Why??

HokieLaw · September 2009

Honest question because I don't get it. Why do people find it so empowering when a woman keeps her maiden name instead of taking her husband's? A facebook friend posted about what an inspiration her friend who was 30 when she got married was because she kept her last name. I don't find it inspiring. I find it to be a personal choice (and one that I did not make because I wanted to have MH's name and I wanted our future kids to have the same last name as me AND MH). It was even a PITA for me to change my name professionally but I still did it. I just don't understand why people think it's such a) a bad thing to change your name and b) an amazingly wonderful and inspiring thing to KEEP your maiden name.

Duffinger · September 2009

I don't really have an answer for you...but I have another question. I don't understand why some guys get bent out of shape when a woman decides to keep her maiden name. I honestly didn't care what I did with my name. I liked my maiden name and Mike's last name is okay...but when I said I wasn't really sure what I was doing w/my name he got weird about it. Not mad or upset, just weird. My friend's DH flipped out when she announced she was going to keep her maiden name and I'm surprised they went through w/the wedding (for that one reason...he was pissed). Lo and behold, she changed her name a few months later...he wouldn't even let her hyphenate.

HokieLaw · September 2009

Again, I agree Val...what's the big deal?

When I decided to change mine, my dad did ask if I would keep my maiden name as my middle name (which I did). Dad has no sons and his name is important to him.

Paula051907 · September 2009

HokieLaw:

Dad has no sons and his name is important to him.

I've always assumed it was something to do with family pride or professional reputation.

I really can't help you; I carried no family pride in my maiden name. I even kept my first husband's name after the divorce (thinking it'd be easier for people to spell/pronounce. Within 2 months, I found that to be not true and was ready to change it back to my maiden name! LOL)

Mrs.Graves51907 · September 2009

I could care less...it's personal choice. I would have it no other way than to change my name because of the tradition and having that feeling of being a complete family. It sucked to change it with my job and still sucks sometimes but I was willing to deal with it.

I don't like when feminism is the reason behind keeping your maiden name. I had a client who I will say is a b!tch and went on and on and on about how she kept her maiden name because she was a woman and proud of it. She had her own job and made her own money and now that she was married no one was going to make her change anything. I felt bad for her husband.

Paula051907 · September 2009

Mrs.Graves5*19*07:

I had a client who I will say is a b!tch and went on and on and on about how she kept her maiden name because she was a woman and proud of it. She had her own job and made her own money and now that she was married no one was going to make her change anything.

Here's where I would've said "And changing your name - whether to match your chosen, equally successful husband or to something other than that by your choice - would change the fact that you've got your own job, make your own money, and can take care of yourself?" LOL

GreysGirl · September 2009

I can't speak for anyone else but I changed my name because it was important to my husband, I want the same name as much future children and his name is a lot easier to spell, pronounce than my maiden lol.

I think sometimes it has to do with people's careers, if they have been a certain name for a long time they think it's easier. I think thats why my aunt did it. My cousin (her daughter) did it too, not sure why. I guess people have their reasons. I don't consider myself less independent because I changed my name though.

jalisni · September 2009

I think some women think of it as a feminist stance against society or something, which to me is taking it too far. It doesn't make you a stronger woman because you chose to keep your last name. I took MH"s last name because I love him and it is a tradition that I agree with and have no problem with.

Now, if his last name was "Weiner" or something bad like that I might think about keeping my last name. LOL

Paula051907 · September 2009

jalisni:

Now, if his last name was "Weiner" or something bad like that I might think about keeping my last name. LOL

I'd offer MH my maiden last name... and he'd like accept. LOL

HokieLaw · September 2009

jalisni:

I think some women think of it as a feminist stance against society or something, which to me is taking it too far. It doesn't make you a stronger woman because you chose to keep your last name. I took MH"s last name because I love him and it is a tradition that I agree with and have no problem with.

EXACTLY this! Why would that make you a stronger woman? Because you can say "I wouldn't take MH's last name"? That's hardly a great feminist stance.

jalisni:

Now, if his last name was "Weiner" or something bad like that I might think about keeping my last name. LOL

Um...I agree. I'd probably have MH change his name if that were the case.

Mrs.Graves51907 · September 2009

jalisni:

Now, if his last name was "Weiner" or something bad like that I might think about keeping my last name. LOL

This made me choke on my drink! I think Jen Weiner has a nice ring to it and if you had a little boy you could name him Junior Weiner!

blairsgirl · September 2009

I don't find it empowering, I just don't really pay attention to it. I view it as a personal choice. I did change my name (my maiden name is now my middle name). However, at work, I did keep my maiden name. I worked there before I was married and I felt it was easier for those I worked with. When I change companies, I will use my married name there.

Mrs.Graves51907 · September 2009

I will also say that those who use feminism as a reason are really cowards because they can't think of a better reason to keep their name. They give feminisim a bad name and make women sound stupid. True feminists gave us the right to vote and be equal. Those are the women I look up to for being proud of being a woman. Not some idiot who thinks that taking her husbands last name somehow makes her less of a woman. Last time I checked I haven't changed much since taking my husbands name, all woman parts are still in tact!

jalisni · September 2009

Mrs.Graves5*19*07:
jalisni:

Now, if his last name was "Weiner" or something bad like that I might think about keeping my last name. LOL

This made me choke on my drink! I think Jen Weiner has a nice ring to it and if you had a little boy you could name him Junior Weiner!

LOL!

Why??

Re: Why??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards