Hawaii Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BR poll - SAHM vs work?
I read this one of Christine's answers in the Thanksgiving poll below:
sanae78:
I'm especially thankful that I don't have to go back to work (at least not full time) after baby is born. I might, because we'll be better off, but I know I won't want to and I'm glad that I have options (part time or per diem).
I think that the heart of feminism is the power for women to freely choose, whether that choice is to go to work or stay at home - so even though I'm personally planning to return to work (and would regardless of our financial situation, because I love my job and don't view that as a negative or selfish thing), I absolutely don't judge people for choosing to stay at home if they can afford it. I'm just curious as to what choice the ladies on this board are making, and why they've chosen that option.
What are your working plans/desires, post-baby? [Edit: this is only until the child is school-aged, although I know some women may want to SAH permanently.]
Re: BR poll - SAHM vs work?
So I voted for "part-time, rather stay home" because the situation is that I'm the insurance provider for our family since B is self-employed. I'm hoping to find a part-time job with benefits (I'd only have to work 2 days/week), but they're hard to come by. I would much rather stay home because I don't really like my job (ok, some days I loathe it), but then we'd have to buy our own insurance, which would probably cost $800 or so per month. We could do it but would rather not. I could work per diem (most hospitals require 1-2 days/month) but there's no benefits. But the hourly pay would make up for it and I could just use the money to pay for our insurance.
I won't make a final decision until it's close to time for me to either go back to my current job, or find another job. Keeping my fingers crossed that I can find a part-time position somewhere.
I couldn't agree more. I do have days where I think I might like to be a SAHM, but mostly, I think (for me) I'll be a better mom if I do work outside the home. I love my job....it fulfills me, and I think it makes me a better person, which will, in turn, make me a better role model for my children. Although, I can see that someone else's situation may be completely different, and they may feel exactly the same way about staying at home.
I should add that I don't plan to never work again, but I know that at least until my kids go to pre-school, I'd prefer to be at home. I would hate to miss out on big milestones like their first words, first steps, etc. I think I'd be really sad to have to hear about it from someone else. They grow up so fast that I want to be able to savor every moment of it for as long as I can. I also think that it'll be much easier to continue with breastfeeding if I can stay home. Not sure I'll be able to pump consistently at work since nursing is unpredictable.
Ideally, I would work from home. Which means I'd have to change careers...again. I wish I loved my job enough that I would really want to go back to work! (It might be different if I worked elsewhere...still haven't quite figured all that out yet.)
Oh! This is a good point - I should specify in the poll that I'm just meaning until school age (although I know some people may want to do it permanently). I might add in an option for working from home, too.
I'm not sure what I'll end of doing? But this is my current situation and thoughts on it...
I get paid by Employment Insurance for a full year and I'm lucky in that my employer tops me up to 85% of my full wage for 6 months. Employment Insurance would allow Russ to take part of the parental leave if I was going to go back to work, but I will be using the full year.
Later in the year we'll decide if I want/need to go back to work and whether it will be full time or part time. Part of me wants to stay at home because I want to raise my child, and another part of me wants to maintain my skills and be an "adult" for part of the day. Right now I think part time would be the best of both worlds.
Another thing we'll need to take into consideration is if we plan to have another child right away it would make sense financially for me to go back to work full time to build up enough hours to have another paid year off.
Those are my thoughts now... who knows if they'll change over the next year.
It's very interesting ot read everyone elses thoughts.
Married Bio
This, too. I think I should at least work per diem so I don't lose my skills. I want to always have nursing as a back up in case other plans don't pan out. At least I know I'll always be able to find a job in nursing.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
This is a good point! I've read this debate (well, it's not really a debate as such in this post lol, but you know what I mean) on other boards, and I've NEVER seen anyone bring this up. Very good point and something to plan for/think about if you're intending to have more than one.
Also, a full year of paid leave? SWEET deal! I thought I was lucky getting 6 months at half pay!
My situation is a bit different than your options so I didn't vote....I work from home (technically full-time but it's not a rigid 9-5, it's pretty flexible) with a sitter that comes weekday to our house to watch DS while I work. It's an ideal situation for me since I get to work and am only a couple rooms away from DS at all times.
The downsides to this that I've found so far are 1) I sometimes feel like I'm always "at work" since the office is in my house and 2) I had to join a mommy group so DS can meet/play with kids his age, since we don't do daycare, we need to seek out opportunities for DS to interact w/other kids.
I'm not pregnant... nor do I plan to be anytime soon. However, I chose option A because although I'm sure it will be hard to go back to work once I am off maternity leave, I do love my job and I can't picture myself staying at home full time. Unfortunately in the military you don't have the option of part-time. When you find out you're pregnant, you have the option of getting out (totally your choice) but it has to be before the baby is born - which means the birth costs are on you or your spouses insurance. I like my job and the military so I don't see myself taking that option... so it means I have to do full time. I realize, though, that this is how I feel now when babies are far from on the brain and this could change.
Right now I am the primary income earner and benefits provider...so I will continue to work after the baby comes. I do hope to take 8 full weeks off and then transition back to work on a part-time basis (some hours in the office and some at home) for an additional 9 weeks. That should get J through the end of his semester.
He's a fulltime nursing student and works 3-4 shifts in the evenings waiting tables at a local high-end restaurant.
