April 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Green Eyed Monster Vent
So, a couple we are close with announced that they are pregnant a few weeks ago and I've been in a bad mood and extremely jealous ever since. I've tried to shake it, but am just getting so annoyed. DH and I will set up a timeline for babies and as it gets closer, he says "not yet" "we can't afford it" "we're still young, let's wait" etc. I'm getting fed up. We had a serious talk about it on Halloween and he used the money excuse again. I finally just laid into him that we have plenty of money. We have plenty in savings. We own our own home. We are paying debt down like crazy. We're not getting any younger. There's no reason to wait much longer. We had talked about trying on our trip to Europe in March and now he's backing off as it gets closer. I asked him point blank if he was scared and he said no, and cited the money excuse again. I haven't even really talked to our friends that told us they are pregnant other than a text message that said "congrats." We got their Christmas card in the mail tonight with their Christmas letter talking about the pregnancy and I could barely look at it. I'm just so mad at DH. On one hand I don't want to force him into something that he's not ready for, but on the other hand, he's not living up to his word either. Its funny because lots and lots of people around me are pregnant and I'm genuinely thrilled for them, but this couple really has me upset. Maybe because we are so similar to them and always shared the same timeline/views on having a baby that I can't help thinking "If Brett's ready, then why can't Andrew be ready." This is the first pregnancy in our close group of friends, so I'm sure that's adding to my feelings. I guess I just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening. Anyone who wants to give me some advice on not being so upset and jealous over this would be greatly appreciated!!
Re: Green Eyed Monster Vent
How frustrating. I would talk to the friends though. Just come out and say it because they may be feeling like you don't care and that's not what you want. You don't want to ruin a friendship over it. Of course you are happy for them... you are just pissed at DH. Maybe seeing how this couple handles the process will actually help him realize that he is ready. I hope that is the case.
Could you put together a spreadsheet of finances and give it to your DH so he at least can't use the money excuse anymore?
Hugs to you. I hope that you and DH can get on the same schedule soon!!
I am sorry! I know how that damn green eyed monster feels!!!
Maybe Andrew is scared of how much a baby could cost. Maybe it's not being scared to be a dad but the money associated with a baby.
We actually do a spreadsheet every week and DH knows down to the penny how much $ we have at any given moment. lol. DH is just ultra tight with money and never thinks we have enough. I think he's worried that I'll get pregnant and go drop 10k at BRU or something ridiculous like that. I do tend to go over board when I get excited about something, so I can see his point there. I'll talk to our friends more soon. It's kind of a two way thing though, they've started distancing themselves from the group too. They did this after they got married and then rejoined when other people started getting married. They tend to isolate themselves, so it's not like I've gone out of my way not to see them. I'll probably send them a little gift though at some point. We're supposed to see them next weekend, so I guess I'll see how it is and hope its now awkward. Thanks for the love G and B!!
I'm sorry. Your Dh will come around i promise. I hope that it happens soon. Until then have fun!
I know how you feel.
There aren't many of our friends that are married with kids, one of them that got married the year before us had a baby this year. I was jealous at first, because we're the same age and we were generally in the same place and blah blah blah but Steve really just wasn't ready. And, honestly as much as I was ready to have kids - financially it would have been a disaster. I know you're never truly financially ready but we were up to our eyeballs in debt and living with his parents when she got pregnant. We had set up a timeline before we moved in with ILs, but once we did we swiftly put that on hold because I didn't want to impose a brand new baby on them along with me, Steve, and our dog ya know?
Now that we're buying a house I don't know when it'll happen. Steve's getting ready to start his own business and we might hold off a little longer. They'll be a legal business by the time we move into the house, but just barely. Will I be older than I want when I have kids, yes. If we wait a little longer will we be a little better off than we are now, probably.