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If you hear someone screaming in frustration today
Don't worry, it's just me.
Maybe DH is right - maybe it would be good if I end up laid off in 3 weeks. I have trouble accepting the idea of not having a job because I've had one for so long I'm not sure what I'd do with myself, but this really isn't working for me. I feel useless and frustrated and spend my day muttering under my breath, swearing (in my head) as I sort through emails and vague task lists, and I just have no direction. Beyond do these million tasks with minimal guidance and information and no where to get the information other then from the three people who are swamped with requests from 15 other people (all urgent of course).
I have no problem working independently and on my own. Provided I can get the information I need to move forward. Right now I feel like I'm trying to run in knee deep mud, but everyone expects an Olympic record breaking time for the 100m dash.
I also feel like I just don't fit in. But I'm not sure where to start to find where I would fit in.
And I can't get rid of my stupid cold.
Re: If you hear someone screaming in frustration today
crappy:( well you are in control of your own destiny. Try to keep your head held high and working hard - wouldn't it be better if you chose to leave the company rather than getting laid off?
Maybe you should start looking/applying for jobs elsewhere?
Your job sounds craptastically busy like mine - I have so many things to do and some of the jobs are so complicated I don't know hwere to start!! arghhhhH!!!!!!!!!! I am sure people realize how much work you do, even if you don't. Someone told me about this the other day (Impostor's Syndrome): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
Oh, and other thoughts that may answer questions.
1. Laid off is good because there would be severance.
2. For tax reasons, laid off early in 2010 would be better, otherwise a significant portion of the severance would have to go to RRSPs instead of just savings. Which is fine in the long run but would give me some anxiety just because I'm a worrier.
3. I'm not at risk of being laid off because of performance or any real issue, it's sort of a miscommunication / recent economic situation thing. I would receive a good reference from my current manager if needed.
4. DH is right, I need a change but my risk avoidance personality means this is scary.
5. Staying would be better if I could change groups and get the experience I need. Again, DH says if I stepped out of my comfort zone I'd see I already have the skills - I just need to have some confidence.
1. Sure there would be serverence, but you also would be out of a job for a little while (possibly). There are other benefits to staying at the same company (accruing vacation, etc).
2. That may be the case, but often you don't choose when you will get laid off.
3. Don't start making excuses of why they can lay you off. Keep working hard, also start looking for opportunities elsewhere.
4. The possibility of working at the same job for the next 30 years is scary. New jobs are scary. The possibility of getting laid off is scary. Any change is scary.
5. See #1. Yes staying at the same company is better.
Thanks for the link, that's very interesting. And something worth thinking over more.
I'm keeping my eyes open for really good postings and applying to those. But they have to be REALLY good. Until then I'm going to wait and see what happens, at the same time I'm talking to people in other areas of the company that I'm interested in and have turned one into my new mentor.
We can afford to have me not work. It just means no winter vacation and watching discretionary spending more closely. DH and I had been considering making some changes - if I were laid off it would just move up our timeline by about a year. Not a bad thing, just kind of like a push in the right direction.
I can relate. I like my job but in a lot of ways, I do wish I had some more guidance.
In terms of fitting in... do your coworkers go for coffee, or lunches together? Or, can you invite some people out for breaks just to socialize for a bit?
Hang in there!
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
I'm sorry things are so crappy. If I remember correctly they have been for a while too....
Do you have any opportunity to move to a different group within the company? Sounds like you are in definite need of a change.
**big hugs**
I'm sorry the work situation sucks.
I'm with ringpop - can you try to initiate some fun and simple social things with colleagues to make it at least tolerable?
And I hope your cold clears up. DD just got a cold overnight and I just feel wretched for her
I wish!
The not fitting in is more in how I approach work. I think alot of my problem is with the corporate culture. I have fun when we go for lunch or coffee. Unfortunately they really aren't paying me to do that all day.
I'm talking to others in the company, showing interest. But I don't think time is going to be on my side. Or, if you're like DH and think it's about time I go work somewhere else, it just might be. Paid to leave is really not that bad. I spoke with someone today who gave me some really good contacts outside of the company that I'm going to follow up on.
I'll jump ship for the right opportunity. And trying to focus on what I can do to be ready for that opportunity. This morning was just really bad. It got better.