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need to learn to let things go (long)
It's something I've never really been good at. something gets under my skin or feels unresolved then I find it will sit with me until some sort of resolution.
today it's an incident I had with someone at work (not in my office but someone I work with on a daily basis at another company). comes down to miscommunication really but because they didn't give me the info i needed in time it cost my department extra money and was a waste of people's time. then at the eleventh hour yesterday I'm given a piece of key information that impacts a number of people. luckily i was able to work it out but that's the 2nd time in two weeks it has happened.
I know that they person is new to this position (although she's done the job for years at other places and we have worked together in the past) so I wrote them to point out what happened (hoping to avoid in the future) and suggesting we talk next week about it. her response was that she was personally offended, not talking to me about it and that she's escalating it by going to her bosses.
sigh.
This is the same person that just 1 week ago said in person to me that she wants us to be direct with each other and honest. no time for B.S. or going around things. I guess that wasn't entirely true.
I know that emails can be taken different ways but I was really careful in how I worded this. even had someone read over it to see if they were offended. um, nope.
We have to work together and need to work things out. this is the second time in 2 weeks we've had an issue (again she didn't communicate some vital information and we nearly did something that would have gotten us in trouble even though it wasn't our fault since we were missing some key info). luckily we avoided the mistake then but even that day she never took responsibility and blamed everyone else.
i've never had this situation arise before and it's so frustrating. I have great relationships with all the people I work with who are outside my office. something I work hard to make happen.
fwiw, i did send her an apology email saying I didn't mean for her to be offended, that that wasn't my intent. not because she escalated it (that just annoys me and says more about her) but I dont' want her to feel attacked.
Re: need to learn to let things go (long)
I despise when colleagues go above your head instead of solving the problem with you first (and I know supervisors hate this as well). Hopefully, if anything happens, it will bring light to the fact that she messed up twice in a row and you responded in the way that you had to.
I often perseverate in work issue like that as well. Unless there is something that you can do about it now, I would do your best to try and shove it out of your brain - for the weekend anyway.
thanks ladies. I just spoke to my mother as well (who is really good at not being bias) I read her the actual email exchange and she thinks that the other person is over reacting. i just hope that the way she's talking about me in her office doesn't damage my rep or the companies.we have to work together going forward. i think having minimal contact might be key for awhile (not that it's up to us really).
i'm also hoping her bosses tell her to sort it out on her own. I think it's silly to have to go to the next (and higher) levels.
I did let my boss know just so she's in the loop (just to be safe).
anyway, I did some asking around and it turns out that a few other producers I know have also had issues with her. they tell me she's moody, acts as though conversations didn't happen and is really junior. great. well at least I know I"m not alone. now I'll just have to deal with it (more information tho is always best).