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DH Mini-Vent
DH's car broke down last friday. We found out that it has a cracked head gasket and it's a very costly repair. It's a '97 Grand AM...what's the point in putting money into it. Our good friends also have a beater-car 2000 Ford Taurus but someone already offerend to buy it (Private sale) when we spoke to them.
We then decided together that we'd get a Caravan, we like camping and would need the cargo space. The V6 engine could pull the trailer and great for me & baby. We looked at 6 of them yesterday and we were set on one + it had a DVD!
DH calls me this morning:
- I spoke with P (friend) and the person is taking too long so he'll sell it to us for the same price (no deals). We have to use our savings (MY saved bonus'-baby $)
* umm..what? 1st off why the same price, great friend you have! 2nd that $ was to be used for buying the baby stuff we want + fixing the bathroom 3rd what happened to the van?
- I don't want more payments when you on mat. leave
* so you decided that getting another beater would be a good idea? What happens if it dies in 2 months - then what? no saving + having to get payments anyways!
- OK FINE, next time I wont tell you anything, I'll just show up at home with a car
* well you didn't tell me anything, you called me and told me the already made decision. You didn't call me and ask what I thought so...WHY did you call me?
I'm angry on so many levels, his friend has told us a number of times that the lowest he would sell the car for was $1000 - so why the f.u.c.k. are we paying $1500??? We were going furniture shopping this Saturday, now we can't buy anything because the money * I * [by not shopping for me, not getting my hair/nails done, not eating out while DH got to use 'his' allowance] saved is going towards the car and it's another junk car which is the reason why friend is selling it in the first place!!!
Grrrrr...
Re: DH Mini-Vent
oh man. ?I am frustrated for you. ??
If it's your saved money - put your foot down. Not gonna happen. And then maybe try to find a compromise between a new car and then beater.
That's frustrating and would not fly well with me
I agree. There has to be something in between. I understand not wanting a car payment right now, but there is something to be said for not putting your savings into something that could potentially break down in a few months leaving you in the same position.
Neither of you is right or wrong, this needs to be a discussion to figure out which is best for the both of you.
I believe in the words of Jen... I'll throat punch him!
lol
Put your foot down... it wouldnt fly with me either.. this needs to be discussed; as it isnt his money he is using!
Everytime I think about it I get angry again!
We for the most part have shared finances but for 'fun' stuff we each have an allowance - for nails, car washing (he loves doing this) eating out for lunch instead of bringing from home. But for going to dinner together or movies that's a joint decision. Non-the-less that was my savings and if I want to blow it all on a spa day, I can! DH for the most part is good for things like this but he gets all stressed out and then gets s.t.u.p.i.d.....
The carzy part was that we weren't looking for a "NEW" car just new to us, like a 2004/2005.
I know that we have to talk about it when he gets home so I've been preparing myself and trying not to get worked up. Screaming isn't going to help - I know.
Thanks - It's nice knowing I'm not over reacting...
If it is your fun money they you need to put your foot down. But you indicated that you were going to use the money for the baby (unless I read that wrong) so perhaps he has stopped viewing it as your play money and money for both of you to use?
I would suggest sitting down as soon as possible and having an overall discussion on finances. Who is paying for what, where is money coming from to pay for things, emergency fund, mat leave salary, baby items etc. This way at least you will be on the same page.
I can see how he might get confused.
The reason I was going to use it for "baby stuff" is [for example] the stroller that I want is expensive and it's not something that I need to have but I WANT it...lol So to be fair I'd just buy it myself.
Thanks for you advice...we're talking as soon as her gets home in 10 min...