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So I haven't been around much..
but I wanted to stop in and say hi.Hi everyone!
I've been laying low a bit in part because I've been in such a funk lately.
The one year anniversary of my sister's death just hit me really hard. So much worse than I expected. I miss her so much and watching P grow and knowing she's missing it (and of course everything else) just really sucks and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.
We also packed up all the baby things for storage P has outgrown that we were hoping to use soon for baby #2. Don't get me wrong, I know how lucky we are having P and his pregnancy being so easy but being 39 1/2 and trying for 7 months without success for #2 is scary.
Packing up the things was good (the house looks so much cleaner!) but it kinda made my funk even worse.
My Dr. "thinks" he knows what is wrong now and I will start on Clomid as soon as I get my period so wish us luck! Keep those legs crossed for baby #2.
Also I've taken a break from photography and have loved every second of it. Since I haven't been editing I haven't been on the computer as much. It's like I have a life again and I have so much more time to spend with P and on myself.
I've been going back and forth for a while now but I've deiced to stop doing photography as a business after I finish with the shoots I have booked for this year. I waited 37 years to become a mom and I am I'm missing out on too much to do photography.
Maybe it's is something I will re-visit when the kids are grown but for now I'm at peace with my choice and will only be doing photography for pleasure. I feel like a great weight has been lifted and I can't wait to have all my free time back (and fill it with baby #2).
So anyway I didn't mean to write a novel. I'm really looking forward to the GTG and seeing (and meeting) everyone. I've been following everyone post here sorry I haven't been commenting.
Oh, and on a really sucky sucky day I logged on to see the news about Kim's twins and it was just what I needed to make my sucky day a bit better (but in my heart I knew it was twins already). I'm tempted to say I'm feeling pink 'cause I love me some girls but I'm really feeling blue.
On one more thing (sorry) - I thought for a while there I might have PCOS (I don't) and on a really bad day one of the wonderful IE ladies here talked me down from the "no carbohydrates" ledge.
She really was so sweet and she helped me get through a really bad day and even laugh a little. I'm not sure if she wants to share her private health info so I'm not naming names but I 
her.
Even though I don't have PCOS (thank god) we will remain low carb sisters at heart and I will never eat Bok Choy again without thinking of her. ;0)
Re: So I haven't been around much..
You know I'm here for ya!
Amy!! Glad to see you around!
I'm sorry to hear about the funk, been there done that. I know your sister is watching out for you and little P, its not easy losing someone and she'll always be with you but the old cliche time heals all is pretty true. Although when I lost someone very close to me 7 yrs ago, I hated when people told me that so I'm not sure that helps at all.
I will miss seeing your pics but I think P will be happy to have his momma around more
. Its not easy trying to have a life and holding down a full time job and a business but I have a feeling you wont regret the decision 
***sending baby dust and crossing my legs for much success with baby #2**
Oh, Amy. I'm so sorry that you've been in a funk. But with all the things in your life hitting at once, it's no wonder. ((Hugs)) I really hope you feel better soon.
I will see you at the gtg. Hey...maybe I'll even remember your dress and wrap! I've only had it a year.
Sorry about the funk- its so tough- especially when you're TTC. I have PCOS and have been TTC for 3.5 years now. The carb limitation really sucks (I'm a carboholic, lol), but hopefully with that sacrifice a baby might just happen!
Even though you don't have PCOS- no matter what causes TTTC it is never easy and I am sending lots of ~*~*~BABY DUST~*~*~ your way
Congrats on your decision to give up the photography business- although I'm sure it wasn't an easy choice, it sounds like the right choice and might just help pull you out of that funk too
Awwww.... being a mom is tough enough, let the pictures go for now. Sounds like a good decison for you!
Infertility sucks, secondary or otherwise. Hang in there! #2 just may be around the corner! GL with Clomid, made me NUTTY and thinned my lining, yuck! Repronex injecs were the answer, hope you don't need needles! But I know that you can handle it!
Enjoy P as much as possible, and remember that your sister is always with you, even if not physically!
LOVE!!!!
I'm glad you popped in. ?I was wondering about you. (((hugs)))
I'll miss your photos, but I'm glad you are at peace with the decision to stop doing it as a business. ?But hey! that means more pics of P from you
?
Crossing everything for baby #2! ?GL.?
?
Amy! I've missed you!!
I'm so sorry you been in a funk! I've been there...believe me! I just know your sister is watching over you and seeing P grow up in such a wonderful, loving family.
I'm glad you don't have PCOS and you're now working with your doctor (oh yeah, and G too
) on baby #2. I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way!! I'm sure it will happen for you!
I'm so excited you're coming to the GTG! It's going to be so much fun!
Hugs!!
Thanks are we going to get to meet J?
I know and I love ya for it!
It does help..and it doesn't you know? But I appreciate it all the same.
Funny thing is my sister would come down here an kick my a** for being so sad if she could.
I will see you at the gtg. Hey...maybe I'll even remember your dress and wrap! I've only had it a year.
Has it been a year? Dang
We will get to meet miss Mary right???
