May 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

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Topic of the day

It's been a looooooooong time since we did this.  For anyone who wasn't around I used to post a topic of the day and ask people's opinions on it.  We would cover everything from sex, children, politics, etc.  My job and schedule have changed so I may not get one out every morning and I usually won't be here to respond, but I always thought they were fun so if people like it, I'll try to continue doing it. 

The only rule is no flaming.  This is a time and place for us to be able to respectfully discuss interesting topics.  I had to stop doing it because a couple of people were very disrespectful of anyone who disagreed with them and resorted to name calling.  If you do the disagreeing, remember to be respectful.  If you're disagreed with, remember that respectful disagreement is NOT flaming, rude, or an attack on you personally.  I know I learned a lot from people who had different opinions than I did because I just never thought to look at it from that perspective.  It didn't necessarily change MY opinion...it was just interesting to see theirs.  And with the rules re-stated...here's the topic:

I saw this article on The Nest home page: To Porn or Not To Porn.  So...what do you think?  Is porn something entertaining to watch/read?  Do you watch/read it?  Does your spouse?  Do you watch/read it together?  Is it something good?  Bad?  Share your thoughts. :)

Re: Topic of the day

  • I have no problems with porn.  We occasionally watch adult videos together when we're feeling a little naughty.  I don't think Dennis watches it without me, but I wouldn't care if he did on occasion.  If it was excessive, then it would be a problem.  I don't watch it without Dennis.  I think it can be a healthy thing to do together because I think most people enjoy being a little bit naughty every once in awhile, it can add a bit of spice. 
  • having a weight issue i am very uncomfortable with porn. i find it to be fake and something i could never live up to.  a tall super skinny body with double d's and can last for hours with no fore play... DH i'm sure watches it when i'm not around although if i could i'd remove his collection.  i know pathetic that i'm threatened by a movie.. but it's how i feel...
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  • I have no problem with it, either.  We don't buy/rent any movies, we just use free online sites (*ahem* tube8.com) if the mood strikes.  It's not that often, though.
  • I dont have a problem with it. Personally I believe that it is just a movie and as long as it stays as a fantacy then what's the harm? To me it is no different than if he were running it through his head on his own. He still can't touch them and I will reep the benefit. :) I agree with Andrea in that we tend to watch them together, but it is rare that we do; just not something we are into that often.

    My only complaint: I just wish the men would be hotter.

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  • We used to watch it together fairly often, but not any more, not for any particular reason we just don't.  I have no problem with porn as long as it remains in the fantasy realm.  Once a person expects that kind of activity in real life, there is a problem (I think there was a friends episode on that).  I know MH looks at magazines every once in a while and I don't mind.  A women's body by nature is sensual and beautiful and I'm glad that he appreciates that beauty!  And as Mrs. Jax said I get to reep the benefits when he's done!  
  • imageJenniferk08:
    having a weight issue i am very uncomfortable with porn. i find it to be fake and something i could never live up to.  a tall super skinny body with double d's and can last for hours with no fore play... DH i'm sure watches it when i'm not around although if i could i'd remove his collection.  i know pathetic that i'm threatened by a movie.. but it's how i feel...

    You took the words right out of my mouth. 

    TTC Babypants with low motility and low morphology since 6/2010.

    Trials & Adventures in Baby Making

    Stuck in counting limbo.

    SAIF always welcome!!

    Fortune from UnderwaterRhymes: A new outlook brightens your image and brings new friends.

    imageimage

  • My question is why do your weight issues play a role here? Your husbands did not marry them - they married you!!! I guess what I am saying is not all men care for those women. I know MH says if he can see bones (ribs/spine/etc) he is not attracted to that AT ALL. However he also doesnt enjoy women without curves. My husband proposed, married, and is going to have a child with me at size 18.
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  • imageMrsJax09:
    My question is why do your weight issues play a role here? Your husbands did not marry them - they married you!!! I guess what I am saying is not all men care for those women. I know MH says if he can see bones (ribs/spine/etc) he is not attracted to that AT ALL. However he also doesnt enjoy women without curves. My husband proposed, married, and is going to have a child with me at size 18.

