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Wedding party regret (long)
So one of my friends asked me to be in her wedding, which is a year from this month. She is one of those people who HAS to have even sides, and has all these insane ideas about what should happen in a wedding... right down to INSISTING her future in-laws pay for the rehearsal dinner.
I've been going through some really tough times right now (working 60hrs a week, we're most likely losing the 2nd house we are trying to buy)... and the only time she messages me is to talk about her wedding. Our conversation went something like this the other day:
Her: What's going on with the house?
Me: Well, we might lose it... things aren't looking good. We're pretty devastated.
Her: So when can you go dress shopping? We need to set a date for that.
REALLY?
So she scheduled a day for us to all go dress shopping. She wants to make this an all day event, go out to lunch, and visit 90 stores. I suggested that she narrow it down to 4 or 5 dresses she'd want us to try before we go all over the state (I said it nicer than that) and she was like, oh well I'm so busy with work, I don't have much time to do that. OK, so take up my weekend day and drag me all around the state.
I'm all about being there for my friends but sometimes you need to meet halfway. I know I did when I was getting married.
In other news, my sister has kicked out her entire bridal party which I wrote about... originally she said I could pick my own dress because she didn't care (plus she picked both of her own dresses for my wedding...yes, I said BOTH. there were two. And no, she did not clear it with me.) So now since all her friends have "screwed her over" (i.e., not talked about her wedding every second of the day) she has decided to punish ME and pick out the dress that I wear...after all the freedom she had with my wedding, and after telling me I could pick what I wanted.
I am so tired of this... I just hate when people are so blinded by their weddings that they can't see what other people are going through.
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Re: Wedding party regret (long)
First of all, HI!! Miss you!
Your friend sounds like an a-hole. She really has no targeted ideas for BM dresses?? She needs to do some legwork first by herself -- look at area salons and get ideas, THEN take the BP on salon outings. You shouldn't have to cave to this demand, especially with how much you have going on now and how busy you are.
As for your sister -- I can't even fake shock here. Are you seriously going to be the only BM? Or just until she resolves things with her friends? I have the feeling she would put you in something less than flattering so you don't upstage her.
p.s. Did you get a certain email from Elfster?
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
*HUGS*
That's all I got - hope it's enough.
Sorry about the house
Selfish people suck!!!!!!!!!!!?
Ugh. On both accounts.
I agree with you that the friend should at least narrow it down to a more doable number of stores. Girls Day with the bridesmaid to pick out dresses, didn't do it myself but get it. Expecting you all to trek all over and start from scratch...notsomuch. Does she at least have some pictures off the internet or from a magazine or something that she can show the people at the stores...some sort of clue as to what direction she wants to go?
Not surprised about the news about your sister. I'm sorry you're stuck. I've BTDT, and it sucks royally. Even worse that you're potentially getting stuck with a dress you may not like, at least I got to pick mine... When is her wedding again? Its such a relief when its over, I hope that its soon (I recommend having a stiff drink (or 10) at the reception
)
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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~All AL'ers welcome~
Sorry about the house - some friends of ours went through a similar situation not too long ago. The good news is that the third time was a charm so here's hoping...
Could you just meet up for the girls for lunch and the afternoon portion? That way once she's in the store with the other girls she might get a better idea of what she wants and you have a few hours back for yourself.
I'd hold off buying any dress for sister's wedding until the absolute last minute with the hopes that she kicks you out too. Again, here's hoping...