Dallas-Fort Worth Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Cop wives...
I saw in a previous post that there are quite a few of you on here. My husband recently did the civil service and physical exam, as well as submitted his personal statement for the Carrollton PD. My mom has been a police officer for almost 20 years up in Washington State so I know a lot about how it works... but I was curious as to what it is like to be the wife of a cop. Does it make you nervous? Also, any advice you can offer my husband as he attempts to make it into training academy some where?
Thanks in advance!
Re: Cop wives...
Hi there! I mainly "lurk" here but couldn't help responding to this post...I hope you don't mind!
I am married to a police officer. We have been married a little over a year. The way I look at the situation is that he is trained for what he does. In this day and age, it truly does not matter your occupation - danger is everywhere. We could be at the mall, at school, at work, anywhere and be in harms way. Yes, he is in harms way every time he goes to work...but he has the training that he needs to do his job. I find comfort int that...
As for advice to your husband- when he gets hired, make certain that he joins a police association ASAP!!! The Texas Municipal Police Association (TMPA) or CLEET are the main options. There is a montly membership fee but this will cover your husband (free legal representation...) anytime it is needed...and trust me, people that are arrested like to make any claim possible regarding officers...so this is important.
I would also highly suggest that your husband only test with agencies that are civil service. This provides a lot more protection to the officer and is much different than being an "at will" employee.
I hope I have provided a little help on this matter!
Agree with most of the above, although my husband now works for a non-civil service department after working for a civil service department for over 6 years. There are good and bad to both sides. He has been at the non-CS city for over 5 years and really likes it.
He should definitely join TMPA or CLEAT (whichever is the option).
I really don't worry about him TOO much, but sometimes I do - it depends on what's going on. He hasn't been in patrol for a while, though (he is a detective), so there is less risk than being out on the street.
There is a book called "I Love a Cop" which is all about being married to an officer. IMO it goes to the extreme (like if you were married to a NYPD cop who worked in a crappy part of NYC), but there are some general ideas about what's it like to be a cop spouse.
Good cops are always 'on'. They try to be alert because they know that danger can be anywhere. My husband won't sit in a restaurant with his back to the door - just in case any *** went down. They just think that way.
Just be supportive. I personally find police departments to be pretty incestuous places. There's also a lot of divorce - probably partially due to the incest
. We don't really hang out with other officers socially, but in some departments you kind of have to do that to 'fit in'. I definitely don't have much in common with a lot of the other wives, but if there is a spouse's group, you may want to join just to meet people.
My husband just graduated from the Dallas Police Academy about a month ago, so he just got out there. He is located in the Oak Cliff area, which is a very dangerous part of Dallas- but he chose it b/c he wanted 'action'.
The hardest thing for me to adjust to was the schedule. In the academy he worked 8-5, but he had to study A LOT. But now that's he's out on the street, his shifts are 11 pm - 7 am. It will probably be that shift for at least a couple years. That part is no fun, but otherwise I try not to worry about him. It would drive me insane if I thought about it too much.
Oh, Erin- my DH is the exact same way as far as not having his back to the door. He always has to make sure he can see the door no matter where he is. :-)
Thank you all! This is very helpful. If my husband becomes a cop it will be a big career change for him but I think it will be something he enjoys. He played college football and wants to get back into a team environment as well as being more active and feel like he is helping people.
We are just wondering how long it will be until he hears something from the CPD. His personal statement was due by May 4 and they had about 75 people to get through. I will make sure to update you all when we hear something as I am sure I will have more questions. Thank you for your support and I will make sure to pass on the info to B.
Agree with most of the above! My husband is also with DPD.
I think the hardest thing for me to adjust to was listening to "bad cop" stories (getting pulled over for speeding, media bias against cops, etc.). I don't know if this has happened to others or not, but it's really frustrating!
Just be supportive and always listen to venting!
p.s. My DH won't sit with his back to the door either! He always wants to be able to see everything that is going on.