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What is wrong with people?
I had 2 strange incidents at work talking to or overhearing people who... I just don't understand.
The first was a work friend that I go out to lunch with pretty often; I always thought she was nice and we've done some things outside of work. The other day we were in the elevator going back to the office. A guy gets off on the floor below us and says bye to her. I asked her who he is because it's sort of nice to connect names with faces, etc. - and she said, "His name is ___ ___. He started working for the city later than me, but he's already a ___ (job classification higher than her - he promoted faster than her). You know it's because he's gay."
At first I didn't hear the last sentence, and she repeated it, and I was just completely floored. WHAT??? How could I not have known that beneath her nice exterior laid craziness? At first I didn't even think her logic made sense, because people promote and have a chance to interview based on their test score for that classification. So I assumed he must have had a higher score than her, in which case her statement even made less sense. But I guess she meant she interviewed too, but she was passed over.... there is one gay man in the executive leadership here, and some gay men in the department that I know of, but WHAT??? WHAT??? What does that have to do with anything???
Then the same day I was in our small lunchroom, and 2 people were talking about how indigent/homeless people were now in one of their neighborhoods asking for money. It's sort of hard not to hear what they are talking about in there if you are in the same room. The one person said she gave some money to one guy who approached her, but when a woman approached her with her child in tow, she refused to give them anything. She said she was so indignant that this lady didn't use the resources available to her - welfare, etc. - because she has a kid, that she refused to give money to her. It just pissed her off so much that the mom wouldn't get what she could for her child, - that part I understand -
but to decide not to give them anything out of her indignation / as a punishment for what she believed the woman was doing wrong?? Her standards were so whack to me. Give money to a man, but not to a homeless child. HUH???
Am I totally off base here, aren't these WTF situations?
Re: What is wrong with people?
the first situation is obviously envy...she didn't get the job so now she's talking smack...super immature.
the second...to each their own. there are lots of resources available to people that they don't use. i'm a veteran and use many of the resources available to me...it pisses me off when a homeless person asks for help and use the 'veteran card.' i tell them to go to the va...lots of resources there...usually they'll just be quiet and most of the time they are not vets.
women and children do have tons of resources as well.
in hawaii, homelessness is pretty bad and there are shelters available but a lot of people refuse to use them because alcohol and drugs are not allowed. a sidewalk ordinance was in the news this morning because the city wants the homeless/or anyone for that matter to stop sleeping on the sidewalks. the aclu is all up in arms saying that it's unconstitutional....hmm, i pass by this guy everyday on my bike that sleeps on ala moana by the car dealerships, he always smells like piss and yesterday he had a huge pile of vomit next to him (all over the sidewalk)...so it's okay for a taxpayer to have to walk or ride by bike through that sh!t??
regarding your coworker, i have heard the reverse logic before...give money to a woman and not a man cuz the man can go to work.
Your co-worker is definitely not happy that she didn't get the promotion. It's probably easier for her to accept it by making up an excuse like the one she gave instead of admitting and accepting that maybe she just wasn't good enough. Was it wrong of her to say what she did? Sure it was. But I don't know, maybe that's her weird way of coping. Has she made other comments that might make you think that she might be homophobic?
I agree with PP - your co-worker sounds jealous and very unprofessional. I'm not sure I would completely write her off, but I would definitely watch myself around her b/c it's not a great idea to have a loose cannon friend at work, you know?
As for the other thing, I am in the camp of people that just don't give money at all, but I really don't care what other people do with their own money so it probably wouldn't even have stuck out to me.
No I haven't heard her say anything that might be homophobic... I actually don't think she's homophobic, now that I think about it more, I think she thinks it's like a new version of the "old boys club" kind of thing ... still think it's not true.
As for the homeless child thing, I think it just pulls my heartstrings and makes me so sad to see that, so I guess I would most likely give them money or get them food or something.
You know, when we drive out to hike Kaena Point, we see tons of makeshift tents on the beach where lots of homeless people live. In one particular spot, I always see kids playing and it makes me sad to see. I wonder if their parents have even tried to get into a shelter so that those kids can have a real roof over their heads and start going to school so that they can get an education. It's one thing to be single and homeless by choice but if you're responsible for a child, it's horrible to make that choice for them and force them to live the same life as you.
Ditto on the jealousy theory for the first one.
As for giving people money, I don't know. I just get so annoyed when people come up to me or my husband. It seems to happen to him ALL THE TIME. Actually some guy just asked me a couple weeks ago, while I was on a poker machine which had a lot of credit in it. But I just said no. It happens in casinos, in parking lots, gas stations...even when we were on vacation in Salt Lake City some guy came up to us on the street. Ugh! So now I NEVER give anyone anything. Especially since here in Vegas, I just assume they're going to use it to gamble or something.
I just don't trust people anymore I guess. Once, a woman drove up to us in a parking lot with her 3 kids and said she had no money to feed them because she wasn't going to get her welfare check for a few days. So B gave her $5 or something. I'd rather go to McDonald's and buy them food than give them money. But sometimes you offer that and then they don't want it. Hmm...