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bridesmaid question (semi-long)
Here's a little background. My younger brother just got engaged a couple of weeks ago - this will be his second marriage. He got married the first time in 2003 and has a 5 yr old daughter (who I adore!) from that marriage. The divorce went through early this year - maybe January? Anyway, I'm sure ex doesn't know about the new engagement.
He emails me over facebook yesterday and asks if I would be a BM in the wedding. But I have never met the girl, who he's been dating maybe 6 months. My first response was "I don't even know her" and then "when's the wedding?" since we were all kind of surprised at the engagement. My parents have met her, and he's brought her to their house to stay for weekends, and my niece likes her. My parents don't dislike her, but I'm not sure how much they like her, if that makes sense.
I wrote him asking when the wedding was planned for. He said they haven't set a date, but they are looking at 2 years from now. Anyway, my one concern was that it was going to be too soon, which I couldn't do with the baby, but since the baby will likely be 1 1/2 or 2, that would be do-able. Still, I don't know if I should commit to anything since I've never even met her. DH said I should just say yes because I'm essentially doing it for my brother, not for her.
Thoughts?
Re: bridesmaid question (semi-long)
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
Is this his idea, or hers? Does she even know he's asking you?
If my brother were asking, I'd give him a tentative yes and tell him I'd like to meet her first and make sure she's okay with it.
So much could change in 2 years, I wonder why they feel the need to set the wedding party so quickly!
I would say yes because she will be part of your family, but tell your brother you want to meet the FI beforehand. You have plenty of time to get to know one another, so tell him you don't want to rush things. Hopefully the FI doesn't take it the wrong way, but really I'm sure she wants to meet you too since a BM is such a big part of the wedding day and planning.
My question, too! I think your DH right, too. It could make things really awkward later on if you said no. Hope she's a sweetie!
Ugh, I never even thought of this. I HOPE so, but you never know.
Then again, I always thought it was the brides place to ask her bridesmaids. Because I would be standing up for her, right?
I'd probably say yes, simply because they're looking at a date 2 years away, so there's plenty of time to meet her.
Otherwise, I don't know how open your brother and his GF would be to this idea, but you could always suggest that you stand on HIS side instead - lots of couples are doing mixed sexes on their side of the wedding party these days, since more and more people are asking friends and family who are significant to them and not who just happen to be the right gender.
I am thinking the same thing. My idea was say "Yes, I would love to be included in the wedding. When it gets closer, we should decide where I fit in. Since I haven't met her, I kind of feel like I should be standing on your side."
Newlyweds since 2007