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Soo....Our Awkward Family Photo...
...was this weekend. We all had to wear jeans and white shirts with no shoes. Yup...barefoot.. They had us do fun poses such as my MIL sitting cross legged with SIL and i next to her and our Sig others sitting in captain Morgan type poses. haha Still, we had a good time with the cheesiness of it and laughed a lot.
We took 2 pics of the whole group (IL's, SIL, her live in BF, H and me) then they took me and the BF out of the picture for a few pics. Then, they put me back in but left the BF out.
So, it comes time to order the pics and MIL decides to order 8x10's of the 2 group shots (with me and the BF and the one with me) and a large 11x14 of just the 4 of them.
Here is where I dont know if I am overreacting. I got kinda upset in the car ride home (just H and i ) that she ordered the large pic of just the 4 of them. Before our wedding, she called our photog and asked her to take a "family portrait" of the 4 of them. I saw my photog's notes and MIL stressed that it would be of them 4 ONLY (only was underlined). MIL told me that she had always wanted a family portrait of the 4 of them to hang over the fireplace and apparently thought that our wedding...the day I join the family... was the appropriate place to take that picture.
So, here we are a year later...I have been "part of the family" for a year and she orders the large portrait of the family without me in it. She says that she is going to put the 2 smaller pictures next to the large one, but still. Isn't the point of taking a family portrait every so often to show how your family is growning?
It has really been bothering me and I am awful at confrontation, so part of me is debating calling her and saying something just so she knows how I feel and we can be done with it. I am not mad at all...just kinda hurt by the situation and I feel like if I hold it in, it will just keep bothering me.
Re: Soo....Our Awkward Family Photo...
That's a tough situation. I think it's worth talking to your H and maybe your MIL (if she's a reasonable person) about your feelings, but then not holding on to those feelings.
We did those family only pictures at our wedding, too, and still do. My H is usually a part of them, but now and then my parents want a photo with just their kids. I don't think it's meant to hurt your feelings or anything. I think it's somewhat natural.
That said, I do think they should have ordered the same size with you in it.
I can totally see what you mean. And even if she just wanted a family portrait, you're right - the wedding isn't the time to do it.
My H's grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding annivesary in Myrtle Beach 2 years ago, with the entire family. A photo was taken was the "family," and I was not included in any of the photos (we were engaged at the time). I was sad about it... I can't imagine the thoughts going through your head with the wedding photo and again over the weekend
Yea, it is just tough bc I can totally see taking a pic of just the 4 of them. I think it was more the fact that she made such a big deal to the photog and me about taking a "family portrait" at our wedding than the actual picture.
Same with this...it is totally understandable that they would take a pic of just the 4 of them. What is making me upset is the fact that the pic with the 4 of them is the one that will be prominently displayed even though I am supposed to be "part of the family " now.
IDK...I am hesitatant to say something bc I dont want it to come out wrong
That would bother me too, but I would probably say something to H and not the MIL. My family always considers any of our SO part of the family, so it's definitely weird when people don't want to include them in family pics.
Maybe your H can say something to your MIL about you being upset that you weren't included in the family picture. That way it's more him being concerned and won't come off as you being jealous, etc...which you are def not being.
I think your feelings are justified then, Krista. You're not being unreasonable at all. I'd talk it out with H first and discuss with him if he thinks it's worth it to talk to his mom.
I mean, is it something where it would make a little statement if you ordered a photo of the larger group shot and hung it up? Might not be worth ruining your decor...
WOW! what a biatch. i would probably never say anything. i think it is a shitty thing that she is doing...but i dont care that much about my extended family pissing me off. all i really care about is how my husband treats me.
definitely do what you feel is right
My H thinks that I am overreacting and that it is not a big deal so that may make it tough for him to say something on my behalf. I may just wait until she hangs the photo up and make a tiny comment (in a nice way). IDK.
She isn't intentionally being mean or a biach...I think that she just doens't think when she does stuff. Which is why my feelings are hurt bc it doesn't even occur to her to include the newest member of the family in the large family portrait she chooses to display.
Has anyone seen this website? This is why I titled the post as I did...it is hilarious...
www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com
I can relate. From our wedding, there's a very nice picture of my H, his mom & grandma both with and without his uncle. I wasn't in them because they were taken before the ceremony. Afterwards, we took one as a couple with them. I don't recall if she mentioned it before the wedding or after but she says she bought a "generations" frame and needs a good photo for it. Apparently neither of the ones from the wedding were good enough.
So a few months later we went to get "married again" at his church to appease her or supposedly his great-uncle. Twice, once outside the church and once at the restaurant afterwards, she hands me the camera and asks me to take a picture for her generations frame. At the restaurant, his grandma actually said "shouldn't Laura be in the picture?" So I got in the next one but I'm pretty sure the one I'm in didn't make it to the frame.
Sorry, long example to show how I relate. But while yes it's annoying and a bit hurtful, I agree that you can't sweat the small stuff. In my case, not being in the picture frame is nothing compared to the fact that she tried to get him to call off the wedding a month before it or questioned my sexuality the night before.