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I'm really effing hurt right now
I just got a b!tchy email from a cousin of mine. We were best friends growing up, but as we've gotten older we've grown apart somewhat - not on purpose, just because she's very busy with her family and job, I live overseas, etc.
Anyway, she demanded to know why I hadn't told her about the twins directly, said "we used to be best friends, so can you act like it every once in a while?" and said she's "tired of my distant relative sh!t."
I'm so upset right now that I'm crying. I know I'm hormonal and crap, but I'm also really hurt. Distant relative sh!t? Is she
kidding me? The last time I got a personal email from her (she's in the music business and sends
out mass newsletters about where she's performing, etc., so that's
pretty much all I get from her) was like a year and a half ago. The last several emails I've sent her have gone unanswered. Every time I go to the USA, I go out of my way to visit her, even if she only has a couple hours free to see me.
The only people we've told directly about me being pregnant are our immediate family members - we decided to rely on the good ole grapevine to spread the word to everyone else, not only to save having to call everyone personally (I don't have email addresses for probably 2/3 of them), but just because I'm trying to be as calm and positive about this pregnancy as I can but I'm still nervous and worried about another loss. Plus, frankly, I don't feel like having seventy thousand conversations (and is that not a little weird to expect? I dunno - I didn't think anyone personally called every single one of their relatives to tell them that they were knocked up).
So I told her all of that, very bluntly. I don't care if it makes me a cow and I should have taken the high road and politely explained how I felt. I didn't feel like it. I'm nervous about this pregnancy and I'm hurt and furious right now and I don't care if she knows. Hell, I WANT her to know.
I'm sorry...I really needed someplace to vent. I'm just so hurt by her right now.
Re: I'm really effing hurt right now
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
it's REALLY hard with being hormonal to deal with other people's crap! Just do the best you can. It's NOT about her. This PG is about you (well, and Ben and the babies). She needs to deal.
Maybe she's having a bad time right now too, but that's still no excuse to take it out on you.
{{{HUGS}}}
I just heard back from her after I sent my reply...she apologized for her earlier email and said that she's sorry for what she wrote, but she misses the closeness we used to have and she wants to catch up.
I feel a bit better now - I still think it was a crappy email for her to send in the first place, but at least she's admitted it was crappy, so that's good. I do hope we can be better friends again...maybe not in the same way we were as kids (and she'll have to be more understanding if I don't give her all my news first), but I do hope we can work something out.
Aww, so sorry =( Yeah, maybe she's just having a bad day and taking it out on the wrong person or something. I mean, it's not like she's done anything on her end (only mass e-mailing you and ignoring all the last several e-mails that you did send her) to personally communicate to YOU anything about her personal life to even be justified to feel hurt that you didn't personally tell her about yours. So yeah, I think she *should* know that she's out of line here, so I think you e-mailing back what you did is perfectly fine.
Edit: I'm glad she wrote back and apologized though...yeah, hopefully she'll be nicer from now on out and things will work out.
Ugh! People suck. Even if they're family. Sounds like your cousin is used to it being all about her more often than not. Good for you for saying you piece...she needs to get a grip. You don't owe anyone an explaination for how you're handling your pregnacy...it's your business. Period.
Hang in there and know that no one can steal your joy...even your selfish cousin. (((hugs)))
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