October 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Rant/whine: Can I quit now?
I hate school... like to the point of crying almost daily. My BFF just quit her job (without having another one lined up) and I'm SOOO JEALOUS! I would never be the kind of person that would quit without having a plan, I'm a total planner.
Also, I get a stipend through school, and they can't fire me, so you've gotta love the job security. And DH is self employed, and business has been rough this year... I just don't know what to dooooo.... (i want to add an emotocon (sp?) but I can't figure it out yet)
Re: Rant/whine: Can I quit now?
MY BLOG!
Well said...
Chick I have so been there. What are you going to school for?
I agree with Millie. I was an academic advisor for a while, and can attest that if you stop school, you may be immediately happy for a while, but ultimately you will regret that description. And by the time you regret that decision, you probably would have been close to, if not, graduated.
What do you hate about school? Do you not like what your studying?
It's just the stress... graduate school is very different from college, at least science PhD school is. It's staying current in the topics, fighting with people CONSTANTLY about why your ideas make sense. Doing whatever you can to get your name in the field. Being the first to publish an idea, while making sure the work is up to the standards of the boss and the journal publishers. I work days, nights, weekends, holidays etc. Although most holidays I'm only in the lab for a couple hours but I've been at work on Mothers day, Easter sunday, thanksgiving morning, new years eve, new years day, etc, etc. It's like a marathon and a sprint at the same time
I am technically getting a PhD in microbiology, although my research is geared more towards neuroscience... which is what really matters. It's not that I don't like what I'm doing, because it really is fascinating... it's just that I want a life too. I don't want to feel guilty for leaving for a weekend... or spending a holiday with my family... but not in this field
Where are you in your degree? Are you still in coursework? Thesis approval? Defending? I'm not going to say that everything you're describing is going to go away after the degree is earned, but at the very least you will get to have more say in what you do and when. That makes a heck of a lot of difference.
Ditto what Cipolla said. I remember how I hated law school my first year and a half. I was in tears nearly every day, I hated it so much - but I was already in too much debt to quit. It was a miserable place to be at the time, but I felt so empowered once it was over, and felt like a true bad ass for just making it through.
I suck at science and so cannot imagine how demanding your program must be, but it sounds like if you can find a way to deal with it and make it through, you could be in the enviable position of writing your own ticket! Does it help to look at it as if you are paying the price now to buy a really amazing life in the not too distant future?
As of right now, I am writing my thesis proposal, and defending my proposal on Dec 11th. Then submitting the proposal to NIH to apply for individual funding. So after Dec 11th, I'll just be doing labwork, and I'll be done with studying forever except for casual reading to keep current. But it turns into a whole different beast, and I've probably got 4 years left.
Yeah maybe all this stuff will go away after my PhD... but if I do a postdoc, it won't. And if I stay in academia, it won't. My bosses are here WAY more than I am, they are very nice people, so I mean this the nicest way possible, but I feel bad for their daughter because I feel like they are never home (holy run-on batman). I mean, at this point, I'm leaning towards a government job (good hours, low stress, high pay, good vacation schedule) but we'll see what happens between now and when I'm done.
I can completely sympathize with you! I'm now in my 5th year in a bio phd program and I am so burned out. Somehow I keep pushing along; probably another 1.5 years left. My DH is a big reason why I'm still in it - he has been very supportive. Some days I'm still excited about what I'm doing, but most days I'm just too exhausted to really think about what I'm feeling! Like you, I work seven days a week, all holidays. In fact, our honeymoon was the only real vacation I've taken since my second year!
But there is hope. Once you are done, you can more carefully choose your next step to suit the lifestyle you envision for yourself. I work at an institute funded 100% by soft money; no one gets tenure and everyone is up for review every few years, no matter how senior. This makes for a very high-pressure environment. This is great in terms of reputation for a grad student, but the lifestyle is extremely demanding. Meanwhile, across the street is a major college campus. They have more assured funding, they have tenure, etc etc. I have friends who work in labs there and hardly ever go in on weekends, and come home every day around 5 or 6. While very few female PIs in my institute have children, almost all the woman scientists I know at the university do have children, and arrange their lives to make time for family. I think you can continue your career in academia, if that's what you want, and yes it will probably be more demanding than some other careers but if you choose your environment really carefully, you can strike a balance.
Anyway, best of luck, hope some of that helps!