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etiquette question : day after brunch

The wedding is next Friday and the bride was going to do a brunch at her house. Her grandfather has a hard time walking and she lives upstairs without close parking,

She can do a brunch at a local restaurant at $X per head and she doesn't want to spring the expense on everyone who is coming and at the same time doesn't really have the money to cover it.  She wants suggestions as to what to do. Here are some options:

1) have the brunch at her place w/o grandpa

2) have the brunch at the restaurant and pay out of pocket & suck it up

3) have brunch at the restuarant and tell guests to pay themselves

4) do a brunch at the place that her mom is staying (house rental) but it's in a confusing part of town with little parking.

 

After the brunch, there are other plans so we can't do both.

 

Re: etiquette question : day after brunch

  • 4

    If she has someone drop off the grandpa and help him walk up the steps can he make it?

  • I have to say #4 as well. #1 & #3 just don't seem like options and #2 seems irresponsible. 
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  • None of her bridesmaids or anyone has a house she can use?
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  • None of us are from Seattle - only the bride & her fiance.
  • Grandpa is 93 and it's apparently a lot of stairs.
  • #4 I definitely don't think she should be paying out of pocket
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  • I vote #4 if you can't find a better location for free somewhere else. Does her apartment have a clubhouse? Is their a public park with a gazebo or something she could use?

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  • I don't see what the problem is with having guests pay for themselves.  A morning after brunch isn't mandatory or expected.  It's a nice thing to do to get guests together the next morning but it also doesn't have to be extravagant, a simple continental breakfast of  coffee, juice, pastries, etc. I'm sure would be appreciated.  If she's got money in her budget and wants to host the brunch, that's very thoughtful, but I wouldn't feel bad one bit for not doing so.  I would let guests know that some people will be getting together for brunch at xyz restaurant and they are welcome to join.  Also, maybe they need to pick another restaurant that doesn't have a set fee per person to help with the expense.  As a last resort, I'd try to organize something where the mom is staying.
  • My vote is to have the brunch at her house and don't have grandpa come.  He is 93, he will understand IMO.  Then a few days later she could take him out to lunch just the two of them if she wants.

  • imageCarlaAndJames:

    I vote #4 if you can't find a better location for free somewhere else. Does her apartment have a clubhouse? Is their a public park with a gazebo or something she could use?


    She lives in a duplex.

  • I would do number 3 but that is me. I don't see why people would be bothered to pay for their brunch after the wedding.
  • So here's the update. We are having a picnic a few blocks from her house and she is catering it, like she was going to do at her house without the additional cost of X per person like the restaurant would charge. I hope it doesn't rain, apparently it's been doing that a lot lately :)
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