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TTC Frustrated (long and whiny....sorry!)
Okay....I am a beginning to get a little frustrated about out TTC journey thus far, and just need to vent a little.
Let me start by saying that I know I really have nothing to complain about. We've only been trying for three months now, and I know that lots of other people have had far longer and more difficult journeys than I. So, I feel like I have no right to be frustrated this early in the game, yet I am. So, I apologize if it sounds like I'm whining (which, I guess I am!).
But, my extended family has always been extremely fertile. The majority of my cousins were pregnant by accident when they were quite young (as were my mother and grandmother). My family all knew that we were going to try right after the wedding (there was out first mistake, telling my mother that, who told EVERYONE). So I think it was assumed that it wouldn't take us any time at all (which we assumed, too). However.....it is. 
Now, they're all watching my every move, assuming they see signs of pregnancy! Even so much as updating my FB status to say "....had a good day" was all over-interpreted and questioned. That's my first frustration.
My second frustration is the fact the my cycle has been very irregular lately, much to my dismay (I was really hoping that wouldn't happen). The fact is, I was on BC pills for almost 16 years, and just got off them before the wedding. My first couple of cycles we still exactly 28 days....just like on the pill, so I was hopeful that they'd stay that way. Then my last cycle was 30 days, and now this one I'll be on day 35 tomorrow, and still no flow. I got all excited and tested on day 32 (Sunday), but got a BFN. If it's negative, I wish it'd just get here already, you know?
I did use OPKs for the past two cycles, and did seem to ovulate, but I didn't use the OPK consistently this cycle, and now wish I had! Other than that, I'm not charting (yet), but I guess maybe I should start? I don't know if I ovulated or not this cycle.
I apologize....I'm still very new to this TTC thing (I spent my whole life desperately trying NOT to get pg!), and I know that my situation is probably very common. And that's it's still very early to be having these fears....three months is nothing when TTC. But I'm just starting to get discouraged. I (like everyone, probably) thought this would be really easy. Now I'm starting to worry about my past choices, like being on BC so long, and even donating my eggs, which I was really proud about, but now worry about (even though research shows no damage to a donor's future fertility, I'm still worried).
Anyway, thanks for listening to me vent. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about my fears except MH, and I feel like while he does want a child right now, he doesn't want to talk it to death.....just keep trying. I know that's what we have to do, but I'm already starting to get discouraged. I guess maybe I could just use some words of encouragement right about now.
Thanks for listening (reading). I think I just needed to get this out.
Re: TTC Frustrated (long and whiny....sorry!)
Hi Leah,
I am on old nestie. Just had a minute to jump on, so I thought I would respond. I was on the pill for 12+ years before TTC. I got PG for DS 7 months after getting off of it. The first couple of cycles were weird. Just try to chart and take your temp in the morning so you can actually see if you do in fact ovulate. We are TTC #2 now and its been a few months for that. I chart, temp, use OPKs and have a CBEFM that also helps. When I want something, I want it now and go full force (hence all my TTC equipment). lol However it happens when it happens unfortunately. "Try" to relax and enjoy the baby making because in all honesty (ask my DH) it all slows down when the baby comes. lol There is no turning back
Have you read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility? Its an excellent book and SO helpful when learning about your body and charting/TTC. Also I think the odds of getting PG each month are only 10-15% (very low).
I do rec'd also using OPKs when charting because it gives you a better idea when you might be ovulating (only temps can tell you for sure). GL on the TTC!
Amy
Everything Amy said.
Get the book Taking Charge of your Fertility. And check out fertilityfriend.com.
I went off the pill in July 08, then bought the book started temping in Oct when nothing happened. Turns out we weren't doing it at the right times since I O on the 16th of the month, not the 14th... I was KU by Dec! :-)
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I also come from a family of VERY fertile women. Even I was an "accident," although my mom won't admit it.
It took us a few months before successfully conceiving a sticky pregnancy -- this current one! So I, too, got frustrated when it wasn't instantly happening for us, even though I told myself again and again that things take time and that everyone is different.
I guess I'd say that what you're feeling is totally natural and understandable, and you'll just have to continue throughout your TTC journey in whatever ways feel most comfortable for you. For me, the idea of monitoring my ovulation and everything just overwhelmed and stressed me. We felt most "inspired" just doing our own thing (a lot of it!), and thankfully it eventually worked out for us... (but I'm sure I would have adjusted the plan over time if we were still left waiting for the magic to happen.)
