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Well, looks like he's deploying...
Pardon the XP with the military newlyweds board...
Nothing official yet, but it looks like DH will be deploying in Jan. In the scheme of things it could be a lot worse. For one, he'll only be underway for three months. Two, he's not going into a war zone...he's riding a ship that was in for repairs back to its home port (east coast to west coast, around S America). He'll be on the west coast for a few months afterwards, before we move to our new location.
I'll deal with the deployment. Will miss him, but will deal. Its part of what I signed up for when I married him. What I'm not looking forward to is selling the house on my own. Also, since our house is on the market we've moved our dog up to his sisters temporarily. I'm insisting that if he's gone, the dog comes back. His sister is due to have a baby in Jan and has said she can't keep the dog after the kid comes...and I just don't see the need to have both my guys gone. DH and I are butting heads on the dog issue. He has a point about the dog not being there helping the house to sell (not everyone likes pets, blah blah blah), but I think I have a point too. Thoughts?
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Re: Well, looks like he's deploying...
Sorry he's leaving but at least he's not going somewhere dangerous. In the grand scheme of things, you got pretty lucky.
I agree with you on wanting the dog - there is no way I would be able to sleep well with DH gone and no dogs. Although it would definitely be easier to sell a house sans dog hair, smell, paraphenalia, and actual dog, I would deal with it and the extra cleaning for the reassurance of having a watch dog (even though my dogs probably wouldnt know what to do if something happened, I would at least be alerted to it).
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It sounds like you're dealing with the news of his deployment very well, your husband is lucky to have a supportive wife like you.
As for the dog issue, I totally agree with you. You should be able to have your dog while he's gone. I think the only problem with having a dog while you're trying to sell a house is that you may have to vaccum more incase his fur is around, and pick up his toys/food whenever anyone comes over to look at the house, and that wouldn't take too long. And if people are coming over you could always leave with the dog. That's what we did when my parents were showing our house when I was a kid.
Sorry to hear he's leaving but at least it will be short and he will be safe.
I don't think having the dog there would make it too much harder to sell. I'm not a big pet person (bad experience) but if the house was kept clean, I would be open to buying a house once occupied by pets. If you walk in and it smells like wet dog or animal waste it is one thing but if the owner actually takes care of the pet, it's not a big deal. Having a watchdog would be more than worth it.
Sorry about the deployment. Like you said, it's something you signed up for, so you knew it was going to happen (but I am sure that doesn't make it any easier).
As far as the dog goes, honestly, how much mess does a dog make? Do you have carpets or hard wood? If I was moving into a new house, I don't think the previous owners having a dog would make much of a difference to me (even if I wasn't a dog owner). If I was moving into a new house, I would probably replace the carpeting anyway, or get it thoroughly cleaned before I moved in.
What doesn't kill ya, will only make you stronger.
I would want the dog, for my own piece of mind.
Hopefully I can make him see my POV on this one. It would be so depressing to come home to an empty house that already doesn't really feel like home (its all set with staging, so a lot of our personality is out of it). The dog would be extra work. I'd have to vacuum pretty much daily. We have hard wood with some rugs. There are only a couple of rugs that the dog is on regularly though when he's home (livingroom and bedroom). I'd have to put his food dish, bed & any toys out of sight for showings. Basically I'd need enough notice to pack his stuff up, run a vaccuum around, and get out of there. IMHO it would be worth the trade off of having some company there.
I compromised when I agreed to let him go to the SIL from Oct-Jan (when SIL is due, she said she could take him till the baby comes). Its breaking my heart to think that the dog may think we don't want him anymore (we both miss him sooo much and can't wait to get him back).
As for dealing with the news well...I've kind of known it might happen for a while. Its not a shocker for me. I realize there are others out there whose SO is gone for 15+ months, so I'm totally getting off easy here...plus come next spring I have an excuse for a trip to Cali. In all reality I won't see much of DH in Dec either...they do work ups (practice being out to sea, usually means short stints offshore) leading up to deployments. I more or less did that this summer when he was gone for weeks at a time. Did so with the dog might I add. I know how key the dog was to making this summer more bearable...not sure that he quite 'gets' that.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Oh Junebug, I'm sorry. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Mike starts a new training program next Monday in which he'll be gone M-F for 10 weeks, then bouncing all of the country for the following 14 months, then spending 10-11 months out of the year either in Afghanistan or out of town training for it. The life of a military spouse is NOT easy. I know it's hard for our husbands too, but they have absolutely no clue what it's like for us at home. In some ways, I think we have it harder. We got our dog as a means to keep me occupied when Mike started this new program. If I were you, I'd absolutely put my foot down and say that I'm keeping the dog while he's away. Yes, it will be more work to keep your house staged while you're trying to sell it. Honestly though, I can't imagine you having a dog would make that big of a difference on potential buyers. It wouldn't matter to me if I were buying. Plus, I think the companionship will more than make up for the extra work that you may have to do.
If you ever need to vent your frustrations while he's away, we're all here to support you. Good luck!
Right now he's focused on himself. I get that. He's seeing that this means he won't be around for about 6 months (with workups and such). He's realizing his workload will increase. He kind of pissed me off with a comment earlier today that "all this means for you is that you'd be alone for a few months" Um, no. Not all it means. It means I'm selling our house on my own. It means I'm dealing with the military movers, for my first military move ever, on my own. It means I'm searching for and (God willing) finding a new job on my own. It means I'm potentially finding us a new place to live on my own. If the dog isn't there it means that I'm coming home every single night to a dark empty house. No dog means I'm on my own to deal with the bumps in the night (having the dog there is reassuring for those). No dog means my pre-work or post-work jogs, in the dark because winter is awesome, will be on my own too. It means my only company at home is the TV or the internet (don't know many people here). Yeah, its better than having to be at work for 6 months straight...but he's not the only one that his being gone impacts. I don't think it should be a contest for who it sucks more for. I think we should be working together to make things the best we can for everyone involved...and that includes the dog.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Me too. I hope you get your dog.
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