May 2007 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Open Letter Thursday
It's been a while since we did this one, so let 'em rip, ladies!!
Re: Open Letter Thursday
Dear party-goers (or party-skipper-outters):
We put "Regrets Only" on the invitations because no one every acknowledged the RSVP. So don't be a bunch of assholes and do one of the following:
I realize there are sometimes extenuating circumstances, and we like to think we?re fairly reasonable people. We don?t expect you to come and spend your entire weekend, or even your entire day, with us. But if you wanted the party, make an effort to show up at the very least. Or let us know prior to 2 days before.
(This is really irking me because I planned a menu based on the fact that we?d be having ~40-50 people, AT LEAST. Now.. with an expected MAYBE 25, I could have made a MUCH NICER, more ?dinner party? menu than a ?summer picnic?.)
Thank you, and kiss off.
Your Party Hostess
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Dear hair stylist recommended by my (new) fantastic aesthetician:
I specifically requested YOU based on the good recommendation of the aesthetician I?ve come to ADORE. She said you or two other girls did a good job with her hair (we have similar hair). I realize it wasn?t your fault that she?s super speedy and had me ready for our appointment 15 minutes early. But when you do finally come get me to cut my hair, at least put some effort into conversation.
Also, it?s not a very smart idea to say to someone ?Your hair has a? very interesting? texture? in that tone. You might as well have just said what you were thinking ?Your hair is fvcking weird!? It?s fine like a blonde. I know that. But I?m a brunette, so there?s an absolute LOAD of it up there. That doesn?t make it ?very interesting?? it makes it fine but thick.
Something to consider for future clients: when someone says they like the general shape of the cut they have, DON?T try and ramp it up, particularly when I say ?I don?t really blow dry my hair? and ?I VERY RARELY use a round brush because it will add the volume for an hour and then fall flat? I?ve learned that my hair doesn?t like volume?. Giving me a ?style? that is reminiscent of an early Jackie O, complete with 10-15 minutes of blow-drying and round-brushing. NOT INTERESTED. And on a 26 year old, it added a good 10-20 years to my appearance. So thank you very much, b!tch.
I also don?t appreciate your subtle eye rolls while you did my hair. You?re lucky you got any f?ing tip and thank god I challenged you on how much to cut off because it?ll grow back QUICKLY and I can go to someone with talent. And less superiority. (The haircut was so-so; the styling she did was HORRIBLE. I didn?t have much time to play with it this morning, but it doesn?t look TERRIBLE, but it sure looks kind of boring and a waste of a good $35.)
Good f?ing luck in life with your attitude and lack of talent.
Not Returning To You EVER Customer
Dear Man Who Hung Up On Me:
I was only calling you out of courtesy. You shouldn't hang up on me until you hear what I have to say.
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Dear Chi:
How I love you. I wish I had bought you sooner.
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Dear Schwans Man:
PLEASE get in the stuffed french toast. I
it.
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Dear Me:
Get to work.
Obviously I don't have much to complain about today....
Dear neighbors:
WhoTF let their big dog take a dump in my yard and then didn't pick it up? It's clearly not from my dog since the pile is just about as big as he is. You better hope I don't catch you!!!
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Dear boss:
If you ask me to do something right away I'll do it. But I can't do it if you continue to talk to me and keep telling me how important it is to have it done right away. And if you do walk away give me at least a minute to complete the task before coming back to see if it's done yet. Have I ever let you down yet? No!
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Dear company:
I don't want to do your stupid mid-year review. What's the point. I get excellent reviews every year and I'm praised for always going above and beyond...yet you still don't give me a raise or a bonus. And you're shutting down my department. So if I submit the review with my thoughts blank don't be upset. This is your warning!
