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MILR: WHY does it bother me so much?
I have posted before about how even though I love my MIL and get along with her very well, since Nicholas was born, she has been a lot harder to handle. I already told you guys how she was going through and re-organizing our drawers in our home when she was watching him during the day - everything from our pots and pans to my underwear (nothing a mess to begin with)! Okay, so I had a conversation with her about it and she applogized over and over explaining that she was just trying to help and didn't think it was a big deal. I was fine it was over. Whatever.
So, she works in a school and they were off yesterday and today so she asked to watch him. Of course, no problem. So, she came to our house yesterday morning and I had Nick up, dressed and fed by the time she got there. Fine. So, I leave and she decides to go through his drawers finding something she found to be cuter than what I had dressed him in. I noticed when I came home and he didn't have the original outfit on, nor the any of the extra items I had packed into his diaper bag in case he needed to be changed for any reason. When I asked this morning where she had gotten the outfit, she said "I didn't touch anything, I swear" and then I said, "It's fine, it's just not what he was wearing or anything I packed for him" and she said, "Okay! I went into his drawers to find something I liked better, but that was right on top, I swear!"
I don't want to make a federal case out of it - and I didn't, but I just needed to vent! Does no one else find this annoying?
Re: MILR: WHY does it bother me so much?
I would be annoyed that she lied about it.
Changing your son for no reason means more laundry for you, so yeah that would be annoying as well.
I would probably be nice and ask her not to do it anymore, but I wouldn't make a big stink about it.
Seems like she's mixing to seperate issues together. It's not like you have an issue with her going in Nicholas' drawer to get something, but rearranging everything in sight is totally different.
And, I guess I'd chalk her wanting to change his outfit up to a small annoyance on its own, but all together I can see how she would irritate.
The first offense (organizing your underwear and pots and pans) would really bother me.
Playing dress-up with the wee-man, not so much. It's fun to dress babies up, and it doesn't seem as invasive as organizing your crotchless panties.
I don't know if that would bother me that much. I always think they miss having a baby in the house and it's more novelty to dress them up in what they like. Kind of like playing dolls.
The rearranging of pots and pans and undies, however, is a different story. I would be MORTIFIED if my MIL rearranged my undies drawer! I think that is really weird.
This.
My mom has bought my nephew SOO many outifts - he hasn't repeated a single article of clothing once and my SIL hasn't bought him anything either.
LOL!!
What are you doing in my panties, MrsZ?!
You're just on edge because she crossed so many boundaries at first ...
I wouldn't get upset about changing Nicholas' clothes, though. I'm sure you enjoying dressing him up .. so does she! Let her go with that ... I make sure to leave my son in his pjs on Grandma days because she likes to pick out his clothes. No big deal ...
Going through N's drawers and changing him wouldn't bother me. Its part of the fun of babysitting for her probably.
What would bother me is how defensive she was about it and how she lied to you! And of course, going through things that should obviously be private is a problem as well.
This actually does make me feel better. Thank you!!
You know what? You are so spot on here. Still, she really could just say, "would you mind if I changed his clothes before we go to my house?" if I said, "Sure, but why?" (which I would) and she said, "Oh I don't know, just for fun!" I would NO problem with that and would totally leave him in PJ's on Nonna days, but jus 1. ask and 2. don't lie if I ask you. No? It really is no big deal!
You guys are right that this isn't a big deal. I know it isn't, yet it is annoying me more than I think it should. I think it's absolutely true that had she not previously crossed boundaries (usually unintentionally) this wouldn't be such an annoyance to me.
DH's response: "Was the child dressed? Yes? Than who cares, Babe?"
LOL, he's right and so are you guys. Thank you.
I would be annoyed. Not enough to make a stink, but it seems a little passive-aggressive to me. The baby was dressed. You packed extra outfits. She had to go through his drawers and find something cuter? Give me a slight break here. If this was the only thing I'd say it's no big deal, but considering she has also gone through your personal drawers, I'd say she's got a bit of a controlling personality.
In whose world is it ever ok/normal/appropriate to go into a grown person's underwear drawer? Ever? For any reason?
If I folded someone's laundry, and it had some underwear in it, I would just put it neatly on top of their dresses. Although I would feel a bit guilty about being in their room even for that brief time. I consider people's bedrooms to be very private.
If you've noticed the organisation of stuff...you can guarantee that she has opened every other drawer and cupboard in your house.
I agree that her changing the wee boy is a slight irritation and has a lsight note of, "Your selection wasn't good enough", I would let it go because on the grand scheme it's not that big a deal.
I would not have been polite about my underwear drawer.