Take care of yourself and try to stay positive. Everyone is different, so just do what feels right and most reassuring for you at this stage. Sending loads of sticky baby dust your way!
The pp gave great advice!!
I am sorry that you are so frustrated. Try to stay positive and keep trying:-)
Oh hon. I could have written this post. In fact, I think I've written virtually the exact same thing on the TTCAL board before.
In my generation, I'm the only girl to get pregnant on purpose. By "on purpose" I mean that I wasn't a teenager who did it on accident...or a teenager who did it to trap her boyfriend (although I guess technically that's on purpose, eh?)...or a woman in her early 20's who had a whoopsie with a boyfriend...or a woman in her early 20's who "just decided to see what happened". They all got pregnant pretty much immediately.
And, I suppose, I did too - do you remember how fast I got pregnant the first time? I didn't even have a period after going off birth control (went off right after a period ended, and stunningly, ovulated a week and a half later). And that turned out to be a problem - my doctor's theory was that my body simply wasn't ready that fast, that maybe my uterine lining wasn't thick enough or my egg wasn't the greatest one in the pack. So - and I know it sucks when people say this - in a way it's a blessing in disguise not to get knocked up right away. Your body is taking the time it needs to prepare, to get everything just right so you can get a sticky baby with no problems.
And I know that sucks. Trust me, I know! When we were TTCing, I cried at least once a week. I was so frustrated and hurt and angry (yes, angry - there is nothing more maddening than walking around and seeing pregnant teen girls cooing about how much "fun" their new little friend will be, or women who like to exclaim that "all he has to do is look at me and I get pregnant!", or ones who say, "oh, it just happened" when you're doing everything you can to maximize your chances by timing sex, etc. and wondering how the hell anyone can possibly do this on accident). It doesn't make it any better that then, of course, everyone tells you to stop stressing...because then you stress about being stressed lol.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is...I understand. And I know that you know you haven't been trying that long, and I also know that doesn't matter, because it feels like forever lol! It doesn't matter that it's irrational or not, it's just the way you feel. But it WILL happen for you - it will. I know trying to be patient blows, but this will happen for you. So hang in there, OK?
Thanks, everyone, for just letting me get my frustrations out. I feel slightly better this morning. It's just nice to be able to talk about how you're feeling with people who totally understand.
I realize that there are boards specifically for this purpose, but this is the only board I feel comfortable enough to let my guard down completely. Hawaii Nesties are the best!
I am in the same boat as you! Sticky dust to the both of us!!
Hey Leah! I would also recommend reading TCOYF. Even if you decide not to temp or chart and would rather let nature take its course, at the very least, you'll be more aware of what your body is doing throughout your cycles. We are TTA for now, but I am hoping and praying that I see a temp shift indicating ovulation soon! It's nerve-wracking!
I actually wish I had never gone on BCP, but it was the best decision I could make with the info I had 8+ years ago. Don't beat yourself up or question your past choices, okay? Hang in there!
DItto what Amy and the other gals wrote. Sage advice.
Definitely read TCOYF and if it's for you, start charting. I felt better knowing that I was learning my cycle and therefore, could "time" our BMS for the best results possible. Since you were on BC so long it may take you a while to really regulate. Most docs say try on your own for a year before you get worried enough to start testing, etc.
If you can swing it, I highly recommend the CBEFM...it's awesome and in my opinion, totally worth the price and then some! Especially if you hope to have more than one pregnancy. In browsing the charts at Fertility Friends alot of the CBEFM users are knocked-up within four months of using it. It worked for me too! Next time around I may just use the CBEFM and hold off on charting until a few cycles go by...especially since by then I am sure sleep will be at a premium!
Another option is just to have BMS every other day after AF until AF starts again. That way you're sure to "catch the egg" whenever it's released (if you are ovulating on your own).
Hang in there and keep your head up. As for nosey family and friends...maybe you can just say, "when there's news to share, you'll be the second to know." That way you can let them know to back off a bit, in a nice way.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you Leah! I'm sorry that it's been so frustrating. I haven't started TTC yet, but when I do, I'm sure I'll be on here venting too...
{{{hugs}}} to my fellow 09 bride!!