wedding ettiqute question

mrs.tc · August 2009

my husband was sent a wedding invitation for one of his church buddies and i wasn't on the invite. is this strange?

i thought if the couple you are inviting is married you always invite the spouse but if they are single or dating you don't necessarily have to write "and guest"

if it makes a difference i've never met the couple

also, would your husband go to a wedding without you?

and while i'm asking, is it rude for my husband to ask if i am invited? he wants to ask, but i think it puts them on the spot

NicoleOSU · August 2009

That's a toughie. Do they know he is married? If they do, I would have to assume you aren't invited. If they don't, maybe he should ask. It does put them on the spot, but I know if it were me and I didn't realize someone was married, I'd rather them ask me about it instead of assuming I was rude and didn't invite them.

samk213 · August 2009

If they both know he is married, then that's a little strange but I would have my DH ask if I'm invited. I've never heard of someone only inviting one part of a married couple. If your DH is only really friends with the guy it's possible the groom didn't let his fiance know he's married, maybe he only put your DH's name on the list, maybe someone else wrote out the invitations and inadvertently left your name off? I think there's lots of different scenarios and I would just ask if you're invited. And, no, DH wouldn't go to a wedding if I'm not invited, but I don't see that issue ever arising for us.

lynn-michelle · August 2009

I had a friend who knew Nathan and didn't invite him to her wedding. We were engaged at the time and our wedding was only a few months away. I sent her a card from "Nathan & Lynn" and didn't attend. I don't know if she did it on purpose or not, but I didn't want to go either way.

swimrbride · August 2009

Is it possible the bride didn't know your name and her FI didn't think to ask your DH? I had a friend of mine do that once (before we were married but we lived together) and when I e-mailed and asked her about it she said she couldn't remember his name but he was definitely invited. Maybe just have him send a quick e-mail or text asking..because it is weird to not invite both parts of a married couple.

.happy.as.just.kim. · August 2009

If it was on purpose, then yes, that is VERY bad etiquette and rude. But surely it is one of the other scenarios- they didn't know you were married or something like that. And no, my DH wouldn't go w/o me. I think he'd ask if I was invited (to which they will surely say yes- I can't imagine someone saying "no, your wife isn't invited") and we'd either go together, or skip it and just send a gift.

future mrs. macklin · August 2009

Well we just got married in April 09 and being that we were on a BUDGET, we invited only 60 people. My FRIENDS understood that being that they are married (never met spouse) we could not accommodate them and their spouse and invite our families too. We didn't do it to hurt anyones feelings.........if they didn't want to come we understood. But we didn't have any complaints about that issue. I think he should ask so there want be any foul feelings. And it wouldn't bother me if I wasn't invited to a wedding and my DH was invited, especially if I don't know them.

Mrs.MauiBride24 · August 2009

If he's not a close enough friend that you've never even met (does he know DH is married?), then I wouldn't plan on attending and then it doesn't matter if you were invited or not.

(Which is weird IMO if you intentionally weren't. If their budget was too tight to include a spouse, then they shouldn't have invited your DH either IMHO.)

sars1202 · August 2009

Mrs.MauiBride24:
If their budget was too tight to include a spouse, then they shouldn't have invited your DH either IMHO.

this exactly!

Have DH try to casually ask him if you are invited. I don't think JBB would go to a wedding without me unless it was like one of his very, very good friends. But then I would be invited, too. JBB would look for any excuse not to go to a wedding!

mrs.tc · August 2009

the verdict: mr.tc asked and I was not invited. I am so glad I thought to look at the invitation or else I would have been that guy who invited myself to someone's wedding

the groom to be said they invited 200 people, their space only holds 150 and they haven't and anyone decline yet

Gipper'sGirl · August 2009

mrs.tc:

the verdict: mr.tc asked and I was not invited. I am so glad I thought to look at the invitation or else I would have been that guy who invited myself to someone's wedding

the groom to be said they invited 200 people, their space only holds 150 and they haven't and anyone decline yet

Wow. That is tacky IMO.

Is mr.tc going to give them their first declined invitation?

mrs.tc · August 2009

yeah, he figures if they don't have the money for us both to go it would probably be better if neither of us went

lynn-michelle · August 2009

I think that's a good decision.

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