Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bridal party WWYD
So BFF is getting married. Destination wedding the week of my EDD. She knows I won't be going, but the rest of the bridal party don't.
I just got an email from one of the bridesmaids. She's proposing a very eleborate bachelorette weekend. I would conservatively estimate that it will cost no less than $400 per person.
BFF will be mortified. It's a super fun weekend that she would love, but she is adamant that she does not want big pre wedding parties because she feels that people are spending money to come to their wedding and she doesn't want them spending any more on her wedding. She actually just emailed me again about this. I know she feels strongly about it as she was just in a destination wedding where the bride also had multiple showers, an engagement party, a buck and doe, and a bachelorette weekend.
So, not sure how to handle this. I want to email back, but not sure if I should get involved. While I won't be going to the wedding, I will be involved in the normal bridal party aspects. But I can't spend $400 on this weekend (and it involves lots of wine and drinking, which obviously I won't be participating in).
So, let them do whatever they want or gently suggest that while it sounds very fitting for the bride, I know she does not want an elaborate weekend?
Re: Bridal party WWYD
Ah, tricky...
Were you and BFF ever in a bridal party together? Like, maybe you could say to this bridesmaid that you and BFF were in this one wedding where you had to pitch in for an elaborate event like that and BFF said "If I ever get married, please for the love of pete, don't do this for me. It's too over the top"
It may be a little white lie but it could work.
I'd say what you just told us.. that you were just talking to the bride about another wedding she had been in (unless of course one of the bridesmaids is this same girl) and that bride said she didn't really want anything like that for hers because she feels bad for people who have to spend so much money... or something like that.
I would just be totally honest with the bridesmaid. Say you know the bride has mentioned she doesn't want anything elaborate because it's a destination wedding. Tell her that her idea sounds great, but maybe it should be a girls weekend for all of you next yr (or sometime in the future).
Then I'd suggest something more up your friend's ally and offer to help plan (if possible). That way even though you're shutting down her idea, you're providing an alternative.