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weird, or just me?
The mother of of my co-workers is having surgery this week - I'm not sure what it's for exactly...something to do with her lungs, I think? Anyway, another coworker came around this afternoon asking everyone if they wanted to donate money to buy the mother flowers.
Now...I found this kind of weird. I'm sure the mother is a wonderful woman, and flowers are a sweet gesture. But the thing is - I don't know her. Hell, I don't even know the coworker that well. From what I can tell, the flower buying idea was drummed up by a group of 4 or 5 coworkers who are all close friends with the one whose mother is sick (thus both the coworker and the mother are in their social group). As far as I know, most people in the company are in the same place I am: not close to the coworker outside of work, and have never met the mother.
I guess I'm just not sure why they're asking EVERYONE for money - I would totally understand if they banded together and bought her some, but it seems strange to me to go around asking everyone else to buy flowers for a stranger.
So now that you've read all of that, tell me the truth: is it weird that they asked, or is it totally normal and I'm a cold hearted wench for not contributing (between a new house and babies, I have no money even if I didn't think it was weird lol)?
Re: weird, or just me?
I think it would be less weird if it was a co-worker getting the surgery, even if it was one that worked in a different department or section that you didn't have much contact with. Does everyone feel obligated to donate some money? I always hate asking people for anything, it makes me feel like a beggar and a nuisance. But sadly, if I was asked, I probably would just give a small amount because I'd feel obligated to. (But then again, I'm not buying a house AND pregnant with twins, lol.)
Oh yeah, I totally agree. I probably wouldn't have thought it was so strange if it was for an actual coworker. But a coworker's relative? It's just...odd to me.
I always feel obligated to contribute, just because I don't want to be THAT person. But luckily for me, I seldom carry cash of any denomination, which is a handy way of getting out of some things (it's bad I know - but Ben takes all my change to buy Coke, and anything else I just use a debit card for, so it is a legit excuse!).
It is very weird. I don't think it is right for them to ask... but, I'm like **lisawhocheatsandreadsahead** and would just give something to avoid it getting any weirder.
I'm very uncomfortable saying things to people... go with the flow. I avoid confronting people.
If you are comfortable, I think it is acceptable to say something to the effect of "I'm sorry, I realize that many of you know Mrs. Whatever, but I've never met her. I think it would be more appropriate if I got a card for Miss Coworker letting her know that she and her family are in my thoughts."
Newlyweds since 2007
ditto.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Oh I think its a very bold move to put people on the spot like that. I've never seen asking people for donations for any gift for a parent of one of the co-workers. Is this parent active at the job for some reason? Does everyone know her? Hmm........sorry I find that bizarre. At my last job, one of my close co-workers was in a terrible car accident so our group banded together to replace some of the things that were lost in her car i.e. MAC make-up, IPOD, her cell phone, her purse disappeared somehow, etc.....well that made its way around the office and before you know it, all the sales guys put their money into the pot and this girl was hooked up! That to me seems more appropriate.
I remember seeing lots of signs up in the break room from parents selling their kids stuff for school and what not. Or if someone was part of a charity group and wanted donations......but to put people on the spot is rude if you ask me. Infact, we weren't even allowed to do it at our work. I remember our HR saying it was against rules........who's rules, I don't know.
ooh, good tactic re buying the card! very nice.
and i just have to say...
babieS!! babies-with-an-s! squee!! how easily did that roll off your tongue? i like it!
That is strange, but I can say stuff like that happens at my work ALL the time - mostly because the place I work is really a small community in itself and everyone knows and/or is related to everyone. Still, they never put us on the spot, usually someone sends out an email (still kind of annoying, but really easy to delete and move on...) requesting leave time donations, invitation to a lunch fundraiser, etc, etc.
This. Is there a set amount, or are people just scrounging up change?
This. Is there a set amount, or are people just scrounging up change?
There's not a set amount, but a couple dollars (anywhere from $2-$5 is considered the norm).
Yep, add my vote to the weird camp. For them to get together, in the small group who knows co-worker well and her mum, is appropriate. Not the whole dept. or company or whatever.