Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
anyone feel the same?
I know I haven't been around much since I started to work. I miss you guys. This is an entry I wrote on my live journal today. I thought I would share it with you ladies and see what you have to say.
Thanks for reading.
Life goes. it goes on and on. and for some people new things actually happen while for others they get stuck in a rut.
Friday was our 6month anniversary of wedded bliss. WHOO! We celebrated by attending an engineering conference, actually it was here in the capital district, but we spent Thurs and Fri night at the hotel anyway! It was fun!
Today, we helped Spree and Amanda move. Spree is Rich's best friend and he was the best man in our wedding. Amanda is girlfriend of 3 or 4 years(longer than Rich and I have been together!) Spree is about to be 40 (in 3 weeks!!) and Amanda just turned 25, and moved from her parent's house to move with Spree to the new place (a gorgeous brownstone built in 1847!) Their ages really mean nothing, they are an amazing couple and I am so happy for them (as are many of our mutual friends.)
2 weeks ago, we attended the wedding of other friends of ours. Ed and Theresa! They are so great together.
A few weeks before that, we helped another friend move in with her fiance.
I am assuming you can see a pattern here. The people in our circle of friends are all growing up! moving in together, marrying, etc....
All of this is great! Except that it has me feeling a way that I can't put into a single word. I'm so happy with Rich, and our life is great, its just boring? I mean, I go to a job that I like, but don't really LOVE. I enjoy it (aside from one particular co-worker who just bitches all day long). I come home from work to us being busy with plans out of the house more often than not ( I cant tell you the last time I actually cooked in the kitchen!)
I just feel stuck in a rut.
Helping our friends move has me itching even more for us to get a house. I've never really had a place of MY OWN! I moved from my parent's place to dorms, to NYC where I lived in apartments with roommates, same in Ottawa, to here with Rich where its his place and I really haven't been able to make it mine. I look at houses online a lot.
wanting a house is a small part of a bigger desire I have. I want a baby. that shouldn't come as a shock to anyone who knows me.
I've wanted to be a mom since I was a kid. Obviously, I know logically that we want to be settled. We have things we want to do before we can fit a kid into our lives. A house, is one of those things! I drool over kitchens with granite counter tops and 6 burner stoves. I want so much to come home to a cozy house, where there is a comfy couch I can stretch out on without having to shove aside piles of clutter. I want a dining room table I can eat at. I want a kitchen I can bake bread in. I want all of those things I grew up with. A place for everything and everything in its place.
I just feel that clock ticking. I'm 28. When my mom was 28 she had 2 six year olds and a seven year old. I don't know how she did it, but she did. When I was in high school I used to talk to my stepmom about how I would be 21 and out of college and married with a baby! HA! Now, I know with medical technology and life the way it is, its not hard to be in your 30s and even 40s having your first kid, but it doesn't change the fact that I melt when I see a baby. I work with 2 year olds, and I know they are a handful, but they are so adorable when they throw their little arms around you and tell you that they love you!
I see so many of my friends having kids too. And I wonder how my life got to be so not the way I wanted it to turn out. its not bad, in fact it is very good. If you had asked me as a teenager, or even in college, where I saw myself in the future, married to a New Yorker would not have been my answer, but here I am...
I am blessed to have an amazing husband, and to have really really great friends that are always there for each other! I just want more. I know in my heart that it will all fall into place when the time is right, and I know I need to just enjoy today and the journey of getting there, while at the same time hoping it gets here quickly!!!
*sigh*
thanks for reading. its a lot of rambling, but that's whats been on my mind lately!
Re: anyone feel the same?
I can completely relate in the aspect of wanting a home that I can call my own. I moved out of my moms when I was 18. But I lived in an apartment with two of my sisters. Then we moved to a town house for another year and then I moved about 45 minutes away from my hometown to where Chris is from. We have lived in the same "Mobile Mansion" aka trailer. for the last 4 years. I strongly dislike it. It's two bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms... It's so small. It's a singlewide. There is no room for anything. I can completely relate to clutter. We have crap everywhere, but there is just NO place to put anything. Right now as I write this i'm in the middle of cleaning out our second bedroom. Chris put a wire shelf up for me! Now I can get some of the winter clothes out of my closet and put them on the new shelf.