The plan for Libby's first 6 months is for J to be home with her during the day (until 2:30-3:00 p.m.) and then I'll be home (I have flex time at work, so I can go in as early as 6:30 a.m. or as late as 9 a.m. as long as I work 8 hours each day). J had arranged his schedule to have classes in the evenings (3-6 p.m. and 5-8 p.m.) and then 3-4 days a week he'll work at the restaurant 4:30-11:00 p.m.
Next Fall he enters the clinical part of his degree and will have school M-T 9-4 p.m. so then we'll put Libby in daycare....most likely 2 days a week and then have her with my mom the other two days (luckily my mom is a contractor and can make her own hours/schedule). But for at least the first 7-8 months she'll be home with daddy or mommy.
The thing I have to figure out is the times I am traveling for work. I will basically be gone for three weeks in July, 2 weeks in October and another week in November. I'd love for Libby to be able to travel with me so I can continue to breastfeed (she'll be 5-6 months in July), but I am not sure how that'd work since MH or my mom would have to take time off work to come with me and watch her. My dad has offered to take a week off work and meet me at one of the locations to watch her, so I may take him up on that. And I have a SIL who's out of work and if she still is by then, I might just fly her to meet us wherever I am and help out. She used to be a nanny, so I know she can handle it.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
I am a SAHM. Its not that I always wanted to be a SAHM, but it is what works best for us. DH goes to school in the morning at 7am, then straight to work until 8pm. Then military a few weeks a year and one weekend a month. So to make up for all Kai's lack of daddy time, I decided to put my career on hold. Perhaps if DH was around more then I would get a pt job. Heck, I would love that! To have some adult only time sounds like heaven
Being a SAHM is the hardest job I have ever had. Its frustrating, demanding and sometimes I want to run away because I never really get a break. At first is was so difficult and felt so isolating. We joined a playgroup and are now constantly on the go (which we love) and I have made some great new friends. I am also available to travel on a whim with DH or my family if an option arises. So that is a nice perk of a SAHM. Now Kai is my BF and I have a hard time going anywhere without him (sad but true,lol). I have so enjoyed watching him grow at every moment.
I think it is so easy for a SAHM to loose herself and I do see how being a working mom can make you more appreciative when you see your little ones. I dont think either option is better than the other at all. Dr Phil had some episode about this (SAHM vs working mom) and kids of working moms score higher on tests, but kids of SAHMs are more family oriented (just quoting the show).
Oh and as for keeping my skills (environmental consultant), I found shortly after Kai was born, I wanted a different career if I ever went back to work.lol Something changed, my interests changed, my mind changed. lol What I LOVED before, I didnt have an interest in anymore. It was crazy.
Like Cristin, I'm not planning on getting pregnant for a while either. I'm also lucky - I have a job that pays for a year of mat leave (it's only 55% of my yearly pay), and DH has a job that will cover him for full pat leave for 6 months. I also don't have to work to build up hours or anything should baby # 2 arrive shortly thereafter.
The short answer is I don't know. My Mum stayed home until I was 12 and then went back to work, and that definitely hurt her career.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
You're so lucky. I wouldn't even care if I didn't get paid if I could at least have medical benefits. I'd be totally satisfied with that.
Again, maybe I should move to Canada? LOL.
I voted for working PT b/c it's a happy medium. I plan to work PT after the baby is 6 months partially to contribute to the household income, but more importantly, to continue to feel like I have a meaningful purpose beyond the home.
I am OK with putting off my big career goals for a while to allow myself that precious time with our LO(s). However, I did spend a very long time in school earning my graduate degrees, and I don't think I would be satisfied without some of the mental stimulation and sense of contributing to society that I receive from my work. Thankfully, I am self-employed, so I can be very flexible with the amount of work I take on and my scheduling.
I will be home full-time at first, and then will transition into working a couple half-days each week. We will have pricey medical premiums to pay each month, since DH's job only provides coverage for him, but otherwise, I think we can make it work.
YES! See, then you won't have to worry about anything, you just show up at the doctor's and you're good to go.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I had to go back to work full time. I didn't have a choice. I carry the insurance for our family... I hope someday to work pt or work as a school nurse or something that will give me the flexibility to be involved in my child's school activities- christmas parties, soccer games, birthdays at school, etc. I do LOVE my job but it's also very stressful. It does give me a break and allows me the opportunity to really miss Bella so when I get home I scoop her up and have mommy/Bella time for the rest of the night. So basically nothing gets done on the days I work. On the days I'm off, it's like I soak up when she's awake and really enjoy her and interact with her as much as I can.
I'm honestly not sure if I could stay home FT, for me. I need adult interaction and I need to keep up my nursing skills. If I don't keep up my skills, I won't be marketable. You can't leave the nursing world and freely come back, people would rather hire new college nursing grads than an old timer that hasn't actually practiced in years. I NEVER wanted to be a school nurse, it's not an exciting career. BUT I think when the time comes, I won't care as much about my career and I'll really enjoy the break from the hospital stress and then I can be an active participant in my child's day to day life. I see that it could be hard when I'm working 12 hour shifts 3 days a week... time will tell!
I voted for "Working full time. I'd rather stay at home full or part time, but we can't afford it."
Before having Cassie, I always thought going back to work was no big deal, but boy was I wrong. I hate feeling like I'm missing out on so much. You girls that are fortunate enough to stay home with your LO's, count your blessings!
I could stay at home, but we would have to cut back on splurging, vacations, etc. DH was laid off for 9 months so we got a taste of what it would be like to live off of one income, and it wasn't easy.
And by the way, I had no idea how awesome maternity benefits in Canada were! I'm contemplating a move before next baby......