Open letter time

Leigha12 · November 2009

I need this.

Dear Co-Worker,

Yes, I drive fast. I'm aware. Yes, I'm an impatient driver and don't care if I know the person going too slow in the left lane in front of me. Yes, I know it's not the right way to drive. But seriously, 1 day's worth of what you think are wise cracks is enough. Bringing up the same 1 instance over and over again is tired and annoying. You're not clever. Not even slightly, so please STFU and go back to your office to continue not doing work that I will then end up cleaning up months later.

Sincerely,

Fast and Furious Leigha

mofe · November 2009

Dear Kristen Stewart,

You suck at acting. Biting your lip, breathing heavy, and looking cross eyed does not portray good acting skills. Due to your horrible acting skills I will probably not want to see the next Twillight movie. I think they should have replaced you...

Love,

a better actress than you

mamie329 · November 2009

Cosigning my name to mofe's letter.

Dear Coworker,

I don't care if you're not productive. Like yesterday when you spent three hours online Christmas shopping. And when you took a late lunch. And when you knit and read at your desk. Just don't act like you're not pissing off and then point fingers at everyone else's productivity. You big hypocrite.

Irate Coworker

hawkilady · November 2009

Dear hubby:

Cleaning our house is not "doing me a favor," it is just as much your responsibility as it is mine. Yes we need to vaccuum more than once a week, we have 2 70 pound dogs who shed constantly. Yes I prefer you wipe your toothpaste spit off the mirror and shaving clippings off the counter at least weekly. Yes I prefer that we fold and put away the clean laundry instead of leaving it in the basket until we wear it all again. These are not wierd personality disorders that I possess but rather common cleanliness principals that most of the world lives by. Please accept that fact and quit looking at me like I'm a nagging biitch when I ask you to help do these tasks. If you really want to make me happy, you could just do them, without me having to ask. Especially when my mom is coming - you know she's a clean freak and would probably disown me if the dresser was covered in dust.

Love,

Your nagging wife

hawkilady · November 2009

Leigha12:

I need this.

Dear Co-Worker,

Yes, I drive fast. I'm aware. Yes, I'm an impatient driver and don't care if I know the person going too slow in the left lane in front of me. Yes, I know it's not the right way to drive. But seriously, 1 day's worth of what you think are wise cracks is enough. Bringing up the same 1 instance over and over again is tired and annoying. You're not clever. Not even slightly, so please STFU and go back to your office to continue not doing work that I will then end up cleaning up months later.

Sincerely,

Fast and Furious Leigha

And yeah, I've so been there on this one. Multiple times. Especially the day when the cop decided it would be fun to pull me over in the visitors lot for barely running the red light to make it to work on time. That was a fantastic day - the only way I lived that down was to change jobs.

red daisy · November 2009

this.

hawkilady:

Dear hubby:

Cleaning our house is not "doing me a favor," it is just as much your responsibility as it is mine. Yes we need to vaccuum more than once a week, we have 2 70 pound dogs who shed constantly. Yes I prefer you wipe your toothpaste spit off the mirror and shaving clippings off the counter at least weekly. Yes I prefer that we fold and put away the clean laundry instead of leaving it in the basket until we wear it all again. These are not wierd personality disorders that I possess but rather common cleanliness principals that most of the world lives by. Please accept that fact and quit looking at me like I'm a nagging biitch when I ask you to help do these tasks. If you really want to make me happy, you could just do them, without me having to ask. Especially when my mom is coming - you know she's a clean freak and would probably disown me if the dresser was covered in dust.

Love,

Your nagging wife

ChooGirl · November 2009

You'll quickly notice a trend in my aggression...

Dear MIL,

I know that Mr. Choo is the sparkling jewel on your over-embellished crown, but he is also my husband. When he visits you in Florida (which, by the way, I practically have to force him to do when I'm not joining him), I understand that you want to maximize your time with your "baby." However, this does not mean that you are allowed to guilt trip him into limiting his phone time with me. If you think it means that we are "co-dependant" (her words) because he calls me after landing safely, I am going to buy you a dictionary for christmas. Lined with anthrax. Does he call you when he lands safely? Yes. Do I deserve the same call? Yes. Why? COMMON COURTESY.

Signed,

Rose YOUR LAST NAME.

hawkilady · November 2009

Due to recent developments in my workday I'm writing a 2nd letter:

Dear Dumbshiit Boss:

When you voluteer both of us to do a project, especially one as super fun as sorting through your bosses 3,000 emails on whether they need to be submitted to our anti-trust counsel, you should probably stick around. Not go take a 2 hour lunch to find a caterer for your wedding 5 minutes after volunteering us, leaving me to do the project. That means you volunteered me - which sucks - especially when we pay other people to do this - you are just too OCD to trust them. And you wonder why I dont like you.

Signed,

Your unhappy employee

Leigha12 · November 2009

Daer Former Landlord,

It has been 2 weeks since we moved out and left our final check. Cash it already! Don't you know it's not nice to hold on to people's money like that! Oh, and while you're at it, go ahead and send us our deposit back. I know you've already been to the house to look it over...Just get it over with, you'll feel better, I promise!

Sincerely,

Frustrated former tenant

LarkNow · November 2009

hawkilady:

Yes I prefer that we fold and put away the clean laundry instead of leaving it in the basket until we wear it all again.

Oh my god why do they all DO this????

kaleyandjason · November 2009

LarkNow:
hawkilady:

Yes I prefer that we fold and put away the clean laundry instead of leaving it in the basket until we wear it all again.

Oh my god why do they all DO this????

Apparently they do!

MsWildcat · November 2009

Dear Motivation,

Lets start kicking in, okay?

Ms. Wildcat

barbnsteve · November 2009

Dear self,

Please sleep tonight...for a good amount of time. No tossing and turning, no getting up in the middle of the night to pee, and no waking up at 6 am on a Saturday. You need to SLEEP.

your exhausted self,

barb

Dear co-workers,

Learn how to use a computer to type evals. Turn them in PLEASE...it is pathetic that families are not getting evals until at least 6 months after they happened. I HATE having to sign my name to these considering I never wait more than 1 week (YES I SAID ONE WEEK) to turn mine in. It is so unprofessional. Furthermore stop being stupid about every little fricken thing. I'm sick of the all of you hens bitching and moaning. Life happens. GET OVER IT - things could be a lot worse in life, just look around.

kthanksbye,

Barb

kaleyandjason · November 2009

Dear Newest New Girl,

Yes, I have been here two weeks longer than you. I know it isn't much, but I am ahead of you in the training program. So, when I cash a check that a client has wrote to themselves with a payee as CASH, I know she doesn't have to sign the back! Do not correct me.

I have already read the handbook and the dress code. I can wear flat brown dress shoes if my heart so desires. Also, It is probably not a good thing to tell the Teller Supervisor that her shoes are inappropriate.

One more thing. My phone etiquette is just fine. I can tell the client that the woman they need to speak to is busy at the moment and ask to take a message. I may have never been a manager before, but I am not a complete idiot either. Just because you trained 2957830968356 people BEFORE this job, does not make you an expert teller.

Thanks again,

The not as new - new girl

flowerpower3 · November 2009

MsWildcat:
Dear Motivation,
Lets start kicking in, okay?

Ms. Wildcat

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