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Seriously f-ing mad right now

DH works alot...alot. And by alot, I mean 7 days a week, even on vacation, holidays, late into the evening...he always goes above and beyond for both the company he works for and the one he owns himself. I totally respect his work ethic. But, it's starting to get to be a bit much. We have had a ton of discussions about his need to work on balancing work and home life.

Today he got up and told me that he "had" to drive a colleague to the airport, then he "had" to drop by the office for a bit. I asked him if he could also stop at Safeway and pick up groceries (I even gave him a list to follow). 4 friggin' hours later he hasn't come home. I call him to ask where he is and he tells me that he "had" to stop by and see an employee who just had knee surgery. Whatever. So 2 more hours passes before he shows up at home with this "what's up your a$$" attitude.

I couldn't help myself, I serriously just lost it, had a total meltdown. I started screaming (which is so *not* like me) about how I just wanted him, for once, to spend ONE day at home, helping and being with me and how he always says that these are things he "has" to do when, in fact they are things he "chooses" to do and that I am so fed up. He started trying to negotiate with me, and I told him to save it, that I didn't care what he had to say about it. It is what it is and he cannot sugar coat it or pretend he's not acting like a total a$$. I asked him what he thought I did all day when he was out wasting time doing things he didn't have to do, for people who don't appreciate and who would never do those thiings for him...and he just stared at me...which seriously pissed me off.

I went up stairs to the bonus room and closed the door.  just needed to be myself and calm down...and a minute later he waltzes in and sits down. Doesn't say a word, nothing. He's been sitting here for almost 2 hours. I want to throw somekthing at him. A$$.

Re: Seriously f-ing mad right now

  • I'm so sorry.  I can kind of understand how you feel.  DH works everyday as well, sometimes well into the night if he's super busy and very often the housework he's responsible for suffers until I nag and nag him for days.

    What is in your bonus room?  Are you guys watching tv or something, or just sitting there in silence?  Why would he just come in and sit down after you clearly need some time to yourself?

    Hopefully once you've both cooled down you can have a conversation about this and come to some sort of understanding.  GL!

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  • We do have a t.v. in here, a computer, etc. But we also have those in other rooms. He just came in here cause he doesn't know what it is to allow someone private time. Really. He doesn't get it. He keeps looking at me, like he's trying to guess how mad I still am. Ugh.

  • OMG that sucks. Maybe he really needed you to blow up for him to understand he's working too much. Does he ever show any remorse/guilt for working so much (and doing un-important work stuff)? I have been working a lot lately (like 55 hrs this week) but I feel really guilty that I had to get take-out out and the "TO DO" list at home is just growing and DH knows I feel bad, but he tells me he knows I need to do it. (My work is still going through difficult times due to the recession and my position is probably being eliminated/moved so in addition to all the pressures of being super busy, I also feel the need to prove my value at work). Anyways hopefully he realizes what the heck is going on and you can have a decent conversation tonight over some beers/Grey Cup (at least Sask is winning!)
  • I feel like I could have written this post myself.

    It is major frustrating. I have NO advice because I am still trying to figure out wtf to do about it myself but I do have a lot of empathy and hugs for you.

    Men. Confused

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  • Oh man, that does really suck.

    Well at least he knows how you feel now. My ex used to be the exact opposite, you couldnt get him to keep a job for the life of him. There was always a "logical reason" to quit.

    I hope things get better for you!

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  • I'm late on things..

    I hope everything is better today Mel Left Hug

    Sounds like it was a pretty frustrating night...

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