May 2009 Weddings
Huskerfanz
member
TTC #1 since 08/11 IUI#2 = BFP!
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Topic of the Day: In Laws
Now that we've all been married for a few months, I was wondering how everyone was getting along with their in-laws. Do you feel like you've been accepted into DH's family?
TTC #1 since 08/11 IUI#2 = BFP!
Re: Topic of the Day: In Laws
This is currently a frustrating situation for me which is part of why I started this topic of the day.
I get along with FIL pretty well and I think he likes me.
One of my SILs and I get along for the most part. I don't feel like we are that close.
I'm really not getting along at all with the other SIL which is very frustrating for me because I've really been trying hard to get along with her since I've known her (which is the same amount of time as I've known DH as we all lived in the same dorm that year.) I honestly don't know if she likes me at all and I feel like I'm just tolerated. A lot of that is her personality, too, which isn't helping the situation at all.
The relationship between MIL and I is tough. We get along but I don't feel like she respects me at all and I'm still not sure if she thinks I'm good enough for her only son.
I don't know if it helps or hurts, either, that they live about 5 minutes away (except SILs which are 45 minutes away at school).
TTC #1 since 08/11 IUI#2 = BFP!
All of my in laws live about 1500 miles away...and MH and I are both good with that. I haven't had any problems with any of them. SIL and I get along pretty well, but don't talk as much as we'd like. I get along well so far with MIL and FIL...but MIL is pretty much crazy, so that could change at any time. She got along nicely with SIL's husband for about 4 years and then suddenly, overnight, flipped and outright hated him. And I do mean hate...to the point that MIL put a fraudulent lien against SIL's house when they were trying to sell it and they barely avoided court (MH fought to keep them out of it) and didn't talk for several years.
As MH puts it MIL takes the difference between her "public persona" and "private persona" to dramatic extremes. Right now she's still in "public persona/hostess" mode with me...he's hoping that since we live so far away she will just stay in that mode. As of right now she sees me as "the daughter she never had" in her words to MH.
My in laws and I live about 1 minute away - they live just up the hill, so we see them several times a week. We get along great though - no issues at all really. I enjoy seeing them and it's great for Aidan to have them so close - also great for when we need last minute babysitters
I also get along fine with the BIL - There used to be some issues there a while ago with him and his wife, but everything is finally smoothed over and we're starting to all build back our relationships, which is wonderful.
They all live about 7 or so hours away, but have absolutely welcomed me and my family. My father talks to Mike's dad at least once a week--they only met each other during the wedding weekend, but got along famously.
I received the most wonderful birthday cards from his family. The one from his dad was so incredibly sweet. The gist of it said that a parent hopes their son finds a wonderful wife and they are all so happy he met me--really thoughtful.
I get along just fine with all of DH's parents and step parents. They drive me crazy sometimes, but I'm sure I drive them crazy, too!
SIL and I used to be super close. We did everything together and saw each other almost every day. Since then she and her husband have had a child and moved 6 hours away. I understand that having a child "changes you" but it seems like we don't have anything in common anymore, and we almost never talk. We fought some before the wedding which I think really put the final nail in the coffin of our super close friendship. There's no open hostility between us, and honestly, I think things are going to get better now that DH and I are going to have a child, too. Here's to hoping!
Good question
Before the wedding, well until April actually, they were really awesome people. I really enjoyed spending time with them. Then in April, they got weird. They'd come down for his dad's b-day and asked about the wedding and when to come. His mom was totally ok with coming in at noon the day of the wedding. I was like, uhhhh... it starts at two so can you come the night before?!?!!?
Ever since then, she's gotten the side eye from me, plus she's been really rude because Brett & I took a large chunk of our $8,000 house credit and put it in our e-fund. She called that irresponsible. Um, ok?? We call it smart, but whatever.
His dad is cool for the most part. Kinda standoff'ish, but not bad. He's like Brett, he's very quiet and only talks when he wants to LOL.
I like his brothers and their wives and loathe his cousin. That's about it
Trials & Adventures in Baby Making
Stuck in counting limbo.
SAIF always welcome!!
Fortune from UnderwaterRhymes: A new outlook brightens your image and brings new friends.
I get along really well with his parents. They welcomed me from the beginning and they were really great through the whole wedding process. They live about 15 minutes away but DH works with his dad so we don't see them that often since DH sees his dad every day. MIL gave me her sauce and meatball recipe which came from FIL's mother and I think that meant a lot to her that I asked for it. I figure it's good and DH loves it. Why not take a good recipe when it comes along? I guess DH's ex never asked for it so I think it meant a lot to MIL that I did. BIL and SIL are really nice and welcomed me too. They are both out of state at the moment so we don't see them that often. But when they are in town I get along with them.
I feel blessed to get along with all my in-laws.
I was welcomed into his family from the beginning.
Our first date was Thanksgiving night and I spent Christmas Eve with his Mom's entire family.
I am also really close to one of his aunts.j
DH and I have been together a long time - almost seven years. I was 'accepted' into his family many, many years before we were married.