Dear Sh*tty Work Computer:
I already feel like I am going crazy as it is and then you decide to once again shut down on me in the middle of my nesting! Give me a fvcking break! You just crashed 2 weeks ago and I've had you back a week and spent countless hours on you trying to get you back to your old self and you let the monitor go out? Why do you have to be so mean to me? Now I am stuck here looking at a green hued screen because I had to hook up my old monitor. I swear if you go down one more time I am taking you home with me and using you as target pratice with my pistol! I'm not picking this time. Don't mess with me anymore!
Sincerely, YOUR WORST ENEMY!!!
Dear OB Office:
I had my blood drawn at 8am Tuesday morning. It is now 10am Thursday morning and still no results yet. Last month I took it at the same time and had my results by noon the next day! I'm a little anxious to know if these fertility medicines are working or not. I'm giving you till noon today and then I am calling. Please don't make me call. I don't want to be the crazy lady that harasses you. I just want to know what's going on.
Sincerely, Overly Anxious Patient
Oooh,.. this was from yesterday.
"Dear Sister:
First of all, learn to type at least basically, please. Your FB statuses are driving me nuts with horrific typos, no capitalization or punctuation, and sentence fragments that make no sense whatsoever.
Secondly, and most angering, DO NOT post BS like "Potty training was so much easier with J (her now 17 year old son) than with E (her 3 year old daughter)." I F'ING POTTY TRAINING J!! You were working 14-16 hour days the summer he was potty trained, I lived with you to watch him, and had to figure out how to potty train him with no guidance from you.
So OF COURSE it's easier to have someone else potty train your child.
Also, WTF are you thinking giving your 17 year old son Monster drinks??? Just one more example of your STELLAR parenting skills.
Paula"
Dear body,
Please cooperate and allow this baby to keep growing. Im doing everything i can to not move. I hate getting up even to go take a shower or go to the bathroom but those things i have to do. Also can you quit making my left leg numb i know its from not getting enough circulation but i cant do much about that right now. Please just work with me and this baby.
Sincerely -someone who just wants to be healthy!
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Dear professor,
I really need to take your stupid course that you decided to have proctored online. I emailed you before school started to let you know that im on bedrest which is not my fault by the way. Couldnt you at least try and work with a student who has difficult circumstances instead of telling them to take it another semester!
Sincerely,
a worried pregnant woman on bedrest who has no control of her own body!
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Dear family and some friends,
Thank you for your prayers and thoughts we need them but one thing i dont need to hear over and over again is how it must be nice to be on bedrest for at least 3 weeks. Ive already done one week and its not fun! I can imagine 2 more weeks of it and then who knows i may have to be on it even longer so dont tell me it must be nice to have a vacation on the couch/bed at home.
Sincerely,
Frustrated and bored
Dear AICPA,
I hate you and your stupid grading policies. You state that my score is NOT dependent upon other test takers. If that is the case, why do I have to wait an extra month to receive my score? Who cares if I got a new test, does it really matter? I just want to know if I passed or if I need to start studying again.
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Dear David,
Please let mommy work. She needs to get her hours in.
Also, please stop opening up every DVD container, taking the dvd out and hiding them through out the house.
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Dear Co-workers who overuse !,
I really don't understand why we need to add ! to every other sentance. I don't need you to say Thanks! especially after I just give you work. It annoys me and I don't know why.
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Dear BIL,
Open your eyes and realize that we are trying to point out things that you make not think about. Realize that the potential profit you think you may get may actually not happen. Stop letting greed cloud your judgement.
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Dear Buyer:
We were supposed to close on the warehouse on the 8th. This was going to be the deal that changed things dramatically for our company. Now you call us less than 2 weeks away and say you can't get all your funding and want to renegotiate price and need an answer right away! If it wasn't a big difference okay fine, but 50K is a big difference for us. Now you leave us stuck between a rock and a hard place because you are now offering us less and the appraisal came back higher than the contract price. If we weren't in financial hard times that be great we just sit and wait for another offer, but we've got to sell this place now not later. Thanks to that phone call my day is now ruined and I'm still waiting on that other phone call that now I'm thinking I probably don't want either. I need a hole to climb in and hide.
