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need to vent-wedding guests
So, my husband and I got married in June. His grandparents couldn't make it due to his grandfather is sick, and his grandmother did not feel comfortable going alone to the ceremony or reception ,which we totally understood. (My husband's family is not very close with the grandparents but the family gets together every few months.) His grandmother sent me a bridal shower card and gift because she didn't come to my shower my mom and mother in law planned for me. I sent a 'thank-you' note. The weird thing is we never got a card or anything for the wedding. We've been to their house since the wedding, I brought some of the wedding pictures and his grandmother looked briefly at them....... I know that my husband is not close with them, but the grandparents have bought 'very pricey' gifts for other grandchildren when they got married recently....and we didn't even get a card. I'm just a little frustrated b/c other family members who could not afford generous gifts...were more then generous with their wedding gift. Sorry....just needed to vent.
Re: need to vent-wedding guests
If they are getting up there in age (not sure how old they are), is it possible that they don't realize they didn't get you anything? Just saying that sometimes older people aren't necessarily aware of things like that. My grandmother, for example, had no idea she got me a serving dish with peonies on it because she'd given the money to one of her daughters to take care of it. The aunt had told her what she'd gotten for me, gram just didn't remember (she's almost 90). Just a thought. Could also be possible that she meant the shower gift to be for both, I had people do that too.
I know it sucks and seems like a slap in the face, but I'd let it go.
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BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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I agree with PP, maybe they thought they sent a card and really forgot b/c they are old. Or maybe they meant for the shower gift to be both wedding and shower (I got a couple like that, although in the card it said something about happy shower and congrats on your marriage).
Totally understand needing to vent, we didn't get some gifts from D's family members who CAME to the wedding which just really annoyed me. Not because I'm being gift grabby but because I understand times are tough, but really you can't even stop and pick up a card? or make us a card? That just was rude to me and while I'm not surprised by their lack of etiquette, it still rubbed me the wrong way.
I think sometimes people just forget or don't think you will notice and dont mean it to be offensive. There really isn't a tactful way to bring it up so I would let it go... and vent to us of course!
FWIW, while I didn't have such an obvious double standard, we did have people not send a card or gifts for the wedding. The most noticable of all would be my own brother and his wife. $ is tight for them, so I don't mind the non-gift at all (in fact I'd rather it that way)...but that they wouldn't even send a card on top of all the other crap they pulled that weekend...it sucked.
I guess we probably all have such situations...
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
I invited an Aunt at my mom's request and she didn't bring anything, not even a card. my parents have bought and gave her all kinds of things over the years because she had financial problems her whole life. i wasn't entirely expecting something from her, but when i was talking to her when my dad was in the hospital she kept saying how she was planning on getting me a gift and that she hadn't forgotten. I was like it's ok, i'm not worried about it, but thinking how could you not come to a wedding without anything at all! even though her car doesn't work she couldn't get one of her sons to take her to the store to get a card or a small gift of some kind?
Not that everything has to be by the book, but according to Emily Post, a shower gift is required, a wedding gift is not, especially if you do not attend the wedding.
I would perhaps have someone close to her say something just to make sure that a check or card wasn't misplaced. I don't want this to sound rude, but honestly, get over it. You sound a bit petty complaining about people getting better gifts than you. You don't know their financial situation and you aren't close to them. We didn't get gifts from everyone that came to the wedding and I'm fine with it. A wedding isn't about gifts, it's about the marriage.