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copycat friend!! (long)
do you have a friend who copies practically everything you do?? i have a friend who does and it's really getting on my nerves and i just have to vent. my ex bff and i went to HS together. we weren't close back in HS but became really good friends after college. she moved to DC because of me. she didn't know anybody here. i helped her start out, introduced her to my friends, had her stay with me, etc. long story short, we had a falling out over the years. a lot of things have happened over the years that made me lose my trust. i have caught her lie to me many times. she was one of my BMs during my wedding although we were not that close anymore. i promised her she will be one of my BMs when i get married and i thought at one point she really was my bf so i still included her in the wedding. well, she spoiled the surprise (long story) in the bridal shower that my other friends and ILs gave to me. i got really upset with her and she didn't even apologize. i didn't want it to get to me so i looked past that but vowed that things will never be the same and that i couldn't trust her anymore. anyway, i have noticed especially lately that she copies almost everything i do, the way i talk, what i wear, places i go!! ugh! there were A LOT of instances that i can list down where she copied what i did. when we traveled to LA for reunion, she has the exact same shawl that i have. i saw her a few weeks after that and she has the exact same wedge shoes that i wore during the reunion. on FB, o have noticed she's been copying the way i talk especially my expressions! when i went to Hawaii, she text messaged me that she's going to Hawaii too. i've seen pics of her wearing earrings that are similar to mine and last time i saw her she's using a similar Coach purse that i used when we were in LA (i know her long enough to know she doesn't have any Coach purses)! now, she just got back from Hawaii and posted her photos. ok, she had the same rainbow shots i have, ate at the same places we ate and she's wearing the same "Little Miss Aloha" shirt that i bought (i posted a pic on FB where i was wearing it and i am SURE she saw it). OMG!!! i'm so freakin annoyed. DH knows about all the things she's copied. DH would normally tell me if im overreacting but he knows and has seen all the things she's copied and even he is saying she's a psycho! maybe i should be flattered that she copies me but it's really getting into my nerves!! am i wrong to feel this way?? ugh!!
Re: copycat friend!! (long)
I don't think you're wrong to feel the way you do - that would drive me insane!!
I had a friend in college who used to act kind of like that. If I tried on a dress and it was too small for me (she was about a size smaller), she would ask me to hand it over the wall, try it on and then buy it. She did it several times before I realized what she was doing. Finally, it got to the point where I would try on hideous things, then tell her "Oh, I love it, but it's just barely too small, darn it." just so she'd buy it and wear it around.
lol i should do that!! actually, last time i saw ex bff, she asked me where i go shopping. i said (well aware that she'll copy where i shop), "umm i don't go shopping anymore" HA! she didn't ask again after that :-P.
Uhm. How strange. And HOW IRRITATING!
Is there any way that you could just take her off your friends list? I think that if anything, its pretty sad that she doesn't have her own identity. I have a friend who will do that with certain things at times, but not enough to make it get to me.
Sounds like she's pretty excessive. I would start making things up..."I shop here..." when you really don't...or "I looooove going here..." haha. Pick some weird places. You should see if she copies the lead.
hahaha - is the girl me (since i asked where you bought your "Little Miss Aloha" shirt)?? jk! well i think she must really idolize you if she were to get a lot of the same things you have and wants to have similar experiences (i.e. trip to Hawaii visiting exact places you have). either that or she just has the same style that you have and it just so happens that she has similar stuff. if it is really annoying, maybe you can de-friend her on facebook so she doesn't see any glimpses in your life that you'd rather her not see. or put her on certain "lists" so that she doesn't see certain photos.
This is so funny to me. The only friend who copies me is my best friend... and I copy her... and we do it without even seeing each other! Of course, your situation is not funny. I just laugh b/c it reminded me of the numerous times that my best friend (who lives 2,500 miles away) and I show up for vacation with the exact same thing. We've been friends since 7th grade. I moved away in 1995. Since the move, we only see each other once or twice a year. I can't tell you how much people laugh at us. We've shown up at a pool party in the exact same bikini and funky sunglasses. Next year, we met at a beach house in Florida. I picked up a cheap bikini at Target in the Seattle area. Guess who has one just like it? hahaha, we have the same dresses, shirts, purses... not purchased together... not even purchased in the same state... we just have the same taste.
Is there any chance that your friend just likes the same things and has a similar style? I hope so... if not, that's really creepy.
Newlyweds since 2007
That is both annoying and sorta freaky! Wasn't there some scary movie where someone did something like this? so weird!
Definitely unfriend her on FB or change the settings for how much of your page she can see. Don't need a friend like that.
Susan - actually, i think she saw your comment where you asked me where i got the shirt. i replied to you and said "at a store on N.S.". i didn't spell out N.S. coz (1) i know you know what N.S. is and (2) at the back of my mind i know she's spying on where i buy my clothes. well, lo and behold she got the exact same shirt. i called her out on FB and commented on her photo. i said "hey, you got the same shirt that i got"..she just replied with a smiley face!
honestly, i don't think she has the same style as me because i will see her with my stuff only AFTER she has seen me wear it or will do stuff only AFTER i did. i tell you this has happened numerous times!! i am not a selfish friend and would gladly share stuff with my girlfriends but this is different. one of my ex roomie who became her roomie after i moved out said she used to see her stalk my Friendster profile (back in the days lol) all the time! after my Hawaii wedding she has told my friends she also wants to have a wedding like mine and wanna have it in Hawaii!! argh! ok, i know anybody can get married in Hawaii but really, after all the things that she has copies, it's freakin annoying. one i forgot to say, she got a trainer AFTER i got a trainer. when she invited to me to her apartment, her couch and dining table are just like mine!! last time i saw she asked me where DH & I are going for vacation next year. i said "I dunno" because i know she will copy!
i have already limited her access on my FB so that she doesn't see my status updates but now, i may have to remove her access to my photos as well.
Nancy, i would have acknowledged if we have the same taste and wouldn't have a problem if a friend turned out to have the same stuff as mine. i would find it funny too. i would be happy to shop with a friend and have both of us get the same stuff. this is entirely different though. numerous times i have let it pass and have given her the benefit of the doubt numerous times. it came to a point where it's just too much. I know she doesn't have a similar style because she didn't use to have a style before she started copying me!! I am not mean or anything but really, she doesn't. DH has joked that she wants to me like me! i know i should be flattered but it came to the point that it's getting creepy and annoying. DH has joked that if i disappear one day, he knows who kidnapped me lol.
Nancy, i would have acknowledged if we have the same taste and wouldn't have a problem if a friend turned out to have the same stuff as mine. i would find it funny too. i would be happy to shop with a friend and have both of us get the same stuff. this is entirely different though. numerous times i have let it pass and have given her the benefit of the doubt numerous times. it came to a point where it's just too much. I know she doesn't have a similar style because she didn't use to have a style before she started copying me!! I am not mean or anything but really, she doesn't. DH has joked that she wants to me like me! i know i should be flattered but it came to the point that it's getting creepy and annoying. DH has joked that if i disappear one day, he knows who kidnapped me lol.
I had a friend like that in high school. It annoyed me to no end back then. my mom always said that girl just lacked self confidence and told me to cut her some slack.
So if it was a situation like that I would think it's annoying but not a big deal, but this girl sounds NUTS! I would definitely try to limit the time I spent with her and adjust FB.