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Feeling like an awful sister.
So I feel awful. My little sister just called me and told me she is pregnant. She's 22 and has been seeing her BF for 6-7 months now. She was freaking out because she doesn't know if she's ready. I spared her the lecture of wrapping it up because she was so upset. I'm here for her, and I'll support her no matter what she wants to do. She's scared, I get that. It's just really, really hard for me to handle this because hubby and I have been trying for 4 months now and it hasn't happened yet.
She doesn't have a job (she's graduating cosmetology school Dec. 9th) & she lives with my mom and dad. She just took the test this morning and she hasn't even told my parents yet. My mom will be supportive - it's my dad I'm worried about. He's got a short temper when it comes to my sister (she was always the 'bad' one). I already told her if he kicks her out, she can come stay here with us. Her BF told her that no matter what he loves her and will be there for her.
I feel like such a crappy sister because I'm kind of mad at her for being pregnant when she doesn't want to be, yet here I am trying and it's not happening yet (though, I'm late, so we'll see - we could be having babies in the same month if I get my BFP this month). ((I'm also kind of jealous because now I won't have the first grandkid, dumb, I know.)) Does this make me a bad sister?
Re: Feeling like an awful sister.
No, you're not a bad sister at all. I think your feelings are 100% normal. And it's obvious that you love her and are concerned about her. I have been TTC for over 3 years and have gone through almost 2 years of IF treatment. During that time, I've had 4 miscarriages. Just after my 3rd pg loss I found out my younger sister is pg. I've since had another loss. I remember being excited to have our kids be so close in age but my pg didn't work out. Now granted my sister is married, has a job and the means to provide. But the fact that she's pg just after trying and I've had to endure so much is not fair. It really stung when I found out my sister is pg. I want to be happy for her but I'm just so sad for myself. And I feel the same about not having the 1st grandchild. I am the oldest and have been married much longer than my sister; I was supposed to have the 1st grandchild. But sadly that's not the case.
I'm sorry that your sister is pg; it's hard! Just wanted to say that I understand. I hope you get your BFP soon! Good luck!
Thanks - she just told my mom and my mom took it really well. I had to get off the phone because I started crying and didn't want my sister to hear I was upset.
I'm sorry you're going through it too... I hope you have a sticky baby soon
GL.
THanks for the support.
Nope, not awful, just human.
As PP said, you clearly love her, support her, and are concerned for her. A little jealousy is understandable, particularly when it's something you're trying/hoping for and it happens unexpectedly and unplanned for someone close to you. She obviously wasn't looking to do something to hurt your feelings, but it's understandable why you're feeling the way you do. Take the time you need to accept the news, and then go back to supporting your sister in the way you know she needs right now. It will all work out in the end!
ETA: I just read your post over on Babies & replied to that, too.
... every single day of forever.
Ditto! Hugs to you!
i think its a totally natural reaction. when you want something so bad for yourself its hard to see someone else get it.
i have never gone through this myself, but i know my SIL who has been trying since they got married three years ago has had three miscarriages and is going through fertility treatments. when my BILs gf (they are together and break up/move out atleast bi-weekly, for the last six years) got pregnant it was really really hard for my SIL. she was very angry with herself and didn't understand why someone in a stable marriage with means to provide for a child wasnt blessed with one, but an unstable relationship and a not-so-ideal home was going to have one.
unfortunately for BILs gf, she miscarried. but my point is...its normal! it was a lot to absorb and once you get used to it, youll adjust better. dont beat yourself up about it.