    I agree - I'm a big girl and I have no problem with porn and no jealousy issues.  I don't see the women in porn as skinny or curvy - I just see people having sex...  Stick out tongue  DH is the same way.  He thinks the overly skinny women are gross-looking and so do I, but he thinks curvy ladies are sexy.  I think you're supposed to notice the sex more than the people, if you know what I mean.  heh 

    I also don't understand saying you'll "never live up to" the porn you watch...  IMO, porn is more of a method to turn you on, not something you have to mimmick or act-out (although, that can be something fun to do).

  • I know he married me, not them, but I think a lot of my issues on self esteem/weigh that I'm not happy with.  I wish I could see myself the way he sees me!  And I'm working towards changing things by better eating & working out and such.  Porn just isn't something I enjoy personally and if someone else likes it, great.  I just think that Jennifer summed it up how I would have :)
    TTC Babypants with low motility and low morphology since 6/2010.

    Trials & Adventures in Baby Making

    Stuck in counting limbo.

    SAIF always welcome!!

    Fortune from UnderwaterRhymes: A new outlook brightens your image and brings new friends.

    imageimage

  • I really have no problems with porn, it's not something I'm into, but I have no problem with anybody else watching it.  I don't think DH does, but if he did I wouldn't care.  We have a very healthy sex life so I don't really see the need.
  • I sort of think of porn like I do alcohol.  Having a glass of wine after a tough day at work to help relax?  Fine.  Having to drink to get through the day?  Problem.  I feel the same way about porn.  Watching a little when the mood strikes?  Fine.  Needing it to become aroused or excited?  Problem.  Everything in moderation.

     Personally, DH and I have never watched porn together.  It just isn't something that's come up as something either of us wants to do.  I have occasionally looked a little when DH is away for long stretches, but I honestly find most of it to be funnier than it is sexy.  DH doesn't watch it when he's away - he doesn't have access.  I'm not sure if he would if he could, but it wouldn't bother me.

     One thing I have learned from porn is that men have really different tastes.  While mainstream form does feature slender women with big boobs, there is porn featuring heavier women, women of different races, older women,  etc. etc. etc.  You never know what a guy's preference is going to be!

    Saving money while raising more kids than you bargained for! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • imageMuseumMaven:
      One thing I have learned from porn is that men have really different tastes.  While mainstream form does feature slender women with big boobs, there is porn featuring heavier women, women of different races, older women,  etc. etc. etc.  You never know what a guy's preference is going to be!

    So true.  Some friends and I used to wander through a video store's XXX section and crack each other up with the titles alone.  My two favorites were "Midgets on Wheels 5" (5!) and "F--- a Fatty Funtime".  True story.  There are a lot of guys out there into the BBW thing, the "cougar" thing, the BDSM world, etc.  And there's even cartoon porn, hentai, for fans of anime and truly bizarre fantasy stuff.  "No, giant alien monster, please don't impale me with your large phallic tentacles, over and over again!"

    For us, as long as I'm getting mine, H can watch what he wants.  If we're in a slump, I make it known that extra solo activities aren't appreciated until we're back up to speed.  And I like Laurel's alcohol analogy so much that I'm stealing it for future use.

    Married since September 2012
    TTC #1 since January 2013
  • i think when you are ok with your weight then it doesn't bother you. this week i'm visiting with my grandfather in Fl who just had a heart attack.. if i hear one more time that i should go out walking (in 90 degree temp) i'm going to scream. i know i gained weight, i realize i'm no longer a size 8, and yes i know i'm not getting any younger... so when i think about how super skinny those women are all i see are my own flaws.  not so perky boops, extra weight, abs that use to be able to do 300+ crunches a day, thighs that use to look cute in short skirts,... and having a size 2 sister doesn't make it any easier...now if these movies showed realistic women it might not bother me AS much...
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  • imageMuseumMaven:

    I sort of think of porn like I do alcohol.  Having a glass of wine after a tough day at work to help relax?  Fine.  Having to drink to get through the day?  Problem.  I feel the same way about porn.  Watching a little when the mood strikes?  Fine.  Needing it to become aroused or excited?  Problem.  Everything in moderation.

