June 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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I'm Confused
Got an email from my bro & ev-SIL that says that for Xmas they haveother plans Xmas Eve and Morning, but plan to be there at my grams in the afternoon. Little weird for them not to join the rest of our immediate family that morning (its not a matter of plans with her family, they live too far away to double up with my Grams), but whatever. If they want a quiet xmas morning to themselves, good for them. It will be nice in some senses to not deal with them, though in others its kind of disappointing in that my parents won't get a chance to have xmas morning with all their kids.
Thats not whats confusing me though. Whats confusing me is that in the same email as he said "We're keeping things to a minimum this year. Spending time with loved ones is all we really need." He also says, "As for ideas: wedding registry is still up as well as GC to this, that and the other store are good." Either way it doesn't change what DH and I had in mind for them as its not about what we get in return, but I'm a little concerned about putting them on the spot. It kinda sounds like they're saying that they don't intend to do much for gifts, but will welcome getting things.
How would you interpret what he wrote?
ETA: I may DD this in the future. EvSIL has been known to visit TN.
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BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
Re: I'm Confused
Thats kind of what I'm figuring, just do things as planned and expect nothing in return. From the other stuff he wrote, it sounds like they may be going the homeade route, which is totally fine. My concern is really more that I don't want to put them on the spot, KWIM?
One other question: If they aren't coming by my parents to exchange gifts with the rest of our family, when would you give them their things? I'm thinking subtly at my Grams because it will be when I see them on xmas day and also because it would save me shipping costs (I'm driving up for the weekend, so no extra to just bring stuff with me). WWYD?
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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Based on their e-mail, it doesn't sound like they'd feel put on the spot at all. It sounds like they'd like to get gifts. I also think it's fine to bring everything to your Grams'.
I think their e-mail and their approach was pretty jerky.
October 2013 February Siggy Challenge: Valentine's Day Fail
EDD 10/3/13
I'm gonna agree with Zee on this one. They're saying, "Hey sure, if you want to get us gifts, this is what we want, but don't be surprised when we don't get you anything."
They're probably just throwing it out there to warn people that they're not buying ppl stuff. I think a lot of people assume that giving a gift is a reason to expect a gift in exchange.
Glad to hear I'm not the only one that interpreted it that way. Just seems like a mixed message. I guess I'll just do things as I'd planned anyways.
Regarding the it being kinda jerky to say it in an email...this is the only direct contact either of them has had with me aside from stuff regarding my cousins funeral since our wedding. No email to tell me they moved. No birthday wishes last week (this is only a point because ev-SIL pitched a fit on hers--aka our wedding day, though thankfully not in public). I'm actually kind of surprised they responded at all, they rarely bother to (ie I hosted T-giving last year and they never bothered to let me know if they could make it). I'm fine hearing from them as little as possible. They pulled a lot of sh*t in the days surrounding the wedding, stuff I'm still floored they'd do. I've been realizing lately I'm apparently still hurt & bitter about that and the other stuff thats gone down the past couple years. It really says a lot that I'm to the point that I'd be OK with not having my own brother in my life anymore. He's become someone that I don't recognize or understand, and he acts in ways that our parents taught us better than. But I digress...
Oh well, will be nice to have a relaxing holiday with the rest of the family w/o having to walk on eggshells.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
You're a saint for even considering giving them a gift. And you shouldn't feel guilty that you're still upset that they treated you badly. It's not like you're throwing a fit and acting terribly - you're just hurt. That's ok and you're allowed to feel how you feel.
We cut EvSIL off in July and we're still having to deal with her crap. I can feel my blood pressure spike just thinking about it - even moreso than it does from my thesis which I have a month to write!
If you are on any kind of speaking terms and want to salvage the relationship, I'd make plans with just your bro and say that you want a relationship and you respect him and his wife and their relationship and want to find a way to move forward. If EvSIL made any kind of civil effort like that with us, we'd be open to it.
October 2013 February Siggy Challenge: Valentine's Day Fail
EDD 10/3/13
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~