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Mommy Advice Needed!
(Sorry, this is somewhat of a repeat question, but now that we are actually pregnant, I wanted to re-ask)
I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in a NJ wedding next June for my bff from college. Although she could not come to our wedding due to the start date of her residency, she did come a few weeks prior to hang out and help me plan. She is a good enough friend that, if I at all could, I would really like to be there on her big day.
HOWEVER, with our baby due at the end of March, we'll now have a teeny tiny little 2 month old to consider at that time.
I've already told her the news and, of course, she is thrilled and very understanding. She left it up to me what I want to do. The BM dress looks do-able -- short, strapless and loose around the belly -- but really, I would have no clue what size to order it in. And then it'd have to be altered and who knows how easy/difficult that would be with my (hopefully) rapidly slimming figure. 
I know some people say little babies travel well, but this is 5,000 miles and a 2-3 plane ride trek. We'd also be staying in a hotel, as we have no family or close friends who could house us (and, I'm presuming, our boatload of stuff). And is all that travel really safe for baby?
Soooo... Is it even realistic to still commit to being a BM? I don't want to be stressed over the logistics of it, yet I'd hate to drop out of the party and then realize I could very well have made it work. What do you all think?
Re: Mommy Advice Needed!
I think it depends on how comfortable you are. With my first DD, we didn't take her out in public (large crowds) until she was 8 weeks old. We were definitely more lax this time with my second b/c there's no way to stay in that long when you have a toddler and an infant. This time around our pediatrician told us to stay away from large crowds/lots of people until the baby was 4-6 weeks old.
I do think that it should be easier to travel when the baby is younger b/c they sleep a lot so if you do decide to go, hopefully the baby will sleep for most of the plane ride.
Something to consider - are you planning to breastfeed? If you're a bridesmaid, will you be able to leave the wedding party at times so you can nurse?
I have a much more conservative stance on taking newborns places since my son was one of the very small number of newborns to actually get a life-threatening illness "from the community" (the community being a small number of friends and family who visited our home). We almost lost him and I am very risk-adverse b/c of that. But our doctors told us that even term babies definately shouldn't be exposed to large numbers of people before their 2 months shots, and preferably not before 3 months. I know people do it all the time. I remember telling my husband, before we had Marino "I don't want to be one of those people that are all paranoid and never want to take the baby anywhere." I don't think there's any way to know what kind of mother you will be or how risk-adverse you will be until the baby is born.
So, my advice, it tell your friend you hope to be there, but you can't commit right now since there are so many unknown factors. I'm sure she will understand.
Ditto this. Seriously, the last thing you need is something else on your plate.
I agree with above. I think as nice as it would be to be there you will have so many other things on your mind in the next few months... 'worrying' about the dress, the flight and so on won't help much, y'know? You'll definitely be there in spirit if you can't make it. Good luck with what you decide.
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
I tend to agree, mostly because I've heard the same thing about being careful about exposing newborns before they're a few months old and have started their shots (I know this is a bad analogy, but after all, we do the same thing with puppies: when you get one, you don't take it to the dog park until they've had their shots because you risk them catching something bad).
Is this someone you're close enough to that you could arrange a visit later on - like after 6 months or so?
I sort of want to tell her one way or another whether I will be in the bridal party now -- so she has enough time to find a replacement and include her in the fitting/bachelorette/etc plans. But my gut was telling me what you all seem to be saying, and I guess that means I should decline my role as a bridesmaid.
I think I'll leave the possibility of our attendance open, since I really have no idea how things will work out until they actually happen. But it will make me feel a lot better to know that she'll be able to work something definite out for her bridal party, and that I won't have to stress over the travel details or worry about potentially compromising the health and safety of our little one.
And like Lisa said, I could offer to visit when the baby is old enough.
Thanks, ladies!
I only have a sec but I'll just in on traveling... we took Bella to Hawaii and she was 10 weeks old. She did great on the 13 hour flight, BF, slept, cooed and played with us. No issues at all. I took antibacterial wipes and wiped down the area we were sitting in, yes I'm a freak
We stayed in a condo that we own there and took a ton of stuff but it was fine. We even cloth diapered while we were there 
IT was a great trip and I'm glad we had a vacation from home. It was stressful at first trying to figure out the packing and me worrying about germs and such but it ended up amazing and I'm SO glad we did it!!
GL!