I haven't been around this week because my cousin, the one with brain cancer, passed away last Saturday just after midnight. He was able to be in his brothers home and was surrounded by friends and family. I wasn't able to be there, but have heard all sorts of details...part of me wishes I could've been there, part of me is glad I wasn't (it would've been hard to see).
We've already passed the three things I was scared of most: him passing, seeing the family (was worried how they were doing), and the wake (knew it would be intense and that there would be lots of people from the community and HS). None of it has been as bad as I'd imagined. His passing, though I miss him...there is solace in knowing he's not struggling anymore. No. More. Cancer. His family, are all having a hard time...but are doing better than I'd figured. They are all struggling, but are getting by. Our extended family is very close, and we've all been pulling together. They've also been taking me in and have helped me out too. I love having such a close-knit family:). The wake, there were probably about 500 people there. People from throughout my life. Ones that babysat this cousin and I as pre-schoolers. HS friends of ours (he was a year ahead of me) I hadn't seen in almost 15 yrs. There were lots of hugs and lots of smiles actually...sounds weird, but sometimes things like this bring people back together. It was really hard to walk in there and see him. I gasped and walked away for a second...couldn't look through most of the wake...and then didn't want to leave once I realized I'd never see him again. Its an image I'll never forget, but one I needed to see as I was still looking for him everytime a car pulled up to my grams.
Been keeping busy with my 4 yr old neice...who just dressed her dog up like a princess, LOL...and the rest of the family. Been spending a lot of time with my aunt (the cousins mom). DH flies up tomorrow, turns out he was able to get off time for the burial this weekend but not the wake.
Sorry about the sad update. Thought people might be interested.

Re: Update on my cousin (sad)
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.
TTC since Sept. 2011
DX: MFI
IUI#1 8/2012: BFN
IUI#2 9/2012: BFN
IUI#3 10/2012: BFN
IVF#1 (2 embryos transferred) 1/2013: BFN
IVF#2 (2 embryos transferred) 5/2013: BFP!!! EDD 1/24/14
Beta 1 (5/17) - 66.8 Beta 2 (5/21) - 341 Beta 3 (5/27) - 2771
1st u/s 6/7 - measuring right on track at 7 weeks with 144 bpm!
1/20/14 - Our sweet girl joined our family!
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