Christmas/Friend vent

HokieLaw · December 2009

This has a little to do with shopping and a lot to do with a friend.

I was on the phone with my BFF on Saturday while walking around the mall looking for gifts for MH. I made a comment about not knowing what else to get him other than the one big thing he asked for and asked for her input between two gifts. Her response?

"Oh, well, when you have kids you won't care as much about buying each other gifts."

WTF? First off, I don't have kids. Second, how does that apply to the question of "What do you think I should get him...this or that?"

Seriously, I understand that she has a 2 year old now and that her child defines her, but I don't have kids and hopefully I won't be "defined" by my child when I do. We honestly can't have a conversation anymore that doesn't revolve 99% around her daughter. I don't mind talking about her kid, really I don't. I love her little girl. But EVERY single TIME I try to talk about something the conversation changes to her daughter.

for instance...

Me: I need to buy milk.

her: My baby loves milk.

Me: I stubbed my toe.

Her: My baby knows how to dance!

Me: I ran 5 miles today.

Her: My baby ate carrots!

GreysGirl · December 2009

That is really annoying, like saying your relationship with your husband won't be as important when you have kids.

I used to have a cw like that that always turned everything into a story about her kids. They were older like 15 and 18 I think and she made them sound like they were angels walking among us, sooo annoying. Example of her

Me: I love the holidays

CW: My son volunteers to give out toys to poor children.

Me: Oh I'm sorry I just threw up in my mouth alittle bit

Paula051907 · December 2009

HokieLaw:

Seriously, I understand that she has a 2 year old now and that her child defines her, but I don't have kids and hopefully I won't be "defined" by my child when I do. We honestly can't have a conversation anymore that doesn't revolve 99% around her daughter. I don't mind talking about her kid, really I don't. I love her little girl. But EVERY single TIME I try to talk about something the conversation changes to her daughter.

GreysGirl:

That is really annoying, like saying your relationship with your husband won't be as important when you have kids.

So this is why I think I get the ?anti-baby? reputation. LOL Everyone parents differently and lives their lives differently; for some, their child IS THEIR WORLD and that?s all there is. Fine. VERY happy for you ? because that?s what makes you happy. But not everyone is like that. And that?s okay.

Personally, I really struggle though because I think the same thing, Mandy. Makes you want to just respond to them with the sarcastic ?Really? Of all the things you can respond with, that's the one you're gonna go with? Confused ?

HokieLaw · December 2009

I actually ended up saying "Look, I'm going to get off here and call Ang." she asked why and I said "Because she'll be able to assist with my problem."

I know that some people can't help it - when they have a child that is the only thing that is important to them anymore and that's fine. seriously, great for them. I'm very happy that she has this baby that is so important to her and has given her such happiness (because she was not happy before she had the baby at all). But there comes a point when you have to realize you are ignoring your friends and only focusing on your child and you shouldn't do that. She has even said "I'd rather spend time with just baby rather than baby and MH." Seriously?

Mrs.Graves51907 · December 2009

Sounds like she has a lot of issues when she says she'd rather just spend time with her daughter and not her family as a whole.

blairsgirl · December 2009

That's annoying. People that do that really aggravate me. I love my kids, but I also need adult conversations that don't revolve around them and to do things for myself and with my husband that don't involve them. Some people take it to an extreme. I feel like shaking them and saying just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to give up the person you were before you had him/her.

flyer1982 · December 2009

blairsgirl:
That's annoying. People that do that really aggravate me. I love my kids, but I also need adult conversations that don't revolve around them and to do things for myself and with my husband that don't involve them. Some people take it to an extreme. I feel like shaking them and saying just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to give up the person you were before you had him/her.

I agree! Even when my friends call me and ask how Declan's doing I usually answer with a 1 word "fine" or "great" because even though I know they do care how he's doing they don't want to hear an hour long conversation on how he's eating, sitting, etc.

HokieLaw · December 2009

flyer1982:

blairsgirl:
That's annoying. People that do that really aggravate me. I love my kids, but I also need adult conversations that don't revolve around them and to do things for myself and with my husband that don't involve them. Some people take it to an extreme. I feel like shaking them and saying just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to give up the person you were before you had him/her.

I agree! Even when my friends call me and ask how Declan's doing I usually answer with a 1 word "fine" or "great" because even though I know they do care how he's doing they don't want to hear an hour long conversation on how he's eating, sitting, etc.

And that right there is why I love both of you girls. You don't have to tell me about your child's poop when I mention I'm eating chocolate. Unfortunately, that's a true story.

blairsgirl · December 2009

HokieLaw:
flyer1982:

blairsgirl:
That's annoying. People that do that really aggravate me. I love my kids, but I also need adult conversations that don't revolve around them and to do things for myself and with my husband that don't involve them. Some people take it to an extreme. I feel like shaking them and saying just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to give up the person you were before you had him/her.
I agree! Even when my friends call me and ask how Declan's doing I usually answer with a 1 word "fine" or "great" because even though I know they do care how he's doing they don't want to hear an hour long conversation on how he's eating, sitting, etc.
And that right there is why I love both of you girls. You don't have to tell me about your child's poop when I mention I'm eating chocolate. Unfortunately, that's a true story.

LOL!!!!!!! It's a good thing I don't like chocolate or that might have ruined it for me forever.

Paula051907 · December 2009

flyer1982:

blairsgirl:
That's annoying. People that do that really aggravate me. I love my kids, but I also need adult conversations that don't revolve around them and to do things for myself and with my husband that don't involve them. Some people take it to an extreme. I feel like shaking them and saying just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to give up the person you were before you had him/her.

I agree! Even when my friends call me and ask how Declan's doing I usually answer with a 1 word "fine" or "great" because even though I know they do care how he's doing they don't want to hear an hour long conversation on how he's eating, sitting, etc.

At the same time, if I ask about someone's kids, I genuinely want to know. I appreciate the hour time limit and preferably not going into quite "chocolate" detail... LOL

But this is why when people say "When you have kids, you'll see." I almost automatically Confused . According to everything that's been in that kind of statement, we'd never have sex again, never get to eat together again, never have time to workout, never go anywhere ever again with or without the kids, and we'd never leave the town we live in (or a neighboring town to visit family.)

blairsgirl · December 2009

Paula051907:
flyer1982:

blairsgirl:
That's annoying. People that do that really aggravate me. I love my kids, but I also need adult conversations that don't revolve around them and to do things for myself and with my husband that don't involve them. Some people take it to an extreme. I feel like shaking them and saying just because you have a child doesn't mean you need to give up the person you were before you had him/her.
I agree! Even when my friends call me and ask how Declan's doing I usually answer with a 1 word "fine" or "great" because even though I know they do care how he's doing they don't want to hear an hour long conversation on how he's eating, sitting, etc.
At the same time, if I ask about someone's kids, I genuinely want to know. I appreciate the hour time limit and preferably not going into quite "chocolate" detail... LOL
But this is why when people say "When you have kids, you'll see." I almost automatically . According to everything that's been in that kind of statement, we'd never have sex again, never get to eat together again, never have time to workout, never go anywhere ever again with or without the kids, and we'd never leave the town we live in (or a neighboring town to visit family.)

That is only the case if you let it be the case.

Mrs.Graves51907 · December 2009

blairsgirl:

That is only the case if you let it be the case.

That is what I was just going to say.

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