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I was not a believer...
in the CIO method for a while there. I supported other moms when they were giving it a try at home but thought "man, this isn't for me."
Well.... after seeing DD's pediatrician, and after analyzing her habits, we had to make a choice - sleep with her in our bed (and thus continuing to hurt my neck and back because we don't have a large enough bed to accomodate her comfortably for all of us), or let her learn that her bed is for her sleep time. We decided to give it a little try, no more than 40 minutes of CIO - just because we didn't love the idea.
Can I just say, I'm a true believer now? Not only did it work, it worked very quickly. The first night, I went in to rub her tummy 2 times (at 5 minute intervals), and by 15 minutes, she was asleep. Then when she woke 3 hours later, I watched her on the monitor, she cried for less than a minute and then was out.
Then, at nap time, when she woke too early (was still cranky), I tried it again, and got her to sleep longer. OMG....
Last night - she slept the whole night, and didn't cry at all.
I am in awe. YAY DD!
Re: I was not a believer...
It's the Cry It Out method. DD is a pretty anxious kid (I have ZERO idea where she gets that from....
), so I thought letting her cry might set her into a ridiclous panic and that she would be worse off...
There are a few theories on how to CIO (google Dr. Ferber), but I just had a conversation with my pediatrician and she told me to try it this way.
- make sure you can tell the difference between hunger cry and frustration cry (which was easy for us, as she doesn't nurse at night anymore)
- get them into a predictable bed time routine (which we have since she was about 2 months)
- get them to fall asleep on their own, in their own bed. No more rocking, patting, shushing, etc. (I used the Lull A Baby Sleep Plan book for this a few months ago for naps and night time. Worked fabulously).
- when they wake at night, let them cry for a minute or so and see if they soothe themselves (DD's a thumbsucker so she does this). If they cannot console themselves, go in, rub their tummy, tell them they are okay, give them a kiss, or whatever, but DO NOT PICK THEM UP. (this is what upset DD). Don't spend more than 30 seconds in there, and then leave.
- let them cry for 5 minutes. If they haven't soothed themselves, go back in after the 5 min, and repeat the whole reassurance for 30 sec or less and leave.
- repeat until they soothe themselves to sleep.
The pediatrician says most babies are self-soothed within an hour or so, but not to let it go longer than 3 hours (I was like WHAT?! I have a problem with 20 minutes)...
Luckily, DD was soothed and asleep within 15 minutes the first night and after that, smooth sailing. I think it was because she already had the falling asleep on her own, mastered to begin with. She was used to me or DH coming in when she woke in the middle of the night (pedi says everyone rouses 5 times in their night sleep), and was used to us rocking her to sleep... then she got used to being dragged into our bed when she fought being put back down in her crib. She LOVED our bed, but with my scoliosis and poor DH trying to sleep on the edge of the bed (we only have a queen, it's not that big), it wasn't helping us at all, and it wasn't teaching her to be more independent at night. After all, we do want to TTC#2 in the next 2 years and then we'd have 2 babes in our bed? no way. We couldn't even handle one in our bed - my neck is already killing me!
Anyhoooo everyone finds something that works well for them. It's for some families and some families hate the idea. I hated the idea, but gave it a shot out of desperation and it totally worked.
Yay Danica! (Not to say I told you so, but... LOL!) I'm jealous, Annora JUSt dropped her night feeding - two nights in a row now without any feedings! Sleeping through the night!! WHOOHOO!
Great for you and for Dani! I'm really happy you tried this method. I'm a firm believer in it and I think you actually do your child a disservice when you don't teach them how to fall asleep on their own.
Nat I'm so glad that you've found a way to get some sleep at night!
Our answered prayer, Emilie Helen
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