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Curious about my DH's actions
Hey there everyone!
I was just wondering if anyone out there could help me understand my DH's actions. If anyone can relate to this or give me any suggestions, I'd love to hear from you.
My DH and I have been married for 2 years now and we have been taking the steps we need to start TTC. And while my DH and I have had several "baby" talks, I still get confused by his actions. I'm always thinking into the future, especially when it comes to TTC and getting pregnant. I would love for things to happen by Christmas of this year and that way, our bundle of joy would arrive sometime next Summer/Fall, but my DH constantly talks about plans for next year. About how we should take this trip and that trip and sometimes I have to "remind" him and say, "Well, I maybe pregnant by then hunny."
These actions sometimes upset me b/c I start to wonder if he ever truly thinks about having a child or planning for our future. When we've had our "talks" before, he seems very excited to have a child and become a father. He's even been noticebly upset when 'things' haven't happened yet.
I'm just wondering if any of you can relate to this. Whether your DH is/was like this. Or, am I over-thinking things (like I normally do) and just realize that it's a "man" thing.
Re: Curious about my DH's actions
Congrats on your decision to TTC! I think it is difficult for most men to wrap their minds around the whole pregnancy thing until it actually happens. With us, when I got pregnant, DH was excited, but it wasn't until he actually felt the baby move and saw my belly growing that it became "real" to him. With women, it is our bodies and we are much more in tune to the process and changes, therefore, it is on our minds more. So, I do think it is a man thing.
If he wants to plan a trip- go for it! A co-worker of mine and his wife just spent a month back-packing in Europe- she is in the beginning of her second tri.
Good luck with TTC!!!
As someone who has been TTC since November 2007 (we are nearing the 2 year mark - yikes!), you have to live your life. I went off BCP then and we purposely did not plan a "big" vacation because all I kept doing was thinking "oh I will be ___ months along by that point." We postponed/put off quite a few things before realizing that this was not going to be an easy journey and by putting things off that was more stressful to our marriage. Now we take things one cycle at a time.
For example, we just did a wine weekend with 4 other couples. This has been in the works since April. I went into planning the whole weekend with a clear head...if I was pregnant, great!...if I wasn't, great! Either way was a win for me...a baby for us or a chance to drink and hang out with our friends. If I had been pregnant, I still would have gone on the trip. Don't let life pass you by while you are sitting on the sidelines. You can miss so much by doing that...been there, done that!
I agree with the pp. For us, we are so in tune to our bodies, that I think we tend to take a different perspective on things. Not saying that our hubbies aren't right there with us, but I think they approach it from a different angle and therefore, don't tend to make other decisions based on the "what if". For us, it took almost a year, and looking back, while we always had the thought of "we could be pregnant then" we didn't change our lifestyle because of it. And I'm really glad we did! When you do get pregnant, it changes your focus and priorities. While that year of TTC felt long and trying at times, I'm so glad that we still did so much! It was such a great year spet together. You won't have time to do the things you want to do as much when the baby comes, so take advantage of it!
We also traveled, just last month (actually planned the trip after getting pregnant). We took a cruise to the Bahamas and Grand Turk, so it doesn't always have to change your plans!
GL and congrats on TTC!