I also look at houses. Chris & I want to live near the beach. We narrowed it down to a specific area on the west coast of FL. Yesterday I was looking at houses & lots over there. Today we were in Lowe's and we were talking about building our own house and how we would want to decorate it. I have my whole house decorated in Nautical/Fishing stuff in my head. OH! It's going to be lovely! I can't wait!
I can't say that I relate on wanting kids. In fact that is the last thing on my mind. I am content with it being just Chris & I right now....well and our two puppies!
Maybe you and Rich just have to much going on during the week. Are there things that you could cut out for a while? I don't know what all you do, but if you are never home you must be very busy! We are the complete opposite. We are kind of homebodies I guess. We both work during the day at jobs we hate- but bc we are going to try and buy/build a house next year we feel as if we should stay at our jobs so that it will look good when we try to get a loan. Chris comes home after work, sometimes he goes and does a little side work. I go over to a friends and we ride bikes for about 45 minutes. Then I come home and cook dinner, EVERY night.
Have you talked with Rich about your feelings? Do you have a goal set for when you want to be out of where you are living now and into a home that you can call your own? Our goal is next summer!
as far as being able to afford a house, we just can't right now. we sign a yearly lease that is up on our 1 yr anniversary (feb 28). I wouldn't mind moving then if it worked out. Otherwise we would sign a lease again and as long as we give 90 days notice we can break the lease. Rich has lived in this apt for 15 years. its a 2 br with only 1 bathroom. He is a pack rat and just has way too much stuff for this place. aside from some clothes and necessities, most of my stuff is in storage.
We started looking at open houses in May, and then our weekends just got so busy so we really haven't been looking that seriously, and we don't really know what we could really afford, but we get emails a couple times a week with houses that fit what we are looking for. If we found something perfect we would probably try to get it sometime this year, since there is the $8000 tax credit
as far as what we do during the week, wednesdays we have trivia, thursdays he goes bowling, the past few weeks we've both had meetings or work shops on mondays and tuesdays, and then most weekends we have something going on (weddings, helping friends move, visiting MIL etc)
Jenny, it might seem like I wouldn't understand in my current position but, I really do.
Here I am at nearly 35 just married and expecting my first child. When I was in college, I was certain I would be married soon after graduation (I was engaged at the time and ended up breaking it off for a number of issues) and that I would have been finished having kids before I was 30 years old. Life just works in funny ways...and thank God I waited because this is the life that was meant for me all along, old age and all ;-)
The best advice I can offer you is to hold tight and really try to enjoy every moment of your life right now - you'll never get this time back, this blissful newlywed just you and your husband taking on the rest of the world time. You have a wonderful husband and the home ownership and children are sure to follow. Waiting is absolutely hard but, truly living in the moment can make it much more bearable. {{{HUGS}}}
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II
Thanks guys! I feel much better today. I know that the future will hold great things, I just sometimes wish it would happen sooner.
Hi Ladies - I'm a bit behind on this, but I just wanted to say that I (and I think, everyone) can relate to life feeling the "same" a lot. We tend to be creatures of habit with steady jobs, relationships and schedules. Most of us want and crave this security, but it's not as exciting as a fast-paced life of new people, places and experiences. aka - college!
I agree with Jen, you must relish and be thankful for your current happiness. We all feel stuck in a rut sometimes, but things do change and move forward. In the meantime, make sure you have some current goals and challenges so you can track progress on something (even if it's not towards a house and a baby just yet!)
I absolutely am however...we are both also fully cognizant of what our choice to have children so quickly has meant. We were newlyweds for a miniscule blip in time - a month and half. Now, and for the rest of our lives, we are parents and will never again just be a couple. We made that decision knowingly and are very happy with our present but, it is something I wanted to bring up.
The longing to move forward, to have the next step is so very human and natural. But, it's also a wonderful thing when you can stop, be still and relish the moment and time you are in for a little while. While there are many amazing and exciting things to come, TODAY is a gift.
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II