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Should we have been asked about this rather than told?

I just got an email from BIL that basically informs DH and myself that we'll be babysitting their kids (1.5 year old boy and 6 month old girl) from 7pm - ? on Christmas Eve because BIL & SIL have a party to go to.  It's a formal party and they probably won't home until very early the next morning.

I'm slightly miffed that were told rather than asked.  We certainly do not mind and I'm 100% positive that MIL & FIL will come over and hang with us because they can't get enough baby time, but I can't help but feel we're going to get taken advantage of as free babysitters the entire time we're in TX.  It threw me off that they didn't even ask if we had other plans first. 

Should I not be annoyed by this?  Not having kids, I'm just not sure if this is just standard practice when it comes to relatives and children. 

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Re: Should we have been asked about this rather than told?

  • I would be very much annoyed. That was rude of them to assume that you would be free and have no other plans, I would almost lie and say you did have plans but then at the last min, after they haved franticly searched for another babysitter, tell them you can.
    Haha... mean I know, but just a thought.
  • Wow.  That's really rude of them..  I would never assume someone would watch my kid without asking!  
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  • Wow! That's ballsy!

    I would prob respond by saying-Thanks for thinking of us, but I wanted to see what we're doing before committing to watching the kids.  We'll let you know as soon as we do!

    Puts the ball back in your court and doesn't sound too bad... imo.

  • I'd be pissed.  They totally should have asked rather than told.  I'd never just assume someone would be able to do anything for me, no matter how big or small. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I forgot to add that we're staying with them.  I suppose if the situation were reversed I might kinda expect relatives to babysit since they'd be staying in my house, but I'd always ask first. 

    I ran this by a co-worker with small children and he said that if it was him he would assume we'd do it because we're houseguests but he would have asked first.  He also said that this experience should pretty much change my mind about wanting to have kids! 

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Hmmm...nope, I still stand by my OP.  I don't think that just because you're houseguests and will technically be there that that should automatically make you the babysitters like your BIL/SIL are assuming.  I would never feel comfortable not asking someone first (family or friends), that just reeks of rudeness to me.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Regardless if you are staying with them or not I still think they should have asked.

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  • That's really rude!! Even if you don't mind, you are on vacation and should not be assumed to watch their children.

     

    If I were you, I would reply with something like Lori said or with something along the lines of "Since we don't have plans for the night, it will be nice to watch the kids and spend some time with them, but please make sure we are free before you make plans for us to babysit for you."

  • Def would reply with what Lorelai said... that's completely rude on their part!
  • No, it doesn't matter if you are 30 mins away, live next door, or are a houseguest for the week, they need to ask before assuming you're free AND willing to watch their kids.

    It's not a "will give you a room if you watch my kids" exchange. Some people maybe have trouble enough with the thought of being around kids!

    I would reply what Lori suggested. You're on vacation, you may want to do something else around town, and they should ask. I know you have no problems with babysitting this time around, but you don't want that to be the norm every time you go visit. 

  • I would be annoyed!  Even if you were going to say "yes" they should have had the courtesy to ask you! 
    Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ack! Ditto pps - rude and annoying! I like Lori's response. . .
  • Thanks!  I didn't know if I was being over-sensitive in thinking this was rude.

    DH completely doesn't agree and seems to think it's fine.  LOL, heaven help him the day he emails one of my family members a similar demand....

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • I would DEFINITELY be annoyed too!  Just cause you are family does not make you obligated to care for their kids!
  • I would be really, really annoyed.  This is not standard practice, this is rude.  They need to ask and not assume.  I probably wouldn't watch them.
  • Ditto Lori's response.
    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Thats just plain rude, no matter where you live.

     

  • I just forwarded BIL's email to my sister and said "I promise never to do this to you."
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • imageflip_flops:
    I just forwarded BIL's email to my sister and said "I promise never to do this to you."

    LOL! That's funny!

  • That would have gotten an automatic "NO" from me. 

    I would have said, "Sorry, we have a party to attend as well" even if it was a stay at home and watch tv with popcorn and pinot party.

    As Stephanie said....HOW RUDE!

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