Sincerely, Depressed and Hopeless
Dear AICPA,
I don't do taxes. I've never (really) done taxes and I never plan on doing taxes. And I NEVER plan on practicing law. WHY do I need to take a test on this stuff? Can't we take a few of my extra points from audit (which I do daily) and apply them to tax/law (which - see above - I never do)? And just for good measure, please rethink the scoring procedures. See Melanie's letter.
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Dear nail lady that doesn't speak English,
I think my finger may fall off because of you now. You removed my fingertip with your overzealous nail "filing" abilities and I have been in pain since Sunday. If this goes the way I'm afraid it will I'll be wishing I understood law so I wouldn't have to hire someone when I sue your ass.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
Val, I have the same complaint as Audit. I would have loved to take 2 points from my Reg score and applied it to the 73 I received last summer.
Elizabeth, I'm sorry you guys have to make that decision. You don't have to answer this but some questions to think about: What are the carrying costs of holding onto the warehouse for another year? I.e. real estate taxes, utilities, mortgage interest? If it's more than the difference b/w the appraisal and his asking price, I'd sell it to him.
Mel, we are basically in a position where we have to sell in my opinion. We rent half the space out to other tenants and that space is empty. We have some debts that are being paid with the sale of the building that we have no other way to pay. If we kept the building we would be screwed. If we sell the building for what they want we are being screwed.
Dear Chi:
How I love you. I wish I had bought you sooner
LOL, I love mine too. It changed my life.
I still can't figure out why I hadn't bought one sooner. My old straightening iron was HORRIBLE compared to my Chi! I was actually talking to the Chi this morning and telling it how much I loved it and MH thought I had lost my mind...it went something like this.
Me: I love you. You are SO good. I can't believe I didn't get you sooner.
MH: Aww, thanks babe...wait...are you talking to your straightening iron?
Me: Uh...no...of course not...
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
I do not have a Chi either, Melanie. I replaced my straightener a few months ago with the same one I had (I loved it and it was 1/4-1/3 of a Chi's price!) Except they changed the design and now I hate it.
So throw me on the "I need a Chi" bandwagon!
The cheaper flat irons just do not compare. Get a CHI stat!
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
Oh, I have another one.
Dear Becker,
Eff you for being so expensive....but good. I wish you came with some SO consolation package or something. The hubs is going to die when I tell him that I'm buying you again.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
Dear body,
I know that for the last 10 years or so I have been taking a pill that has told you not to ovulate, well, now I am not taking that pill which means you should go back to doing what you are supposed to do - ovulate monthly. Just letting you know in case you didn't know, mmkay, thanks.
Love, Jal
That's what I've heard...I need more than 30 days though. I'm going to plan on just paying for it though and hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised.
Mike's so out of it sometimes though...he just checked the cc online and asked me what the $255 charge to "CPA Exam Services" was. Hmmm...I don't know. Maybe I bought myself some diamonds the other day.
.: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.
Dear Friends:
Please stop asking MH and I when we are going to have kids. We don't have kids. We are not expecting a child in the next 9 months. When we get pregnant, you will know after the first trimester. I understand YOU have had kids for the past 5, 9, 12+ years but we are not you.
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Dear employees:
Just do your job. And stop making excuses when you mess up. It makes it worse.
Dear Greg's boss:
STOP protecting your favorite in this work district and start playing fairly. Every time you screw with the territories, guys end up PISSED. And now you're talking about screwing with Greg's territory... which will lead to him directly leaving the company. I will ENSURE THAT because if you continue to cut a little here and a little there, we will go broke in winter when Greg's route is slow (very touristy area).
You're a d*ck, always have been, and always will be a brown-noser.
Take the golf clubs you play with every day instead of actually working and shove them ... well, you know where.
Kiss off, dumba$$.
Paula