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I'm about to do something stupid

I'm sending my dad some money (I mentioned him acting like a child in the "venting" post from yesterday). I told my mom I'm doing it (they are divorced) and she is really mad. I feel so awful and guilty on both sides. I feel bad that my dad is struggling so badly. I feel bad that my mom feels like I'm giving him a hand out when everyone else is working so hard. Just sucks.

I probably shouldn't have told my mom, but I didn't want it to get back to her. I wish I always knew what the right thing to do was. It's not like we're swimming in a vault of money either, this is a big deal for DH & me. I'm also dreading that my dad is taking advantage of me (more so than he already is) and he's not going to use the money for what he said he is and I'll feel like a tool.

Sorry for such a lame post on a Friday afternoon.

Re: I'm about to do something stupid

  • First of all, don't apologize.

    Second, is there any way you can make sure the money is going towards the right things?  Like if he has a bill that needs to be paid, can you write a check to the creditor and send it in on his behalf instead of giving him cash?

    I'm sorry you're in such a tough position.

    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • Oh that's such a good idea!

    I guess I already sort of messed up and made out a money order for him and I'm not sure how to undo that. I think he may have already paid the bills he needs paid with money he borrowed from his employers. I should have sent them a check instead.

    I really want him to use the money I'm sending to pay them back so his job isn't in trouble. He needs a car also (that's where the whole issue started, his died beyond repair, he borrowed my uncles, the brakes went and he had an accident, borrowed money to get that fixed, still out of a car). He found an old, crappy car for cheap, so I'm hoping if he pays back what he owes, his next pay check can go to get that car.

    Unless he is lying to me. I left a voicemail for my uncle to see if it's true. He hasn't called me back. I'm going to wait till tomorrow to put the money order in the mail.

    Thanks for your support.

  • I agree with Rock's idea, if there's a way for you to do that.. I'm sorry you're going through this, smal, parents really suck sometimes.. Sad
  • Sorry I posted and ran.  I'm sure there's a way to cancel the money order and just have your cash back.  Just check with the place you got it from. 
    I'd rather be rock climbing or playing volleyball
    imageimage
  • I agree with Rock..and I am sure she is right about changing the information on the money order.  I hope it all works out. 
  • Thanks girls. I ended up sending it after he confirmed in writing that he would pay me back and it would be used for the car. I'll keep you posted.
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