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Ettiquette Question
A friend asked me for help wording this and I'm at a loss, so could use some suggestions.
But so you get the full picture, I need to give you background. She's an only child, but has a HUGE extended family. It's her parents' 40th anniversary and she's giving them a trip to PEI, NS, NFLD, NB.
Her extended family is putting pressure on her to host some sort of event so they can all celebrate. Given that she'd be looking at about 100 people, it's really not in the budget.
She's decided to take her parents for dinner and extend the invitation (she'll will be paying for a separate dining room. But she can not "host" the dinner and if her aunt and uncles want to join in, they are welcome, but she will not be buying dinner.
How does she go about wording this? I think her plan was to send an evite.
Re: Ettiquette Question
Hmmm, that's tricky, I really don't have many ideas on how to word that without it sounding kinda tacky.. Maybe she could have some really close relatives of hers spread the word that each guest will be responsible for their own bill.
Is it possible for her to get a prix fixe menu from the restaurant - maybe with only 3 or 4 choices? That way she could attach the menu and the cost for each item to the invitation.
I would think that if she attached the regular menu, people may not "get it" that they would have to pay for themselves.
I would call the aunt/uncle who are pressuring me and straight up tell them, "hey I am sending them on this really great trip, I can't host a party, but am excited to do one at 50 years. ?I am going to take them for dinner at XYZ, you are welcome to come but I won't be able to pay for all of us." ?Family should understand that, it's honest and direct. ?Then, if they want to make it a party, they could offer, or just come and pay their own way.
?
I like this idea.
I would probably just put it in the invite so that there is no confusion. I don't think she should have to explain to the whole group why she's not paying for it.
She can tell that to the ppl who are pressuring her - but there's no reason to make a big deal of it to the group.
The set menu is a good idea though - might make it easier on the restaurant as well as everyone else all round too.
The prix fixe is a good idea.
Could she say that she's taking them to whatever resto for dinner and that the family is welcome to join them and in order to help keep the cost reasonable for everyone coming they have put together a prix fixe menu?
Would the family get the hint? And if not, I would just then call the aunt/uncles and let them know that they are welcome to join at their cost..
I'm not good at this suff but here's my idea:
John & Janes 40th Anniversary
We (her kids or friend + DH) are gifting our parent with a trip to PEI, NS, NFLD, NB!!! To honor the whole family there will be a dinner gathering on date & time at restaurant?s name. (Add website if they have one) The restaurant has a full menu available and drinks are also available at the restaurant?s bar. (I got this line off a website) You are all more then welcome to attend!! The restaurant accepts Visa, MC, Debit and Cash (a ATM is available onsite)
I?m not sure how formal she wants it to be considering it?s an e-invite. But this should be crystal clear! - I hope!!