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Am I being a biotch?
Let me begin this by saying we are trying to save money to buy a house so big purchases are usually something we try to avoid if they aren't necessary. We are also going to Jazz fest in May in New Orleans which is already planned.
Husband's best friend moved to Texas last year and he went to go visit him without me back in March. No big deal whatsoever. Tickets were something like $300 and I told him that I didn't mind if he went and I didn't really want to go anyway. He was going there to visit a friend and their new baby and didn't have to blow a shitton of money on a hotel / eating out every night.
Right around the time of our wedding husband mentioned doing a guys weekend in Vegas sometime next March. I told him that I don't think it was a good idea because between hotel / flight / food / gambling he would EASILY spend $1200 for a weekend away, which I think is a huge waste of money.
On the other hand, my best friend just moved to London for grad school and I really want to go visit her in March (Dave Matthews Band is playing also). Plane tickets are a little less than $300 and I wouldn't have to spend money on a place to stay or anything. I am thinking this trip would be similar to the trip he took to visit his friend.
I mentioned going to London to H and he threw in my face the fact that I shot down his idea of going to Vegas and that it wasn't fair that I could go to London, while Vegas was completely out of the question. Do you think I am wrong thinking it's okay to go to London since he went to TX to visit his friend even though I said hell no to Vegas?
Re: Am I being a biotch?
Being a ***, no.
I think you need to check your priorities. You want a house, which means you need to save money (and you said yourself, you avoid big purchases if they aren't necessary)
Just because your husband got to take a trip to TX, doesn't mean you need to take a trip.
On another level, your husband went to Texas to see a friend who just had a baby; that a life changing event, he wanted to be there for them. It does sound somewhat selfish to me that you say your H can't go to vegas and have a great time, but you can go half way around the world to see your bf, and Dave Matthews.
I get what you are saying and if the world was fair, I would say you get to go to London since he went to Texas. However, when you were ok with him going to TX were you thinking you would get to go somewhere in the future for a similar expense? Are you justifying london because he went to TX?
Being rational, no I dont think its fair for you to get to go to London to visit a friend but he can't go to Vegas. Maybe you can both go to London if its that important? If you are really trying to save money, neither of you should go on either trip.
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Half way around the world - no. Really, going to London is no different than flying to Cali (as far as distance goes).
I think in the back of my head bottom line it's all about the cost of the trip and nothing more. Vegas would equal a shitton of money, and London would equal about the same amount of money that TX did.
And just to note: The friend he went to visit had a trip planned back up here a few weeks after H was down there. He was going down there to visit his friend and have some fun. He came home pissed off and disappointed that they didn't do anything fun and regretted going.
Haha gmk, I like your reasoning.
And yes, when he went to TX I said to him that I would be going to St. Thomas without him. (It was half jokingly, but he got the point).
Originally I wasn't thrilled with him going to TX bc the friend he was going to see was coming up here a few weeks following, so I just didn't see the point on wasting the money to go down there for 3 days when he could see his friend a couple weeks later when he came up here.
Nope...and I would totally use your arguments in a similar position. Plus the fact that the trip he took originally could have been avoided by simply waiting until his friend came up.
I would tell him exactly what you said here...he went to tx to visit his friend the grand total of trip was $X; Vegas is out of the question right now UNLESS he can do it ALL on $300 or less (or pick another amount that suits you) and you are going to London (for the same amount of expense)because he got to go to TX. It isn't fair he gets to vacation without you and you don't get to go on your own. Maybe he can plan the guys' weekend to Vegas the following March...andhe can start saving now.
It costs $300 less for you to fly to London than it did for my boss to fly to Oklahoma City a few months ago. OKC is 300 miles away.
THIS IS NOT FAIR.
This.
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tl;dr
Hee, no, just kidding. I agree with everyone else. I think you're in the right for a $300 trip to London. I just priced it out myself and it was over 1k a person!
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
I agree. We're trying to save money too, and the only trips we've ever taken were to my husband's family's beach house and when we drove down to SC for our honeymoon. It's all relative though - I'm a teacher at a fairly low-paying private school and my husband is living off student loan money, so we have very little income. However...I do think that if you're trying to save up for a house, taking trips is probably not the most money-saving idea.
I would totally go to London. Hands down. $300 for a ticket to Europe is a steal, plus who knows how long you will have free lodging,etc. GO.
And I think that it is totally reasonable to tell him that you are going to do London for the same amount that he spent in TX. That Vegas could not be done for that cheap, etc.
Do you two use "fun money" or anything like that in your budget? A great way around these sort of debates is that each person gest $xx each week or month or whatever to spend how they want. No arguing, no defending needed. We use ours for things like manicures, cigarettes(him), magazines, drinks with friends, etc. etc. It can also be saved up for things like solo trips, etc. That would seem to solve these kind of bickering fights about who gets to spend what, etc.