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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our church won't baptise DD ! (vent)
I called the church this morning to get the date for DD's Baptism in September. the receptionist politely told me that if we aren't "registered" members of the church then we can't have DD baptised there!
I don't get it!!! I admit that ever since we had kids, DH and I haven't attended church on a regular basis( we go about once ever 6 weeks or so), but I was baptized at this church 39 yrs ago and DS was also Baptized there 3 years ago...what's the problem?
So now we have drop off a written registration form requesting/begging that they make us members and then we will have to meet with the priest before they will even book Lexi 's Baptism.
Re: Our church won't baptise DD ! (vent)
That's crazy. stuff like that pisses me off, actually. I'm so glad I met my officiant for my wedding, because he did Annora's baptism at my house, just like I wanted, in a very laid back setting. It was perfect for us since dh isn't religious at all.
It really bugs me that some churches are so difficult to deal with. Do they want to protect your child's soul or not? How elitist.
I understand the Church on this one. The point of being baptized is to raise your child in the ways of the Church. If you aren't registered members then, in the eyes of the Church, you aren't serious about your commitment to teaching your child the ways of the Bible.. which also include going to mass every Sunday.
I'm not saying I agree with this or think this is right.. but this is what the church is looking for.
I agree with this. Now, I'm not overly religious, and not even Catholic (DH is Catholic, and DD was baptized Catholic). DH doesn't go to church as often as he would like to or he should. But it wasn't an issue at all getting her baptized.
I do understand the theory, but when it comes down to it HOW CAN YOU TURN DOWN THE BAPTISM OF A CHILD! Seriously. Would they prefer that the child just grow up to be completely a heathen (okay, I am dramatizing, but you get my point)
The whole needing to be registered makes sense to me too (or at least I've always known it to be standard practice). I think you need to be registered for all sacraments, I know we did to get married in the church!
I wonder why it wasn't an issue earlier though if your son was baptized there too... that's what I find odd about this all!
Good luck getting things sorted out Betty!
The reason i was given by the receptionist is that there are so many new people moving into Alberta righ tnow that they can't accomodate all weddings, baptisms, etc, unless you are a registered member. I guess that is their way of weeding people out. I just don't think it is right especially since they can go back and check their records to see that we are members and were probably formally registered when DS was Baptised.
Well, baptisms are part of my job description (have a half dozen coming up in the next few weeks.
And I, too, understand what the church is saying in a way.
We break it down a little different than the RCs... We have active <'registered'> members (there all the time and involved), inactive <'registered'> members (people that were once active then seem to drop off the face of the earth), adherents (people who are there all the time, involved and are considering baptism and/or membership.) Then there are more casual adherents (sounds like your situation?)
Baptism is a big deal to Christians of all faith traditions/denominations. It displays one's commitment to Christ and the church. And if a church practices infant baptism, the parents need to be fully committed on the child's behalf. But also, as important as baptism is, it loses it's meaning if a person/family doesn't participate in the life of the church and other sacraments (or ordinances as other traditions call them). And if I remember correctly (I used to be Catholic) is it not considered a sin to be missing church so regularly? (Not saying I agree with this, but I do believe it's RC doctrine/dogma.) So perhaps this is their way of getting people to get back on the straight and narrow -- attending Mass and confession? Then they get to enjoy the grace of the sacraments?
I don't know. Talk to your priest about it at that meeting. He'll do a better job at explaining things than a lapsed Catholic turned atheist turned Baptist pastor such as myself.
Maybe it's also God's way of telling you he misses you guys coming over to his place every week!
Hope it all works out. Let us know what happens.
Great reply, Morocco! (Of course, goes with the territory, right?)
From a slightly different perspective, as a member of the congregation, I'm uncomfortable when a family parachutes in (not saying this is what *you* are doing, since it is your church) to have a baby baptised and then is never seen again. In the baptism as performed in our church, the congregation also makes promises to help the child in his/her faith development. How can we sincerely do that if we never see the child again?
Morocco - I totally agree with what you've said and I'm sure that they are trying to get people more inolved in their faith. Unfortunately many Christians( especially RC's ) tend to consider themselves Christians but never practice it.
Maybe this whole situtation is our own fault b/c we only attend Mass but never take the initiative to get to know many people there or join their groups?