Sister I so admire you! I was gonna give up the carbs if I had too for a baby but it;s HARD. I'm like a 90% carb 10% protein kinda girl.
Your gonna make such a great mama. I can't wait to celebrate your BFP with you. I am so gonna do the happy dance!
Repronex injecs were the answer, hope you don't need needles! But I know that you can handle it!
Oooo I'm gonna write this one down just in case I need it. Thanks for the best wishes and Kennedy is breathtaking. Congrats mama.
Amers, I'm always here for you and David is always willing to provide you with some comic relief!
Love ya both more than I love carbs and that's saying a lot!
But hey! that means more pics of P from you
I figured out I took 7000 + pics of P and my family in a year! Now I will have time to do something with them. Love the pics of you and the family in Hawaii.
Amy! I've missed you!!
I've missed you too Lori and my Sarah. Taking pics of her was the pleasure part. Trust me.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes. I'm so gonna get out of this funk.I promise.
Can't wait for the GTG!
LOL! Seriously--- I was an all bread all pasta with some chicken from time to time kinda girl, lol! Now its a LOT of grilled chicken, some brown rice and veggies for dinners--- its all about the spices, lol!
I can't wait for that baby- I think God is just making me wait for the "right" time- so the only thing saving me is knowing that it isn't always in my time!
Glad you don't have to deal with it- eat some carbs for me will ya?!
Seriously though- its awesome that you're going for #2- so sorry you're having troubles... but it will be so exciting when it happens! More ~*~*~Baby Dust*~*~* for you 
Well it will be a year by then. Well maybe not. It was in September that I picked it up.
Yeah...I will be bringing Mary to the gtg.
Amy!! Thank you so much for sharing!! Wow you are going through a lot. I totally understand your decision to take a break from photography for a while. I can't imagine a better reason.
I'm sorry about the anniverary of your sister's death. I can't even imagine how hard that must be.
I really hope baby #2 will come along real soon. I was diagnosed with PCOS a few months ago, and it's been so hard to stay positive cycle after cycle, so I understand. Hang in there!
If you ever need to vent or let it all hang out, you know we're here to offer support!!
Aw Amy I've been thinking about you! I'm so sorry all this stuff is going on at once. I'm very happy to hear that you're getting more quality time in with the men in your life. Keeping fingers, toes, eyes, etc crossed for baby #2!! Though, isn't keeping legs crossed counterproductive?
I
you!
I've missed you so!
Even though you may not think it, you've been so strong. Good for you, thinking of your family first & quitting photography. P deserves to have his mama around more than not. Especially since baby #2 will be coming soon! I'm sure the stress of everything going on around you is definitely putting a strain on TTC. (((((Baby Dust)))))
Even though your sisters anniversary death will never get easy, I hope in time you can find peace.
Hi, Amy! I had emailed you before I read your post. I am sure the decision about giving up on doing pro photography has been tough, but I feel you are making the right choice. As they always say, these are the most important years in your child's life, and P will benefit greatly on you being there. I think you are very strong for making that choice. Photography will always be there, and the other ladies and I will still need a great photographer like you a few years from now.
I am glad to hear you do not have PCOS. That is great news. Also, I am praying that with the Clomid, you will soon have a bun in the oven.
I understand the grief on losing your sister. I, too have lost a family member, and it is painful. All I can say is she in a better place now, and I am sure she is watching over you and little P.
You know where to find me if you wanna talk... yes, that's right: FT.
Hugs to you. I am glad you made a decision you are at peace with. And I have no doubt in my mind that baby #2 will be coming soon. I am sorry you are struggling. I know how hard it is, but it will be worth it, I promise.
xoxo
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Yup. I will bringing both my tornados. I just know Isabel is going to love all over P. She loves the boys
Hi Amy,
I'm glad you stopped by and I'm glad you'll be at the gtg.I can't wait to see my future son-in-law again!
From someone who lost the most important person in her life, I can tell you, the pain never goes away. September 26 will mark 4 years that my mom passed away. It gets easier to do day to day stuff, but the heartache is always there, especially when I think about how R will never know her. All we can do is hope that our kids appreciate and enjoy hearing stories about our loved ones.
GL with your TTC journey. I know it will happen!
Amy! I swear I didn't read this post when I texted you. I missed you! I can't wait to see you. I've got a countdown to P's bday going.
I'm here for you if you ever need anything.
you tons.
Thank you all again so much. I seriously appreciate all the love and support.
I'm super later here, but it's good to hear from you Amy.
I'm glad to hear that you are taking some steps in the right direction for baby #2! I'm Praying that you're able to conceive quickly. I definitely know how heartbreaking it can be to be disappointed month after month. Secondary IF hurts as much as primary and don't let anyone make you think otherwise. Just because you already have one child does not mean you can't hurt over not being successful!
I was actually thinking about you not too long ago. Funny story actually...when I was at the BB I saw G walk by and started to tell the people I was with that I "knew" him and then realized it would be totally awkward to explain how so I just poked DH and whispered "that's that nestie's husband."