this means we should wait a bit more to start ttc? I feel that we're ready to be good, responsible, loving parents. The only things I can think of that would make us more ready is that I would like to be more healthy/in better shape & we would like to be better financially (currently we are both working 2nd jobs and hardly spending any money so that we can become closer to being debt free
)
Remember I posted before that I had a lot of guilt for even thinking about getting pg before my closest friend? I am getting over it but now I've become so pissed at her for laying that guilt trip on me that I can't even speak to her. I guess this is still a black cloud that's hanging around too.
Anyway, how did you know you were ready?
Re: (pg related) How did you know you were ready? does this mean I'm not ready? (long)
I like the alarm clock analogy. Wanting to TTC is like having an alarm go off - when you're not ready yet, you think "eh, that's nice," but just hit snooze. Then more time passes, it goes off again, you hit snooze again, etc. Eventually a time comes when you just don't want to hit snooze any more!
If you think you're still at a stage where you can hit snooze, then I'd recommend waiting for a while still. You can set a timeline - in 3 or 6 months, revisit the idea and see how you're feeling. This is kind of what we did - we decided last year that we'd tentatively plan on TTCing at the beginning of this year, and those were the three longest months of my life! That's how I knew I was definitely ready lol.
At any rate, start taking prenatal vitamins now - you might not need them, but they won't hurt you (in fact, they do great things for your nails!). Oh, and don't forget that if you're on BCP, you'll need to allow a few months for them to get out of your system...so whenever you think, "Yup, I'll be ready to start trying in 3 months!" then stop taking them and use condoms until you start trying for real.
yup, still hitting snooze right now! I have been taking pnv for four months already and had a check up to make sure I was in good health for ttc. Condoms are the story of my life (well at least my sex life) since I've always used them (they do work great- if you use them!). Bcp's have always freaked me out so I've never taken them. Looks like I was right seeing as some girls are having wacky cycles after being off them for a year already (but some went right back to normal, hmmmm?).
Ya maybe we'll 'revisit' the idea in a few months. (Saying that makes me a little sad though)
Honestly, I don't think you are ever really READY, you just decide and then plod ahead and then it happens and you're like, OK... This is it!
And I think I was about where it sounds like you are at when we started trying... Or I should say, when we STOPPED trying to PREVENT it. I think the few months where we knew it "could" happen gave me time to warm up to the idea before we REALLY started TTC in earnest.
So maybe instead of putting off TTC, you can just ease into it slowly? Keep in mind that getting off BCP could mean it'll happen right away. Or not. But you can maybe spend a few months "letting nature lead" and not taking daily temps and all that stuff. Then, when you're ready, start taking temps.
In our case, I went off BCP last July. But I didn't temp or time anything. We just did what we did, figuring it it happens, great, if not, I got a marathon to run!
It wasn't until Sept, after lurking on the BOTB board, I learned about TCOYF and decided to get a themometor and started temping, which led us to start planning for a week of "fun" to conincide with my O date.
After two months of temping, I got KU. So...... Just deciding to TTC doesn't mean that you have to go all out with the charts and temps. Try winging it for a while, then in a few months, you'll know when you're ready to step it up with the temps and timing and stuff.
HTH!
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
I am not sure that I actually woke up on day and thought..wahoo honey, let's make some babies!!!
It was just kind of known that we both wanted kids, that I was turning 30 and that we needed to grow up soon
.
We never actively tried to get PG, I didn't chart, etc. It just happened. When it did, we were very surprised and I have a million different emotions (not all of them so great), but I have never been more happier than I am right now!!
I don't think you will ever be 100% ready. There are a million other things I wish we could have done before having a baby (travel, payoff student loans, bought a house, etc.). If we had waited, we would have been waiting a really long time and we would have lost our "window."
I am not sure if this helped or not, it's just how it worked for me.
I agree with the pp...I don't think you're ever 100% ready. I planned on getting KU and now that I am I still find myself thinking from time to time, "Uh-oh. What have we done?" It's daunting and overwhelming. Especially for me. I never really saw myself ever wanting to have kids, let alone actually doing it. But something changed after we were married. I cannot really explain it.
Honestly? I never saw myself getting remarried after my divorce at age 27. I was going to be single and free my whole life. But things change. And now, I am married and free! I just didn't know it could be that way. And MH is going to be an amazing father. I am turning 35 this year and figured that now was as good a time as any if we're gonna do it. Do we have debt? Yes. DH is in school fulltime transitioning to a new career and works two craptastic jobs. We don't own an home and I certainly could have been slimmer before getting PG (although I did lose 22 lbs.) So , yeah, on paper, it seems silly that now is the right time of us. But, somehow, it is. I have a great job with full medical benefits and paid maternity leave (which I didn't have last year when I was working for myself).
So we're excited for this next phase even though so much of it beyond our immediate control. We plan to roll with the punches as they come and plan the best that we can. I know kids can be expensive, but we're planning on being frugal, as we always are...and at the end of the day, our parents raised us with far less than we have and we turned out fine.
You have to do what's right for you and if waiting a few more months before TTC is the right thing than so be it. Oddly enough when we decided to TTC we were going to wait until June...well obviously...we moved that up by a couple of months and we are so happy that we did. Your babies will come at the right time for you.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
this was us. i agree that you're never 100% ready so don't wait for that moment. i still wonder if we're really ready
that said, it seems you are ok with waiting and i think it would be good to wait until you pay off some of that debt and are more financially stable. i'd either revisit the idea in a few months like Lisa suggested, or just stop TTA and see what happens
though if you stop TTA the odds of getting PG are 20% each month and personally, i would want to pay off as much "bad debt" as possible before having a baby. just my 2 cents 
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I think I'm in the same place you are right now. I know I want kids on an academic level, but I've never had the strong emotions that I assumed would come. I still don't have it.
We agreed to wait a couple more years to TTC, but MH dropped the baby bomb on me in April. Even he's still on the fence at times, but it was a complete shock to hear he wanted to try sooner rather than later!
I'm still lukewarm about it, but the more I read and learn from others, the more I start thinking that it's more doable right now than I originally thought. We agreed to reassess how we feel about TTC in September, after we get back from Vegas (this is the real reason I have that ticker in my siggy).
MH wants to go to Vegas again in March as a last hurrah of sorts before TTC. Accepting that we could possibly be TTC as early as September, I have to admit I was a little disappointed. I feel myself getting a little anxious to get to it already! I don't think I have the baby bug...maybe it's a baby larva at this point.
LOL! If you look at the date of the original post, it was back in June