My family is *full* of "sprinkler Catholics". They get water sprinkled on them as babies, rice as newlyweds, and dirt --- well, we all know when that comes in. :P It doesn't sound like you guys are that type.
It also sounds like you have a lot of history at this particular parish. Is it because you truly love it, or is it just because its the one you grew up in?
Have you considered visiting another parish? Maybe there is another one close by that you'll find more inspiring and friendlier -- hence you'll want to be there and get more involved. Or maybe the other churches will have the opposite effect, and have you longing for your home church.
Anyway, you want your baby baptised. You'll feel like you're doing it with only the best of intentions if you do make a commitment to get involved at this parish or another.
I see what church can do for people each and every day. It can be very very good. But like anything, you get what you give. It's worth taking the steps to enjoy the fullness your faith has to offer.
(Geez, can you tell I'm a preacher? :P I'll step away from the pulpit now. lol.)
DH and I heard about the ?Registered? rule from some friends so we went last weekend and registered last week at our local church?.they shouldn?t have a problem, I?m giving them 8-9 months notice! lol
We were given the option of using envelopes but we didn?t take the bait.
Envelopes are an easy way for them to track how often you attend. I think simply greeting the Pastor after mass every once in a while will get him to recognize us and that?ll be good enough!
I must admit we don?t go every Sunday but it?s not that we stay at home and veg-out when we don?t go - it?s only if we actually have previous plans which has been a very often occurrence this year! I tried to tell DH that they have earlier mass and even Saturday evening but nope?.he?s lazy.
I hope everything works out in the end Betty. Worse case scenario look for another Church [one run by Franciscans] they?re much more accommodating and don?t turn people away due to the ?silly rules?.
GL!
P.S. *~* FrauDrA *~*
Are Baptisms performed during a regular mass in your church? Is that how the congregation is also involved?
I know in the Baptisms I?ve been to it?s only the parents, Godparents and family that attend and it varied from 23 babies [a full church] being Baptized to only 1 [where 1 pew wasn?t full] and it?s not a regular mass, it?s just after the mass a gospel is given from the Priest and then on to the B.ceremony and pictures and done. 15/40 min [depending on the number of babies]
Well, we're Protestant (actually, I am, but my husband was raised Catholic and now attends my church; his mother has been hugely involved in the ecumenical movement), so we don't have a 'mass'. And Baptisms are conducted during the service. And pictures don't have a specific slot in the service, we just stood with the minister afterwards for a couple of photos.
The only time I've ever been to a 'free-standing' Baptism was when our nephew was Baptised in an RC church.
All_Planned - We are taking the envelope option b/c we've always just donated freely without wanting a tax receipt but if that is what they want from us then fine, we might as well get a bonus out of the deal.
At our RC church, all of the Baptisms are done immediately after Sunday mass. Having a private ceremony is not an option anymore. That is what we wanted but were told that they don't do them anymore b/c they usually have 30 baptisms going on every month at this church. So after Mass they hold a small ceremony where all church goers are welcome to watch. Then The priest will stand for a few minutes to do memory photos.
I hope you are able to get things worked out. We didn;t have a problem with DD, because although we don;t go to church every week, my Grandparents are (were) huge members of the church, and my parents and DH and I were married there, and I was also baptized there.
Also, the congregation is fairly old, and so baptisms are not very frequent. Ruari's was the first in over a year. The old people LOVE baptisms...they'd be heartbroken to find out that people were being turned away (we are Anglican). Needless to say, Ruari's baptism was quite the event at church (it was done during the service)
I'm sorry that you are having such a problem. My mother had the same problem when she went to have my middle sister baptized. It was at the same church that my parents were married and I was baptized at. The Minister gave my mother a piece of his mind and told her she was going to straight to hell for not coming to church every week. Needless to say that she found another congregation (we're United) and that is the church that she has attended for the last 28 years. It was also the church that I was married at.
I hear your story alot when it comes to the RC faith. Do I agree with people only visiting their church when it comes to baptisms and weddings, no (JMO). But if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't want a church refusing to baptize my child because I hadn't attended a worship service every week either.
Maybe you don't attend worship every week because this parish isn't the right parish for you, and finding a new one would help? Maybe you just don't feel comfortable at that church, or you may have other reasons. I know I have my reasons why I don't attend church every Sunday like I once did.
I hope you get this sorted out soon.
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