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mini vent
Ben has gone away for three nights - he's traveling interstate (to your neck of the woods, Tina!) for a wedding. What with the house and the bebbehs and all, we could only afford for one of us to go, plus I'm not traveling too well at the moment (I've never been motion sick in my life, but I've been so nauseated lately that even short car rides have been making me queasy).
Anyway, I miss him. But apparently, that's a "bad" thing. Whenever I tell people that he's gone, they get all excited and say, "Oh that's great! You can get some alone time. I love it when my husband leaves, I can finally get some peace!" And then when I tell them that actually, I miss him, they give me this look like I'm a freak and ask why I can't spend time by myself.
Ummm...I CAN spend time by myself. I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself for four days, and it's not like I'm sitting at home, crying in a corner. I'm doing social stuff with friends over the weekend. But you know what? I LIKE spending time with my husband. I enjoy being around him. We're one of those couples that do virtually everything together just because we like to. I miss seeing him around the house and snuggling up to him at night. He's not an annoyance - he's someone that I love.
I guess I just...I don't get why this is a bad thing that apparently makes me weak and clingy and needy and why I should be thrilled that he's gone so I can "finally" get some alone time (I do have fun doing things like eating single people food [like crackers and cheese as a meal lol], but I'm talking more about the entire time as a whole). I would have thought that it's a good thing to marry someone that you love spending time with, but apparently not. I just don't get it. Missing my husband doesn't mean I'm some kind of 50's subservient housewife who has no life outside her marriage. It just means that...I miss him. I don't see what's so wrong with that. 
Re: mini vent
I agree to a T! I love watching my shows but other than that I totally feel you Lisa. I hope the time goes by quickly while he is away.
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
This! This is exactly it! I don't feel like there's anything I'm missing out on by having him around, since I'm not stopped from doing anything...so maybe that's it? I don't have any super special activities to do (or even TV shows to watch) that I wouldn't already do with him there. Maybe that makes me boring lol.
Like you, I'm really a loner - so I don't mind being alone, that's not the issue at all - but I miss him because I enjoy spending time with him so much.
My DH & I are the same way. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. DH never goes away and when he did the last time I was kind of excited to have the house to myself. Two hours into it I missed him and had enough 'alone time'. As for those people, just shrug it off. Poor them for not having what you guys have!
As for the car rides, this was me too last month!!! Sour candy on hand always helped, so did Icee's, those sugar filled slushy drinks from when we were kids. Hang in there because 2nd tri is awesome!!! (so far anyway).
I've heard a few women saying things like "I can't wait for my husband to go back to camp" - I live in a forestry based community. And I always wonder why they want him to go.
I love when Russ is home. He's my best friend. When he goes away I can enjoy eating nachos for dinner and watching girly shows, but I would rather be snuggling with him watching "our" shows!
Married Bio
This is me, 100%! Brian is actually going on a business trip right after Thanksgiving and we are both really, really not looking forward to it...and it's a short trip, too! He leaves Sunday morning and will be back Wednesday night. Aside from my own business trips (I traveled A LOT for work in 2005, but haven't since) and his 1 Las Vegas trip with his folks when he turned 21 (I was still 20 and didn't go), we haven't spent a day apart since we started dating 10 years ago. I know that might sound weird, but we just love spending time with one another...even if we're just bumming around the house watching infommercials and eating popcorn. We also don't need to be fully engaged with one another at all times. He can be watching ESPN, while I'm in the office working on some paper project. The point is that I just love having him around. His presence gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.
Other married people have given me "advice" and have said that it's essential for my marriage that we have interests outside of our marriage. Huh? Really? That seems totally contradictory, if you ask me. IMO, this is what led to the demise of my own parents' marriage. To each their own, I suppose. Every relationship dynamic is different. I just wish others would realize that and keep their comments to themselves.
Thank you for mentioning this. Because of our LD marriage, I'm always missing DH. I too, have heard a lot of women saying that they enjoy it when their husbands are out of town or whatever and tell me how lucky I am to have so much time to myself. I was getting a little worried that I missed DH too much and I was going to be that clingy wifey when we actually did live together! But reading all of your responses tells me that plenty of independant women miss their H's and it's simply because they enjoy their H's company so much. Me too!
I too, simply enjoy hanging out with DH. We have great conversations, laugh a lot, and we just really enjoy being together. Like Hanyi said, we still do the stuff we used to do when we were single, we just do them together now, and enjoy it more because of each other.
This is us, too. He even watches J&K+8 with me. Haha.
We just all need to appreciate that we get to spend so much time with our husbands. I have a coworker who has been married for almost 2 years and hasn't seen her husband since. She conceived their son on their honeymoon and he has never seen his father. I don't know how she does it. They have visa issues - they're from the Philippines. Obviously, she lives in the US and he's in the UK. For some reason he can't come to the US to work. I have no idea why they haven't even visited each other. I just can't even imagine how hard that must be.