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Allright ladies, talk me down from the ledge...
So, I know this is a normal freak-out but I need you guys to talk some rationality into me...
As most of you know, DH and I have not been on the same page about when to start the babymaking....I've been ready since last year, and up until recently he would run from the room screaming any time I brought the subject up.
We agreed to re-address the issue seriously around our two year anniversary, which was last week. So, after a tense few days of DH still trying to avoid the topic and me finally loosing my patience, we had a real heart to heart and are FINALLY on the same page....DH said that he is ready to start TTC next month! Crazy right?
So....of course, now my mind is racing a mile a minute and it is filled with thoughts like "but there are soooo many things I want to doooo first! We can't start trying now! It's too soon!"
Huh??
I've been wanting to do this for almost a year, why am I starting to freak out now like we are jumping into this so quickly?
I know it's because it's a HUGE decision, and because I was used to DH not being ready to it felt like it was really far off, and now that it's here....eek!
Talk me down, ladies. Remind me that this is what I want, and that it is normal to be nervous!
Re: Allright ladies, talk me down from the ledge...
It is completely normal to be nervous, scared and freaked about having a baby. Its a really big decision, and its good to give it lots of time and consideration.
I still have moments where I'm like "what did we do? are we really ready for this???" and its all normal - but if there are things you really want to do before TTC, maybe get a few of those things done. Or if say, one of those things is a trip to England (for example), maybe you could turn the trip into part of your "baby-making". hee hee.
I went to the ob/gyn last week and told her we were going to start trying in a year. And I got the run down of things I should be doing and it totally freaked me out. I am ready to be mentally ready in a year, not now.
But, with that being said, you should be ready when you are ready. If there are things you want to do first, then do them. There's nothing wrong with that. BUT, also, there is never a perfect time. There are always more things to do. At some point you need to say, "I am going to do this now." But don't rush yourself. There's no need. You're young.
I agree with what both pp's are saying!
But do you have a concrete list of the 'things' that you (and DH) want to do? Maybe writing it all down will help you figure out when exactly they can get done; like Liza said, maybe if it's another big trip, turn that into to a babymaking trip
or a babymoon a few months before the baby is born (hey, that can be *2* big trips!) 
. Once you have the list, you can divide it into Before the Baby, During Pregnancy and After the Baby. Especially if it takes a while to get pg (and i'm in NO WAY jinxing you!), you may have a bit more time to get said things done.
As DH and i talk about kids in the future, i know one of my big 'to do's' is travel. DH and has done quite a bit of traveling, so he's okay if we don't take as many trips as i daydream about. Plus, i have to remind myself that we can always have the grandparents come visit and watch kids while we step out for a jaunt away.
GL! And i'm soooooooooo glad that you and your DH are on the same page now!! How exciting!!
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i think it's totally normal to be freaking out. it was a more abstract "down the road" concept and now it's more real because DH is on board. and starting a family is a huge, life-changing decision. i think it would be weird to not be a little freaked out by all of it.?
I have no experience with this issue because DH and I are both still at least several years away from even considering kids (if at all), but I can understand freaking out about making a big decision! Any big decision I've made was preceded by a freakout moment, LOL. Give it a little more time (like a few days or even a couple of weeks) to really determine whether this is just a normal "freakout" moment or if your gut is telling you that you may not be ready after all. It's such a huge milestone in life so of course you're gonna feel panicked at first! Good luck!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DYeah, I think this is it right here. Of course, there will always be more things for me to do - I'll always want to go on another trip, or loose a few more pounds....but I need to remind myself that it's not like I stop having a life when there is baby involved! Things will be different but I can still do things after a baby!
Thanks for the support ladies. I have rationally talked to myself over the past year and decided I am ready, just now that it is actually *here* it's a little freaky!
CONGRATS!!!!!!!!
Remind yourself that your life is not over once you have a child. Me and Dh bring Ethan out to dinner and on vacation all the time and he is only 10 months. He is very well travelled already, so he does freak out when he is at a restaurant or in public. YOU WILL BE FINE!! I can not tell you how many people compliment us on how cute ethan is and how well he did on the airplain!!! Also it is a huge step, but remember you have 9 months to get used to the idea of a baby being around and I still have times that i am a tad shocked that we have a baby and its been 19 months since I was in your spot. its perfectly normal to feel how you feel! Enjoy every second it goes by fast.
Everything these ladies said! You'll just know when you're ready!
The hubby and I haven't officially started TTC just yet. We've determined it's best to wait 'til after my bro's wedding (the end of next month), due to all the family BS, plus I don't want to be sick and have to travel to FL. But, being we're ready and there will always be something that's going to come up, we're just going for it (family BS or not).
Best wishes on whatever you decide! No worries tho'...when the time is right, you'll know!
I think you can go to both extremes in this area: either put off kids indefinitely because you are always going to have things to do or have kids before you do all the things that you wanted to do. At some point, you have to find the middle ground. Don't forget-- you're life isn't over after kids, it's just different. That does mean you get to live a life that's independent from being a mom. It just is more difficult sometimes to be that other person too.
Trust me it stays "surreal" right up until and after you give birth. One week before my due date DH said "I'm not sure we really NEED to have kids" Um, ...too late my dear. Now that we're working on #2, I've got a whole new kind of freaking out going on. (how on earth can I/we handle TWO?)
THe nice thing is that once you're knocked up , you still have 9 months to get used to the idea and "tidy up your life" if need be. So, really the only "to do's" that you must get out of the way are the ones that involve drinking into oblivion, hang gliding, and horseback riding. And the drinking and horseback riding can always come after baby. Once you're responsible for a little one, the hang gliding, bungee jumping, extreme mountain climbing aspirations are likely to fade into dust.
I'm literally LOLing at your response here!
But Danielle, I do agree with what the other ladies are saying. It can be really scary when you realize that this is for real and you aren't just discussing having kids anymore. I think a lot of people, even when they're trying, may think "OMG, what are we getting ourselves into?" I do believe that you can't do everything before the baby comes and you will have time to do things after the baby comes. You can always travel with the baby (although I haven't taken Sasha on a plane yet), you can still go out with your girlfriends, you can still do things you want to do (maybe modified a bit, like dna said you may want to reconsider bungee jumping). Good luck!
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Thank you ladies.
The one thing I HAVE to do before we start trying is take some more budoir shots. I want to preserve the image of what I look like pre-babies....so that when I am done with baby-making for good, I can take it the plastic surgeon and say "make me look like THAT again, please!"