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current problems
I'm going to list my current problems. Fixing these problems would make my life a lot better/easier.
- Living with Alex's parents. They are nice and all, but I feel like because we're married, we ought to be independent. duuh.
- Nightmares/paranoid thoughts that a ghost is after me. I woke up last night and thought something was choking me. It definitely didn't help that I wasn't in my own house and that the blinds were up - freaks me out when I think people can see in the house.
- Lack of job. I technically got an on-call position at juvenile detention, but that doesn't start until November. I have an interview on the 30th. I also just got a call tonight for a bartending/serving position. Hopefully one or two of any of those will work out.
That's my top three. What's yours?
My mom is coming this weekend, so that ought to be interesting. Alex is gone right now because he's spending time with his bff that is leaving this weekend to go to Paraguay for the Peace Corps. So, I understand him wanting to spend time with him. I asked him to be back by midnight so that I will have a little better time going to sleep tonight. I also am going to take some sleepytime meds to help the process. Bah! Sorry for being such a downer today - I know you guys don't mind, considering the circumstances, but I feel bad for putting that heavy story on you. Thanks for being there, though.
Re: current problems
The big issues here are:
-Worries about our house selling. We have to move for his job (military) and the housing market sucks. We're probably going to break even with what we owe if we price aggressively. If it doesn't sell quickly, a distinct possibility, we end up in the hole. We could rent, but we'd lose about $500 a month for the term of the rental...just can't get our mortgage+taxes for a rental.
-Will I have a job when we move? In addition to maybe losing whatever on the house, we don't know if I'll have work where we're going. Possibility of my transferring within my company doesn't look good. There isn't much in terms of jobs up there in my field from what I'm seeing. Not sure how we'll potentially pay a mortgage, rent up there, and our bills all on his paycheck...
-Finances in general, namely debt reduction and concerns that my potential lack of job will get us right back in the hole. Frustrating.
There are some other things, but they are minor in comparison...mostly things on our to-do list for the move or stresses that are job related. Thankfully (feels weird to use that word for this subject), my cousin is no longer suffering...for a while that was hands-down #1 on my list of worries.
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My three biggest issues:
1) Long-term career issues. Finding a more permanent position.
2) Making friends (I still have not many a single person since I've moved here). I had high hopes of meeting people at my new jobs, but as an adjunct I'm kind of like a ghost. No one knows I'm there or who I am. Its is very lonely.
3) ... I don't think I have a 3, life is pretty good except for these things above. I'd like my husband to come home from NY, but he should return tonight.
1. I'm bored out of my mind at work and can't stand it but not only do I feel bad about complaining because I'm lucky I'm employed, I also dont want to tell too many people at work should they then think I'm dispensible.
2. I'm trying to start a side business to help remedy problem 1 and keep hitting walls with figuring out regulations and requirements.
3. I'm constantly worried/stressed about our "upcoming" move that could really happen anytime, but most likely will be late next summer. I just want to know where we are going and when so I can plan around it. We want to start trying for a baby but have to wait until we know when things are happening because I dont want to be 6 months prego when I'm looking for a job.
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1. Debt. I can't believe I make what I do and have no money because the bulk goes to student loans. My student loans are equal to my mortgage. True story.
2. Motivation level at work. This isn't a huge issue, but I think because I'm travelling every week, I'm losing steam quickly and thus losing interest in what I do.
3. Again not a major issue, but lack of free time. I feel like when I'm not working, I'm either grocery shopping, cooking, or cleaning the house. I feel as though I'm constantly in need of a vacation.
1. Both of our careers. My current position affords me NO upward mobility or any great skills to use anywhere else. Totally stagnant yet it's so stress-free and easy that I can't possibly see going anywhere else and being miserable. He has more of a chance to move upward in his company, but probably not at this location.
2. House savings. aka our nonexistent fund. With our current salaries we do okay -- yet we're not actively saving for a future down payment, and the cost of owning would have us living on Ramen noodles and I refuse to pinch pennies and not enjoy our lives. So...we'll be renters forever.
3. Motivation. I haz none. I have loads of free time being semi-unemployed but I just can't get my booty to the gym or do something more productive with my time.I'm running out of little projects that I give myself every day. DH is judgy of how I chose to entertain myself -- and of how much time I spend online.
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
Hang in there Desaree!!
1. My job. I think saying I despise it is an understatement. It makes me miserable, grumpy and exhausted. Unfortunately, I have to keep it until DH gets a job, since his will more than likely be out of state and we'll have to move. Then I can look for something new.
2. DH's job. He's one of those who loves to work, and in the crappy job market, he hasn't been able to get a job since graduating in May. He feels horrible about it because he knows I want to quit my job, and he's been applying to jobs all over the US and Canada, but he hasn't gotten one yet and it kills him.
3. My health. I am one of those people who never gets sick, however I've felt like crap for the past 3 weeks and can't shake whatever this is. I have a wicked cough and lots of congestion. I just want to feel normal again!
1. Jobs - I would like dh to find a job with better hours and more pay but he doesn't want to change jobs. he's not even really happy at the one he has but for whatever reason is convinced he should stay. It's a dead end job unless he goes back to school which he refuses to do. The money is crap and we hardly see each other. I know I should be thankful that he has a job but the lack of ambition really bothers me.
2. Money. Tied to the last one, we need more money coming in if we are going to have a house and family someday. Dh says he understands this but will do nothing about it. houses don't just fall into your lap free of charge!
3. Family. After the miscarriage this summer, I'm terrified that we won't be able to have kids. I know it was a little earlier than planned but we would like to start a family sooner rather than later and this just makes me worry if it's possible.
4. my keyboard is suddenly not completely functional and I cannot capitalize certain letters.
1. School. I hate my program but am locked into it. I was going to try to finish all of my classes this year so all I had left was the dissertation, but due to the economy or whatever they are not offering what I need and in order to finish I will likely need a third year which I am NOT prepared to pay for.
2. Work. The school where I used to be a teacher closed down due to lack of enrollment. I always saw myself going back there and teaching again, but I guess you can't go home again.
3. It's kind of petty, but I guess weight and appearance. I've gained four pounds since the wedding and I want them off! I have a plan and I'm working on it, but still. Also, overall, I've lost almost 40 pounds in the last year (getting ready for the wedding), so I don't have a lot of clothes that fit me any more. So I pretty much always feel like a shlump. I didn't realize I would miss my "fat" clothes so much, but some of them were really cute!
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1. Job. I have not had a full time job since our wedding and the part time work I am doing is not paying the bills.
2. Money. Because I don't have a full time job, I am quickly blowing through my savings. DH is unemployed because he is a full time student and it is just really hard right now. One more year and DH will graduate and *fingers crossed* find a job.
3. Career/school. I quit my job in retail to go into nursing. I got my CNA this summer and now I'm not sure that that is what I want to do.