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wedding gifts

ok, so might get flamed for this but i have to just get this out. So a gf of mine got married almost two years ago. we attended, and gave a nice financil gift in a card on the day of the wedding. our wedding was last month. they came, and gave nothing, not even a card. it's been over a month and no follow up or "late card" or anything. We are pretty pissed.

She has now emailed me and bascially is saying, "what's up, how are you?" and i do not even want to respond back. now i know ppl say you can have up to a year, but how do you contact a person you stiffed as if nothing is wrong? (And trust me, i would understand this was an economy thing, but for them it's not....lucky them) i guess i am just shocked. esp since before the wedding i only heard from her like twice a year since we stopped working at the same place.

Re: wedding gifts

  • I wouldn't say anything. It's not worth the trouble. Or maybe they did give something and it got lost.
  • well i def dont want to comment on the no gift, i guess i am just shocked at her emailing me. 

    did anyone else experience a lot of "came, but not even a card" guests? we were both shocked by this.

  • Umm I did!  DH as 2 brothers.  One gave a card with no gift and the other gave nothing, not even a card.  I understand that they have financial issues, but to not even give a card, to me, is unacceptable.  Especially all that we've done for his younger brother.  My whole bridal party didn't even give me as much as a card.  I know it's kind of rude, but they have yet to receive a thank you note, but it makes me feel better!  I can totally understand what you're feeling now!
  • We had several no card-giving guests. Three of them were in the bridal party (one being my brother, another the Best Man), several cousins of my H's, and one of my H's aunts. I was peeved about it for a while, but I've accepted the fact that they have no wedding etiquette. Like you said, it's not about a gift, it's about an acknowledgement of your marriage. We actually received a wedding card (w a nice $ cash) about a month ago from one of the aforementioned cousins (we got married in October). My biggest wedding realization was the lesson I learned about relationships throughout the process.
  • imageeb629:
    We had several no card-giving guests. Three of them were in the bridal party (one being my brother, another the Best Man), several cousins of my H's, and one of my H's aunts. I was peeved about it for a while, but I've accepted the fact that they have no wedding etiquette. Like you said, it's not about a gift, it's about an acknowledgement of your marriage. We actually received a wedding card (w a nice $ cash) about a month ago from one of the aforementioned cousins (we got married in October). My biggest wedding realization was the lesson I learned about relationships throughout the process.

    Agreed.  You get the initial shock, but it takes time!  I'm just a firm believer that you get what you give  Big Smile

  • wow, that is a tough one, but I can definitely understand you feeling hurt/confused by it.  The first thing that popped into my head was maybe the card was lost or misplaced??

    We only had one non-gift giver...this guy from my H's side that we invited (alone) who rsvp'ed for 3...him, his gf and her sister.  My MIL told him this was fine. We were po'ed when we didnt even get a card.  

  • We had quite a few people who didn't even give us so much as a card.  Pretty sure all of them were on H's side.  We also got a card with $25 in it from his aunt & uncle and 3 adult cousins.  All 5 of them RSVPed yes and only the aunt and one cousin showed.  It didn't really bother me that some people didn't give us gifts because I've just come to realize that most of his family is tacky, it just really bothered me that some people couldn't even be bothered to give us a card.
  • We still have a few non-gift givers remaining. While I had heard this happening before the wedding, it still surprises me. I do not even go to someone's house for a BBQ without bringing even a little something, so it shocks me that people would go to a wedding without even bringing a card. Do they go to a brithday party and not bring a gift? Oh well.....

     

  • Personally, I would just let it go because I can't think of a way to approach it that wouldn't be awkward for all involved. But even if it really bothered me to the point I didn't want to talk to the person, I'd give it a while before deciding to completely cut off a friendship over it.

     It is possible that the card is still in her husband's suit pocket or something. My cousin was extremely embarrassed when they found a card in her H's suit almost a year after someone's wedding. She would've given it then but the couple was already separated.

    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • SG5506SG5506 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker

    I had the same thing happen to me.  A few of them were people who I was pretty close to at the time.  I kind of got annoyed and then backed away from some of them.  I would have at least liked a card.  They were the ones giving the most problems about not deciding about whether or not to take a guest.  I also had quote a few people who put in like $25 or something....the dinners alone were $100 pp. 

     One of the people acknowledged that they didn't get me anything-said they would get me a bottle of wine....then I caught them giving someone else a gift at another wedding (a few months later)!! uh! 

  • Ha! So, I just re-read my post and realized it was extremely unhelpful and more of just a vent! Sorry! So, in response to your question, I have since seen a few of the non-gift givers. I thought it would be awkward, but it wasn't. You somehow just forget about it and move on. So, I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it. I am sure that in time, it will not be on your mind as much. It is what it is...

     

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