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Need some honest advice

I have only talked to one other person about this and I really don't want to go into detail since things are so up in the air right now and since I don't want to air too much of my personal business over the internet (like I don't do that already lol) but I have a two part question that I would love some more opinions on .

1. If your husband was considering a career change that would result in you having to move somewhere else in the country from where you are now would you be willing to move? Would you be excited or would you be mad?

 **Please note this is a career change and not a job like a military wife where this was to be expected when you agreed to marry him.

2. If you had to choose between two states in the US to live in at least for a couple of years where would you like to go and why? Preferably somewhere not cold. 

Extra details if they are needed, this is a stable job, it is high paying and it has great benefits. If that would factor into your decision.

Please tell me the truth! You will not offend me in any way. I am confused about how I feel about all of this and I would love some honest opinions. I repeat I will not be offended if you have something negative to say lol

Thanks girls!



 

Re: Need some honest advice

  • I don't mind moving (however, I have military parents and I am used to moving). If it were a great offer, and had great benefits, I think it would be hard for us to turn it down.

    States:

    1. Oregon. I have been trying to get back up there for years, and things never really allowed for that to happen. I have been trying to convince David for a few years to move back up there with me. I would move there because: there are lots of outdoors activities, it's beautiful, it's environmentally friendly, there's no sales tax, it has beaches and mountains, and you can't pump your own gas (all full service stations). And for teachers, great school districts.

    2. Southern California (San Diego). I would move there because: it has fantastic weather year round (avg 70s). There are beautiful beaches, lots of stuff to do. My one drawback, it is very expensive.

    I am biased to both of these places because I basically grew up between the two, and I have family in both. That's where I would live if I could go anywhere though.

    I also really like Denver, but you said no cold weather, so that's out, haha. 

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  • I keep erasing everything I type because I keep having random thoughts =)

    1. Don't be mad. If your husband is considering this career change because he's unhappy or because he wants to better provide for his family, then you have to at least give his idea a chance.

    2. How soon would this move be? How would this work out with your schooling and career path? I know that's important to you, so you shouldn't be expected to put it on hold for him.

    3. How will this affect your family? Do you plan on having children? Would you want to raise them somewhere else? Do you want to be closer or further from your family? Does your husband really want to be away from his?

    4. This is definitely not a "military" situation. This is a decision you need to make together, not something you have to accept.

    5. As far as choices go, it would depend on what they are. San Francisco? Washington? New York? When's the flight? Idaho? Not so much.

  • I think Jamie said it perfect.  You should always consider something that would better your lives in the long run.  Take into consideration the benefits, cost of living, school districts, etc.

    But also take into consideration your school.  You've worked hard to get where you are and you don't want to move and lose credits or something.

    It sounds like you have a lot to discuss.  Ain't married life great?  ;)

    As for where I'd move to, I'm too used to seeing my family very often so I wouldn't handle moving out of state too well.  But if I had to, I really enjoyed Massachusetts and northern California when I visited there. 

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  • Thanks girls I forgot to add that in about school. We have talked about that. I am not leaving here until I graduate. If this all goes according to plan and he decides he wants to do this, if it came down to us having to move, I would stay here until I finish. 


  • Ditto what Jamie said.  And now that you've clarified that you will finish school before this move occurs...

    1.  I would be all over moving.  It would just be gravy if my husband had an awesome job and benefits to go along with it.  But it would have to be a mutual decision that both of you are happy about.

    2.  I think my first choice would be South Carolina.  It's still considered a southern state and I hear the Carolina's are absolutely gorgeous year round.  My second choice would probably be Virginia.  I've only visited either state for a short amount of time but I am so sick and tired of the crappy weather here, that I want to move somewhere that doesn't only have 2 seasons...hot and hotter.

    HTH, hun!  Good luck.  It's a huge decision.  =)

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  • That's some pretty heavy stuff for you guys. I think it all comes down to how you feel right now (or when you graduate). When I graduated, I was excited to try and move away. We spent a couple of years in Tampa and had a blast. If DH wanted to do something similar now, I would have a really big problem with it. I just feel settled now, whereas I never really have before.

    He actually is trying to warn me that this situation may be coming when he graduates next year, but I'm putting my head in the sand for now. I guess if it really came down to an excellent opportunity in a cool place, then I'd say yes and pack my things. It just feels like the right thing to do.

    How about one of the Carolinas? They have mountains and beaches, and you'd be pretty close to home. Florida was a very fun place to live. There are so many cool places to go and fun things to do. Summer sucks and the rest of the year is great, just like here. I love Ali's suggestions too. So Cal, Denver and the Pac Northwest are all at the top of my list.

    Let us know how it all develops.

  • I wouldn't want to move b/c our family is here and I wouldn't want to be any from them. However, since you are not from here, it's not as much an issue for you.

    2. Closeness: TX or MS

    Opportunity: Hawaii or idk. lolz

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  • I would be willing to move to Texas (must be near a big city, preferably Austin), Tennessee near Nashville, Florida, Goergia
  • I would think that in your hubz line of work MD or VA would be great options for the both you. The school systems there are incredible and well paying. The only caveat is the high cost of living. THere are parts of DC that are equal to NYC in cost. With that said I think Baton Rouge is pretty expensive regarding cost of living.
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  • 1. I would be excited however from young in life I ventured off and moved to a few different places and did things on my own so I have no problem with starting over and as long as my husband had a great paying stable job I would be more then willing..

    2. Well I would love Nashville!  Actually I think that's where we would move if H could get a great job. Or I would go to Colorado (it's not like a blistering cold..you get snow but then you also get really nice warm days) But since that sometimes is cold I would say Tampa FL...love love love that place and almost moved there before meeting H.  Or San Diego.  I've never been there but everyone I always talk to says it has the most perfect weather and it's a great place.

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