WWYD?

mrs.winter · October 2009

What would your reaction be if you best friend called to tell you they are "having feelings" for an ex-boyfriend of yours (lived together for 4 years and almost got married) and wanted to see how you felt?

What would you do? Say?

redshoegirl · October 2009

I suppose it would depend on how I felt about the ex (with one, I'd probably have an issue...with another I can think of, I wouldn't at all).

And also if "having feelings" translated to "this is new and I genuinely want to check in with you to see if you'll be OK with this" or if it translated to "we're already shagging, so this is just a polite way of giving you the heads up."

husky422 · October 2009

i think she's trying to do the right thing. but regardless of you how you feel about it, sounds like there is a little something something going on already.

personally, i would be a little jealous (okay a lot jealous but i'm super competitive so that might be the freak in me).

i don't know what i'd say...happy for you? i dunno, that's tough. i wouldn't be mad at her though.

how do you feel about it?

inamra · October 2009

I think it's considerate of her to ask. I'd be fine and even encourage it if the ex-bf was a good person (and things just didn't work out b/c we're not meant to be).

But I also never been really serious with anyone (no relationships longer than a couple of months & never lived with an ex) besides MH so maybe I'm not the right person to ask. In general, I also would encourage anyone to date any one of my exes that were good people because if I don't/didn't marry them, they should have a chance to marry someone that's right for them. Just my 2 cents...

jaysgirljulie · October 2009

First I would let my friend know how much a appreciate her being upfront and honest. I would also let her know that her friendship means a lot to you but if something were to come of them dating, your friendship would most likely become a lot more distant. You don't have him in your life for a reason, you don't want to hear about their life together. At least that is how I would feel about it. All my ex's are pretty good guys but I don't want to have anything to do with them.

msmoore27 · October 2009

I think that depends a lot on what your current relationship with your ex is like? How did you leave things? Would it be very uncomfortable for you if he is around at parties, gatherings with you and your friends?

I think that you should be honest with your friend and if you think it would be terrible for your friendship because you can't be around him let her know. But if you think you would be fine with having him around in group social settings and he wasn't a bad person who cheated on you/treated you badly/was a bad boyfriend, then maybe you should give her a chance to explore those feelings?

beachbubbles · October 2009

so many what ifs and extenuating circumstances...my sister married her best friend's ex boyfriend-in fact when she told her friend that she had feelings for him-her friend said that she always felt he would have been better dating her (my sister)-my other girlfriend married the ex boyfriend of her sister and again no hard feelings-but some exes a whole different story-nature of friendships, etc...

adpilove · October 2009

My first thoughts are..........."you can have his rotten as*". But then again, I don't see any of my friends wanting one of my exes because he turned out to be such trash. LOL. But if the situation were different and we ended on better terms, I might have a different feeling. I guess I just feel like I have a great husband, I can't imagine me being concerned about an ex. But maybe having to see them together might disturb me, who knows.....

mrs.winter · October 2009

Thanks everyone for the input....I think I am in the minority:-) My ex is a great guy and she is not too good to her men. I will keep you posted on how I handle it:-)

myday1708 · October 2009

Oh! You are worried that SHE will not be good to HIM! That is funny. I agree with all the pps that it was considerate of her to tell you. I would probably just thank her for asking and tell her to do what she wants. I mean, you are happily married to what sounds like an awesome guy and have a hottie adorable little baby, so what do you care if she wants your ex?

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