I love all of them and we all get along great. MIL lives in FL, though, and we rarely get to see her, but she's trying to sell her house so that she can move back here and we cannot wait. It's been on the market for over two years now, though.
We have dinner with his father and grandmother every Wednesday (and have for years), which I love. One of his sisters and her FI bought a house across the street from us over the summer and we see them many times a week and they're pretty much our best friends. They're getting married next May and we're both in the wedding.
MH and I have also been together for a long time (seven years this month) and his family accepted me a while ago and I didn't think that I could be any more 'in' the family. However after the wedding they sucked me in even more and we are pretty darn close. My FIL is sooo excited to have a DIL and the same with my MIL. My BIL is great and his GF is awesome as well; we hang out whenever we can. I know that to MIL I will always be the woman who took away her son and prevented him from moving back home. But fortunately she doesn't hold it against me. It does kinda slip out once in a while though! I do feel lucky that they are so accepting since they are all Italian and I'm not. (Not that it should make a difference, but you know how people can be!)
Because DH's cousin and I were college roommates, DH and I knew each other/were friends for about 2 years before we started dating, so I've known his family for a LONG time. In fact, I met his extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, etc.) before I even met him. I spent holidays with his family (as a guest of his cousin's) long before we were together. So, his family accepted me long ago and seemed happy to finally have me as an official family member.
We live about 45 min. from both of our families and that works nicely. They're close enough to visit whenever we want, but not so close that we're smothered. MIL and I get along very well, she's made it very clear that she's happy to have me as a DIL. SIL and I get along, probably better than her and DH do. BIL is okay, just kind of 'there' and him and DH get along okay.
My family also loves my H and quickly welcomed him into the family. When it comes to in-laws, DH and I are VERY lucky!!
Well, from day one of dating they were great and accepting of me. This of course only grew better throughout the years. Same with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. They have all been very accepting of me since meeting me.
However, the in-laws have been a little different since we got married. They're still great most of the time, but there have been times when MIL harassed H about something stupid, and sometimes it reflects on me too. The latest example would be that the in-laws went to a family wedding this last weekend that H and I did not attend. At the wedding one of their relatives said something to my in-laws about sending us a check but it hasn't cleared the bank, nor have they received a thank you. MIL calls H, and H says we have never seen nor heard of this check, checked our list of presents just to confirm. Well she kept bugging him about it throughout the night, and it drove me nuts, like we were incapable of depositing a check that came to our house. It obviously got lost in the mail and they kept bugging us about it like it was our fault.
Anyways, I hope this fades over time, and it's just them getting used to H being out on his own. And we do live in the same town and we see them at church each week, and occasionally other times as well.
My inlaws live about a mile from us. My DH and I lived with them in their home for a year before our wedding to save up a down payment on our house. They've been very accepting.
Oddly enough this year I know work in the same building as my MIL and DH. They've worked in the same school for 2 years (he's a tech, she's a principal) and I am now a teacher there so sometimes its awkward and other times its hysterical the oddness of it all.
I like this topic.
I get along with MH's family fine for the most part. FIL is really easy to get along with and I know he loves and accepts me. We don't really see hime tha often, maybe once a month or every other month, and I like that just fine.
SIL and MIL are a little different. They bother me sometimes and I know they don't like that I am opinionated and speak my mind. MH is so opposite of that and for years he just went along with whatever they wanted. SIL tried to out do me sometimes and I don't like that, especially in my house. For example, I threw a little birthday celeberation for MH with SIL, MIL, FIL and their spouses. SIL was running around like it was her house, putting out appetizers, setting the table, getting drinks and so forth. I don't think of myself as a bad hostess but she was beating me to everything. I think the biggest thing is that MH and I are very laid back and go with the flow type of people and MIL and SIL are super uptight and controlling.
Also MH's family is super small. My family is super large. So the dynamics are totally different. He family is quiet and my family is loud. His family is boring and my family is not boring...
So we get along fine on the durface but I don't always feel accepted by SIL and MIL.
I'm still trying to adjust to some differences, too. My family is big on planning and usually pretty far in advance. DH's family does not plan and often decides things day of. This becomes a problem when we've already made plans with my family and then MIL gets upset when we can't do their thing. which they just decided on.
TTC #1 since 08/11 IUI#2 = BFP!
That's us too. I have three older brothers, all married or long-term paired off, so MH not only got chatty opinionated me but 6 siblings like that too, plus my very outgoing mom (and introverted dad). Meanwhile, FIL is verrrry old-school European in being quiet and almost closed-off, MIL is friendly but still pretty reserved, and BIL and his girlfriend are only slightly more outgoing.
They all live about 600 miles away and we see them twice a year, so there's no interference in our daily lives. H calls his parents once a week but I rarely talk to them. They accepted me pretty easily, but because they're definitely not demonstrative in their feelings, I actually had to ask MH if they liked me after we'd visited a few times. He assured me they did, but I honestly couldn't tell for myself until maybe last year.
TTC #1 since January 2013