     

    Couldn't agree with this more. We don't watch porn very often together. I don't have a problem with it; it's just not our thing. If DH watches it, I don't really know about it but I don't mind if he does.

    Sure a lot of those ladies are incredibly skinny with even more incredibly fake boobs. But I agree with the other ladies - he loves me and loves my body. If/when he watches porn it makes him think of me, not that crazy fake lady on the screen or in a magazine.  

    Daisypath Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I very rarely watch porn but the DH does watch it. I have no problem with him watching it, it has never been an issue for me. I guess you could say he has his porn and I have my vibrator...so we are even!
  • I'm kind of surprised with the amount of people who are okay with porn or watch it! This isn't something I ever talked about with girlfriends, so I had no clue what the response would be.

    I, personally don't see the appeal of porn. I don't want to watch other people have sex...I just don't find it interesting, arousing or entertaining. Nude pictures are of no interest to me, either.

    While we were both in college, I walked in on H looking at porn pictures on the internet and was totally disgusted. I was 18 and totally uncomfortable with myself, sexuality and our sex life. Now, if he looked at it, I don't think it would bother me but I wouldn't like it either...if that makes sense.

    H and I have a great sex life without any outside influences so I don't see the need for it.

  • We don't watch it, mostly because it does not turn me on whatsoever.  I see porn mainly as a huge joke, which is probably due to the fact that my friends and I had "Porn & Pizza" nights where we went out and found the stupidest-sounding porns we could find ("Lord of the G-String" is one I can think of off the top of my head) and ate pizza and just cracked up.  I'm pretty sure DH doesn't watch it, and he has never asked to watch it together.  If he did, I would to make him happy, but it doesn't do anything for me.
  • imageMuseumMaven:

    I sort of think of porn like I do alcohol.  Having a glass of wine after a tough day at work to help relax?  Fine.  Having to drink to get through the day?  Problem.  I feel the same way about porn.  Watching a little when the mood strikes?  Fine.  Needing it to become aroused or excited?  Problem.  Everything in moderation.


    Excellent way of putting it--I totally agree! 
    DH and I have watched together maybe 3 or 4 times.  Most of the time it seems so fake (and it seems like the guys are NEVER attractive!) that it doesn't really do it for me, but whatever, I don't mind it as something different every now and then and it serves it's purpose as our way of spicing things up every now and then.  As far as I know, DH doesn't watch porn when I'm not around, but if he did it wouldn't bother me--in moderation of course!
  • I am also pretty surprised that most people are ok with porn.  I prefer to turn my husband on myself and would feel extremely awkward watching porn with him or knowing that he watched it without me.  I also know that especially for guys, the porn watching can get out of hand extremely fast.  I know that the way you practice getting aroused is the way you train your body to be aroused.  That is just something me and DH don't want to get into.
  • DH & I have watched it maybe 2 or 3 times together - not even a whole show of it. We'll just stop on it if we see it on TV or something. We've never gone out purposely to rent a video or anything. The few times we have watched bits of one we've just laughed at it. It does nothing to help us out in the bedroom. DH doesn't look at it alone that I know of, but I don't think I'd be threatened or mad if he did.

     

    image

    Brittany (brittk0486)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)

     

  • For anyone who wants to see an example of a male porn star who's a) actually good looking and b) entertaining, go find a movie called "Pirates" starring Evan Stone.  We downloaded it by torrent.  It's a full-length movie made about 5 years ago, with real Hollywood production quality and a whole story.  (I know, shocking, right?)  Evan does the whole thing with a wink to the audience and is pretty funny.  He's the exception to the rule, but a good one.
    Married since September 2012
    TTC #1 since January 2013
  • lol...I'll post again if it'll make you feel better! ;) Ditto the previous people who said that they always seem to be faking it, I usually end up laughing at them for just that reason. Also ditto the ugly men thing...I understand it's geared towards men, but come on!  Ladies watch it, too.

    Deb-I've seen that one for sale and considered watching it.  I'll have to take a look since you recommend it. :)

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